Monthly Archives: January 2023

Kids Will Be Kids…Except When They’re Not

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Except when they take a gun to school and end up shooting their teacher. And it appears to be a deliberate act.

In this particular case, the child IS a child…age wise, at least. He’s 6 years old. A first grader.

I remember being in the first grade 65+ years ago. And I can tell you with certainty me or any of my classmates would have never thought about doing such a thing. My mother was a kindergarten teacher for some 25 years, and I doubt seriously any of her students would have thought of it either.

For those of you who haven’t heard about this, let me tell you about it. 

January 6, 2023 started out as a regular school morning at Richneck Elementary School in Newport News, Virginia. The day ended tragically early when a 26 year old first grade teacher had a gun pointed at her by one of her students. That student pulled the trigger of the 9 millimeter handgun and shot her, the bullet going through her hand and into her chest.

Her entire class witnessed this. How do you think they felt? Scared to death? Afraid they’d be next? Never wanting to go to school again?

The teacher was in critical condition for several days, and finally released 13 days later, still but faces a long stretch of physical therapy as well as psychological counseling. The bullet is still in her body, which may result in more surgery.

And the shooter? Because he’s so young, we don’t know much. What we do know is that he is said to have a severe disability (which can’t be named because of his age) and because of the IEP (individual educational plan) he is under, he is supposed to be accompanied daily to school with either his mother or father. 

This particular week neither of his parents went with him.

His mother purchased the gun legally and has stated it was kept on a high shelf in the closet with a trigger lock. Maybe I’m a skeptical person, but I just can’t imagine how a 6 year old could’ve gotten a gun that was stored on a high shelf in a closet and then taken off the trigger lock. By himself. But then again, I guess anything is possible.

But things don’t add up for me. There has to be more to the story.

Then there’s the reaction of the school administration. Which is unconscionable.

In a news conference on Wednesday  January 25 the teacher’s attorney stated that on that day the teacher told an administrator the child had “threatened to beat up another child.” Administration didn’t remove the child from class or call security. They ignored it.

An hour later another teacher told the administrator she believed the student had put a gun in his pocket and taken it out to recess. The administrator downplayed the possibility, saying the boy had “little pockets.” Again the threat was ignored.

Shortly thereafter another teacher told administrators another child described as “crying and fearful” had informed the teacher this 6 year old showed him the gun at recess and threatened to shoot him if he told anybody. Nothing was done.

The teacher also texted a loved one before the shooting that the boy in her class was armed and that school officials were failing to act.

Another employee asked administration for permission to search the boy and his backpack, but permission was denied. He was told to wait the situation out, because the school day was almost over.

Well, it was almost over.

Because an hour later the student pointed his gun and shot his teacher. Police have described the shooting as intentional. The teacher somehow was able to evacuate her classroom while another teacher restrained the 6 year old shooter. She and the other teacher are the heroes of this story. 

The student is currently still in a local hospital undergoing treatment.

This is without a doubt one of the most tragic shooting events I’ve heard about. I cannot begin to even imagine how these events unfolded. How the school administration time and again failed not only the teacher who was almost killed, but the other students, as well as a student who clearly was in need of help. Our teachers do not get paid enough as it is, and certainly not enough to have to deal with situations such as this.

This is an example not only of total lack of common sense, as well as lack of concern for others, but a huge failure on the part of this school system to take precautions to ensure the safety not only of their students, but their teachers as well. I’ve heard that metal detectors have now been ordered for the schools in this district. It’s like the old saying of “closing the barn door after the horses escape.”

Why does it take such a tragedy in order to do what should have been done before? Are our schools more concerned about budgets and grades than they are about keeping their students safe? Are they more concerned about upsetting one student and their parents that the remainder of their students are put at risk?

Public outcry in this situation is resulting in change. Administrators are being terminated or resigning, hopefully to be replaced by others who will make better decisions in the future.

But this is not enough. It’s a start, but we need to learn from it and do things differently. I am a huge supporter of metal detectors in our schools, as well as armed security guards. It’s sad that it’s come to this, but we cannot ever afford to put a price tag on the value of our children and grandchildren. It’s time to make our voices heard over and over again until we get results.

