A parent’s worst nightmare is learning something is seriously wrong with their child. It is traumatic at any age in that child’s life, but far worse in the case of an infant.

Being told your 2 month old son has a huge hole in his heart, an enlarged heart from it working overtime to compensate for that hole, as well as having fluid in his lungs which is affecting his heart function even more, is devastating.

Ashley B and Coleman are fighting for their son Cash. Their family, extended family, and friends have rallied to their side, and we are all supporting them as much as possible as they begin this long and unbelievably frightening journey.

Even after having his surgery to repair the hole, Cash will still have to remain in the hospital for several weeks while being closely monitored by a group of extremely dedicated and highly professional doctors and nurses at Children’s Hospital of the Kings Daughter’s (CHKD) in Norfolk.

The following is an update posted by Cash’s mom early Thursday morning. Stay strong, my friends!

“And here we thought Monday was bad! L’il man was 10.8 lbs on Monday, and is now down to 10.1 just three days later. We have a very sick little boy on our hands, but by looking at him, you would never know.

Besides the massive hole in his heart, the left side of his heart is swelling due to its having to work extra hard; his liver is enlarged; and his lungs have a lot of fluid in them. We really need him to be able to keep this medicine down, and to put on weight.

As for me, it’s a lot to take in in just a few short days. A LOT! I don’t think it all really hit me until this morning when I called the doctor with some of my concerns, and they said to bring him in immediately, and pack a bag for him!

This made me realize even more how serious this was; my baby wasn’t coming home with us tonight; he’d be staying at the hospital. I’ve been to visit an ICU before, but never a PICU (pediatric intensive care unit). I walked in here holding Cash in my arms, and immediately I wanted to turn around and run out of here with my baby!

I felt my throat closing, and I actually couldn’t breathe. I went into a mental breakdown. It was just too much to comprehend. This floor is not only terrifying, it is heart wrenching. Please don’t get me wrong; they are doing amazing things on this floor. But there are some very, very sick and hurting babies, children, and teens on this floor.

I can’t put into words the heartache I’m feeling for every child on this floor and their families. We got to our room where immediately several nurses are in there all ready for Cash. Watching him being held down while they take blood and put IV’s in his tiny little hands/arms while he cried is about the next most heart wrenching thing in the world, because I knew this cry. This is not an “I’m tired” or “I’m hungry” cry. This is a “Mommy I’m hurting!” cry.

Fast forward to now [late Thursday evening] because there’s a lot in between. Maybe I should write a blog [you are, but you didn’t know it until I told you!]. Anyways now, it’s 11:55 pm and I’ve just laid down, but not with my baby who sleeps every night by my side. I am glad he is finally comfortable enough to sleep, but I’m so sad it’s not with me. As I lay here missing him…yes, even though we’re in the same room, I can’t help but hear the cries of other children in here, and I want to fix them, too.

I’m lucky enough at the moment to be able to hold Cash, though with all the wires we can’t go on our usual walks, but I can at least hold him. Many parents in here cannot hold their babies or even go in their rooms with them without wearing a full protective suit and mask. Some may not be able to go in at all, but only look at them through a piece of glass. I know I need to get some rest, but this is seriously a LOT to take in.

We seriously cannot thank you all for the prayers and love and support. It truly does take a village to raise a baby!! Thank you all from the bottom of our hearts.”

Ashley B
October 6, 2016

Previous posts in this series can be found in the “Healing a Tiny Heart” Category on this blog.