Parents, grandparents, and concerned citizens, please speak up for what is right. For protection of our young ones who are the future of this country. They deserve the right to learn without fear, and the right to be in a classroom where they don’t have to worry about someone harming them, whether it be another student, or heaven forbid, someone from the outside.

This could happen in any school, in any district, and in any state.

Let’s all do what we can to stop this senseless violence against our most precious and defenseless population, our children. We must leave them a world that’s better than we’re seeing now. And we’re the only ones who can do it.

** Note: The details in this post were taken from news sources readily available online from WAVY-TV, CNN, CBS, and NBC. Please feel free to read the stories for yourself.

The Flamingo Cafe

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A few months after the flamingos tried their wings (unsuccessfully) at baking, they had another brainstorm. 

When they walked into the kitchen with magazines and pictures of restaurants in their wings, I knew we were in for another adventure. One that most likely called for advice from my husband. 

And I wasn’t wrong. 

The flamingos gathered around our breakfast table and spread out a bunch of pictures of tropical restaurants, menus, and flamingo- friendly foods and drinks. Then they started chattering all at the same time, flapping their wings in their excitement!

“Ok, guys, calm down,” we said. “One at a time. What’s going on here?” Ben asked. 

Frankie had obviously been designated to be the spokesbird for the group. So he proudly explained what they’d been secretly investigating for the last several months, which actually explained their unfortunately unsuccessful interest in baking.

They’d come across a beachside cafe location for rent at a good price, and had been putting plans together to open their own cafe featuring flamingo friendly food as well as items we’d enjoy as well.

And they really seemed to have their plans in order. We were both impressed.

They’d found several locations, but the place they really liked was right off the boardwalk with an ocean view. They’d planned some remodeling to include lots of palm trees, tropical flowers, and a sandy floor to go along with the beach just outside. With a colorful salt water fish tank at the entrance.

The bar would have tiny colored lights all around, with, of course, a tiki bar theme. And they knew it would be quite popular with their clientele.

They’d also planned a little gift shop for t-shirts and other flamingo gift items. “And eventually we’ll even have our own cookbook to sell,” added Frankie.

Their own cookbook? Now that was certainly something that would take time to put together! And it certainly wouldn’t include any cakes and cookies after their last kitchen experience!

“Plans look great,” Ben told them. “Reminds me of one of our favorite places in Ocean City, Maryland. Only smaller and easier to manage.”

Frankie continued his presentation, showing us their carefully planned table decor of casual mismatched dishes in flamingo designs and coordinating plain colors. And of course, a huge selection of acrylic as well as hand painted flamingo glassware. With tropical flowers and tea light candles as centerpieces. 

Flamingos obviously have a good sense for decorating. We approved their designs fortunately, since they’d already started buying pieces online and at discount stores. They were obviously very serious!

They did ask our opinion on the menu, since they wanted people like us dining there as well as other flamingos. They’d selected shrimp and other seafood dishes (oysters Rockefeller, calamari, escargot)…appetizers as well as salads, sandwiches and wraps. Charcuterie boards. Dinner selections with seafood and pasta. It all sounded quite good.

Then there would be tropical desserts starting with key lime pie and lemon meringue. Citrus soufflés. Fruit and sherbet. And chilled crème brûlée.

Of course they were going to offer a variety of tropical signature drinks, the “Pink Flamingo”, “Hibiscus Margarita”, and “Twisted Pink Lemonade”, to name a few, along with wine and champagne, of course.

What they hadn’t thought about were employees. Of course they wanted to hire mostly flamingos, but we suggested they needed to have a combination of both people as well as flamingos. After all, we reminded them, not all flamingos are that great at cooking. (Remember their baking experience?)

Plus they had to remember to train the flamingo servers not to grab any shrimp off the plates they were serving! And to not sample the drinks they were bringing out. Their customers would most likely not appreciate sharing!

But our biggest question…could they afford it? “After all,” Ben explained, “there aren’t a lot of banks out there who’ll loan money to flamingos!” He was just waiting for them to ask us for a loan!

“That’s not a problem,” Frankie replied. “We already have an investor. And he loves flamingos as much as you two do! In fact, we have to go meet with him next.” And they packed up their papers and headed out, still chattering among themselves about their plans.

Well…this should be interesting.

What they’ll end up doing, who knows!? It all sounds great, but actually running a restaurant? It’s a lot of work, and flamingos do like to party, as well as to be flexible and take off whenever they feel like it. I guess they could always find an experienced manager to run it for them. And since it’s going to be at the beach, they’ll have several months to work on the renovations and get everything in order before it’s time to open for the spring season.

Will they go through with it or not?

They’re flamingos; so who knows? It’s a great idea, and one that could certainly work with the right location, menu, and staffing. Time will tell.

39 is Far Too Many

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The first thing I read in the news the other morning was about ANOTHER mass shooting. Another in California. California’s THIRD in as many days.

But this isn’t about California. It isn’t about all the recent mass shootings at Walmart. 

It isn’t about school shootings.

It’s about our country’s refusal to realize that something has to be done to stop this madness. 

And that doesn’t mean we need to license more people for concealed or open carry.

It doesn’t mean we need to arm our teachers in their classrooms. They’re there to teach, not stop a gunman from shooting their students. Or a student shooting other students.

We need to make changes in our gun laws. And we need to change our attitudes about guns, as well as our attitudes about mental health.

Yes. Mental health. Because these people who are committing these horrendous acts of cowardly terrorism are most definitely in need of intervention. 

In the aftermath of these horrific incidents it’s very often discovered that a majority of the perpetrators have exhibited signs of serious and disturbing emotional and psychological problems. Which unfortunately are very often being largely ignored by friends, family, or coworkers.

Could some of these massacres have been prevented if people had spoken up instead of turning away and ignoring what they saw? Possibly. But we’ll never know, will we? Because so many people just don’t want to get involved.

But maybe at least some more massacres could be prevented if people took more careful note of others around them doing or saying things, posting things, that possibly could be an indication of a problem, and letting someone know. But then again, too many people like to ignore such things, afraid of retaliation or retribution from others. So they stay silent, and when something happens, that’s when they speak up. 

After it’s too late.

But this does not negate the need for stricter gun laws. AND the need to enforce those laws rather than oftentimes look the other way when someone wants to purchase a firearm who doesn’t meet the criteria under the law.

And by all means, we need to pass a ban on assault weapons. No one needs them for hunting. They are weapons for war, for quick kills. Why does Joe Public need one? And don’t tell me it’s to defend his family, because there are other ways. Yes, the Constitution allows us to keep and bear arms, but laws are designed to regulate how that is done.

And yes, I understand that there will always be an element of society that will find ways to acquire weapons no matter what. And in that case, when they’re caught, we need the laws to be strictly enforced, with no plea bargains. And all rights to gun ownership resulting in a lifetime ban on future gun ownership or possession with harsher penalties for violation. 

And what about educating gun owners on the proper and safe methods of securing their firearms? Perhaps even requiring those who legally own a firearm being required to take a safety course every so often in order to keep that license to own a gun? Don’t we have to have our drivers licenses renewed on a regular basis? What’s the difference?

By now I’m sure many of you will have tuned out and think I’m crazy to suggest any such limitations in gun ownership. After all, it’s their right!

Well let me close by asking this question? How would you feel if your loved one was killed or hurt in a mass shooting? What if there were a shooting at your child’s school? Would you still think there’s no need for stronger gun control laws? Picture yourself getting that phone call or seeing it on the news.

My friends, it’s time to make our voices heard and come up with a solution to these problems. Before there are more mass murders. 

Even one more is too many. 

Overcoming the Victim Mentality

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He did this to me.”

“She said that about me.”

“I was being bullied because someone said something that I don’t agree with and I didn’t like it. They’re making me feel like they hate me.”

“He told me I’m fat and ugly and don’t deserve to have anything nice.”

“Everyone picks on me. No one understands what I’m going through. They don’t get it. I’m always being picked on.”

“He/she deserted me for someone else and now nothing’s going right. It’s not fair.”

“Whatever I do or say, someone always tells me I don’t know what I’m talking about and makes me feel bad about myself. They’re always picking on me.”

Do these statements sound familiar? 

Does someone you know say such things all the time? Or do you find yourself saying them?

What do these statements all have in common?

They’re what you use to make yourself the victim in everything that goes wrong in your life. Because it’s easier to blame someone else for everything than looking at yourself and asking why all this seems to be happening.

Maybe you’re the type of person who just can’t be happy unless there’s something to complain about.

Maybe it’s easier to explain away all your unhappiness because it’s someone else’s fault. 

But when you keep repeating the same reasons over and over in every unhappy situation there’s a problem.

It’s your victim mentality. Because it’s easier to blame someone else rather than look inside yourself and try to figure out why this same situation happens time after time.

Maybe you don’t know any other way to be. And maybe keeping that victim mentality in its strange way makes you happy. Because it’s easier to keep complaining than move out of your comfort zone. 

There’s always an excuse. But what you don’t realize is, you’re the excuse, because you’re always playing the victim.

And if you don’t stop, you’ll never be the conqueror.

And isn’t it time for you to be a conqueror rather than a victim?

Little Did I Imagine…

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…when I first saw you, my beautiful baby daughter, when I first held you, where life would take you. I had no idea where your life would take you. All of the adventures ahead. All of the exciting times. The special times in your life. Your first boyfriend. Graduating from high school. Meeting Chris, the young man who quickly stole your heart.  Your 21st birthday. Graduating from college. Getting engaged. Your wedding day. You and Chris announcing your first pregnancy.

Little could I imagine where your lives were going next….

I couldn’t take my eyes off your own first daughter Rachel when I first saw her. I cried. I couldn’t help it, because I saw my own mother’s eyes in her. She looked just like you when I held you in my arms the first time. And you looked exactly like me when I was a baby. There’s no doubt we’re all related. Your grandmother even used to call you by my name when you were younger.

I watched as you adjusted to being a mother, watching your grow into a new level of adulthood. You and Chris both changed your lives, as you learned how to be parents. And that’s not an easy thing to learn. (I think your dad and I are still learning.)

I watched Rachel grow from a little baby into a toddler, running around and keeping you both on your toes. Then there came the day you sent us a picture of Rachel looking at a “big sister” book and I couldn’t call you quick enough! What a double blessing you’d given us!

Little did I know what you had in store with those two little girls…sisters who I know will end up being best friends forever. Even though right now they alternate between loving each other to yelling and screaming at each other. Sometimes in the same hour. I do often wonder what would’ve happen if you’d had a little sister like that. Most likely the same things you’re seeing them go though now. And since you’d have been the oldest, I can imagine you’d be acting a lot like Rachel!

And I kept telling you you’d have a boy next time, which you and Chris both wanted. I just felt it. And you didn’t believe me. And little did you know, but I was right. I knew it when you sent us a picture of your two girls both wearing “big sister” shirts. And once again I couldn’t call you quickly enough!

Little did you know this time it WAS a boy, even though Rachel kept telling you it was, even before any of us were able to confirm it. And I knew he’d look just like his daddy.

We did know you’d probably have the same problems with daily morning, afternoon and evening sickness you’d had with your other pregnancies, although we were hoping for an easier time.

But little did we imagine you’d develop a rare pregnancy-induced liver condition that would endanger both you and our grandson. Fortunately you had excellent medical care and a prayer team who never stopped praying for you and baby Ryan. And he was born just five days before Christmas. Five weeks early. You said he’d be early, and you were right!

And little did I expect to have the reaction I had when he was born. I’d been so nervous with this one, especially knowing how early he was, and sitting in the waiting area pacing back and forth waiting for news.

I wasn’t prepared for a nurse coming out to get me and telling me there was someone who wanted to meet me, and I should come with her. I’d been so nervous that it took a minute to register what she was telling me. “He’s really anxious to meet you,” she said, “but you can’t touch him yet!”

At that point it registered, and I almost ran back to see our son-in-law standing by the isolette with their new son, all 6 pounds of him, his little head covered by a red and white crocheted cap for Christmas. “He’s perfectly healthy,” Chris said proudly.

And I couldn’t do anything but cry my tears of happiness, and relief that our miracle child was here. He was beautiful!

But little did we know he’d be back in the hospital on his one week birthday because he wasn’t holding his body temperature. Fortunately once again our prayers were answered and he was back home within three days, just in time for the new year!

Little do we know what lies ahead for all of you with your family now complete. Three beautiful children. And now celebrating 15 years since your first date and almost 8 years married! And look at where life has already taken the two – now five – of you. And it’s hard to believe little Ryan is already one month old.

Life is always interesting and certainly never boring, and your lives will definitely remain interesting, to say the least. We love you all so much.

You Don’t Want to Be Like Anyone Else

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You just want to be you. Because that’s who you are. There’s only one you.

Only one person in the world exactly like you. Others may look a bit like you, like a lot of the same things you do, even dress similarly. But there are still differences.

Even identical twins have slight differences. And sometimes only they can know the differences. But they’re still there.

You’re unique. You are wonderfully and perfectly made to be exactly who you are.

So instead of wanting to be like someone else, cherish your uniqueness.

Because there’s someone out there who wants to be like you!

There Will Never Be a Relationship Manual

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So don’t look for one.

Why? Because relationships involve two people, and no two people are alike.

So how can any relationship be anything like another?

You have to write your own manual. And that manual is one you add to every day. There’s no end to it.

Relationships are complicated. What works in one relationship won’t work in another. They’re the hardest things in the world to get right because they involve people, and you can’t control other people. You can’t make decisions without them, and you should never make decisions without consulting them.

You think there are perfect relationships? I have to tell you. There is no such thing. If you find someone who says they’ve never argued with their partner, they’re not telling the truth. 

In every successful relationship there are always times one or both partners feel like they want to give up. Start over with someone else. But that’s not how it works. 

Sure there are situations in which there are totally irreconcilable differences…abuse, cheating, untreated drug or alcohol abuse, to name a few.

But more relationships fail because of lack of communication and a true lack of commitment than the reasons I mentioned above. Without each person being able to communicate to the other, being able to express their feelings, and being ready, willing and able to truly listen to what the other has to say, it’s much harder to make the relationship successful. 

Trust is also vital. If you can’t trust someone with your feelings, how do you expect them to trust you with theirs?

Where is your relationship right now? If it needs some work, there no time like now to get started on repairs.

And if it’s going along beautifully, you’re truly blessed. Because in each relationship there’s always a little something that can be improved.

Problems Just Don’t Go Away

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It’s a mistake to turn your back on a problem. Or run away from it.

Because it’s going to follow you. It’s going to keep right on your heels until you turn around and face it.

It won’t ever go away on its own. You may think it has. But it’s still there, hiding, and biding its time til it’s ready to return and remind you it’s still there.

And it’ll return when you least expect it.

So my advice to you: turn around and deal with it now. Because each time it returns, it’s bigger than before.

Deal with it now. And be done with it forever.

Decisions

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We make them every day, you know. And they’re not always big ones.

We decide what we’re going to wear that day, and what shoes go best with that outfit.

We decide what we’re going to eat. If we’re going out to eat, and if so, we decide where. Or if we’re staying at home, we have to decide on a menu, and if we’re cooking it ourselves or having it delivered from a restaurant.

If we have children, we have to help them decide what to wear, and what they’re going to eat. Among other things.

We have to decide what we’re going to do on our weekends. Where we’re going and with who. Or if we’re just going to enjoy time to do nothing.

If someone we care about has a birthday coming up, we have to decide on a gift.

When it’s Christmas we have to decide on gifts for our family and friends, and even more, decide on ways to make the holiday a very memorable and special time.

These are decisions we make that many times we don’t even realize we’re making them. They just happen and we usually do them without a lot of thought. 

They’re easy to make.

But then there are the other decisions. The tough ones. The ones you don’t want to have to make, but you sometimes have no choice.

The decision to leave a job and start over, when you see that things are going terribly wrong and may not get better. Or you’re not going anywhere with your current job and you know you need to make a change. 

The decision to move yourself and your family several hundreds of miles away for either family situations or employment opportunities, leaving behind other beloved family members and friends you’ve known forever.

The decision as whether or not to split up with a spouse for totally devastating reasons: unfaithfulness, theft of your personal savings; criminal activity; severe drug or alcohol abuse; physical or emotional abuse. The list can go on but you get the idea. And it’s especially hard if you have young children.

The decision to move an elderly parent or maybe your spouse to a nursing home or other specialized care facility because they can no longer care for themselves and you cannot do it either.

Or even worse, the decision to take a family member off of life support because there is no hope for recovery.

Decisions are sometimes easy, and other times difficult, even gut wrenching. Unfortunately they’re part of life, and there’s sometimes no choice in the matter. You make the best decision you can under the circumstances. And once you do, you can’t look back and do a “what if?” Because those “what if’s” aren’t going to happen. 

Whatever decision you may be facing in the coming days, weeks, or even months, make the best one you can under the circumstances. And don’t look back, because you did the right thing at the time. 

May you have the confidence to make the right decisions in the coming year, and may you make them with no regrets afterwards.

Be at Peace…Not in Pieces

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I don’t know about you, but lots of time I feel like I’m pulled in so many different directions I’m in the middle of a tug of war and about to be torn apart.

Sometimes I just need a break to regroup and let go of some of the things that are pulling at me and threatening to tear me apart or crush me into pieces.

What about you?

Everyone needs a time to rest; a time to relax. A time to do only what you want to do.

Some time to say this is MY day to be with me and no one else. To spend time catching up with yourself. Asking yourself what’s gotten you in this shape and what you need to do to get yourself back to you.

And don’t be afraid to answer yourself.

Go to your quiet place and just be you. Do what you enjoy most by yourself. It may be reading, writing, painting or drawing, creating jewelry, or just taking a walk on the beach or having a massage.

We all need this escape from time to time, to be at peace with ourselves. Not in a bunch of pieces that seem to get more and more broken as we go along. To put those broken pieces back together.

Take some time to find your peace this week. Before life starts to break you again.

Wine and Paint – Flamingo Style

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By now I’m sort of used to the flamingos just wandering into the house at any time. It’s what they do. They get an idea in their pink heads, talk and squawk about it among themselves til they get their ideas planned out, and then come and tell us about it, knowing that (usually) we’ll support them in their ideas.

I had no idea what they were planning this time, since they walked in carrying blank paint canvases, an easel or two, and boxes of watercolor and acrylic paints, as well as a selection of colored pencils. With a lot of various shades of pink, I might add.

“So what are you all up to this time?” I asked, looking at all the supplies they were carrying. I wondered what room in the house they were planning to disrupt with their latest project.

“Don’t worry,” they said. “We’re not leaving all of this here. At least not this time. We’re going to a party.”

“With paint supplies? What kind of party?”

Have you ever seen flamingos roll their eyes? Sort of like they’re saying, do you not get it? 

So they explained their plans. And actually it sort of made sense. In a flamingo kind of way, of course.

It started with their wine tasting trip a few months ago. They’d had so much fun (and drank so much wine), they’d decided to find more activities to do which involved wine. Why not? They’re flamingos, and they like to party.

So they looked around and found several places that offered wine and paint nights. They called around and found one that could accommodate a group of flamingos 

“They told us if we wanted to, we could bring our own supplies and brushes that would fit our wings easier, so we have everything together. We’re going tonight, and our limo is on its way. Hey, would you like to join us?”

I was sort of tempted, but I explained I’d let them have all their fun this time. “Maybe next time,” I added.

They agreed, and headed out to the limo, ready to have an evening of fun.

The next morning we found several paintings in the foyer, as well as a few wing-painted wine glasses. They’d actually done a really good job!

A few hours later they came in and told us all about the night. They’d obviously had a great time! You could tell from all the paint all over their feathers! Obviously when they’d gotten home they sort of just fell into bed! 

They’d been given a private party room, which is not unusual for such an event. The restaurant set them up with three or four selections of wine and champagne, along with charcuterie boards with cheese, fruit, and shrimp (of course).

They had their choice of painting on canvas or watercolor paper, or selecting a plain wine glass and painting that with their own design. And since the flock couldn’t agree on the same project, the restaurant let them do whatever project they each selected.

Fortunately there were two art instructors there to help them, and the flamingos said the instructors were quite impressed about how well they did, and said they’d love to have them come back and do it again.

“They even asked to keep a few of our paintings for display pieces to show how anyone can do art, even if they aren’t experienced, and even if they’re flamingos!” said one of the birds quite proudly.

“And the next time we go you’re going with us!“ they added. “You and Ben haven’t partied with us for awhile, and it’s time!”

“We shall see,” I answered. “Now go wash the paint off your feathers from last night. You must’ve been really tired when you got home.” They started grumbling a little, and I had to remind them there’d be no going in the pool until they did.!

That was one way to handle those cute but pesky and somewhat hung-over flamingos!

So stay tuned for the next flamingo adventure which certainly sounds like we may get to experience first hand. You just never know what they’re going to do next.

Starting Another New Year

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And once again looking expectantly to starting something new. Maybe becoming someone new. 

We all have that feeling at first, or a part of it. This is going to be a year of changes, a year we accomplish something new, a year of becoming a new person, etc.

All over social media we see the examples, many times in the form of ads for products being pushed on us that are supposed to make that huge change in your life.

Ads for new journals to use to record all the wonderful things you’re going to do. Ads for art and writing classes that will suddenly change your entire life, just by using their product. Ads for cosmetics that will instantly make you look ten or twenty years younger overnight. Ads for products that will teach you a new language, a new skill,  or make you lose weight easily and quickly; all you have to do is buy the product!

So what’s the magic formula that changes December 31, 2022 at 11:59 PM to January 1, 2023 at 12:00 midnight that suddenly makes all your hopes and dreams come true in just a second of time? What causes that transformation from who you were that particular second to the new person you become the next second?

Do you magically feel different, look different, think different, maybe suddenly have everything you ever wanted?

It’s not that easy, is it?

Our expectations are easy to imagine in our minds. But to make them actually happen is another matter. 

Sure, we start out believing that THIS new year is “it”. The year we do this, that or the other thing; the year that we become who we’re destined to be; the year we find that perfect job, that perfect relationship, that perfect thing we’ve been looking for for so long.

We’re expectant. We’re excited. We start new things and vow to continue our new “me” forever. 

And for several weeks we do. But the novelty wears off, and we quickly become tired of trying so hard because we don’t get what we want right away, and by the end of January we’re back to our old selves, wondering why nothing has changed yet.

It happens to all of us at one time or the other. Sometimes over and over.

Because making a change entails a lot more than saying you’re going to do this or that. It involves changing your mindset, the way you think about things.

It involves stepping out of your comfort zone and taking a chance. It involves doing something new, in order to make a change. 

And it also involves sticking with something even when you don’t see the results immediately, like in a few weeks or maybe a month. Because change isn’t instant. You can’t wiggle your nose or snap your fingers and instantly change your life. That’s not how it works.

Yes, the new year is a great time to make promises of things you’re going to do to change your life. But that change will only happen if you make a conscious and conscientious decision to really do it, and not give up and not stop until you reach your goal. 

Change can only come by working toward a goal and continuing, even when you don’t see things happening right away or the way you expect them to.

It took a lot of years to become who your were on December 31. So why do you expect to immediately be someone else on January 1? 

Promising yourself to do something different in this new year is great, but don’t lose sight of that promise on January 2, or 3, or January 20….or the next month or two. You can accomplish your goal, but not without changing your mindset and your way of living.

So try it. What have you got to lose?

Happy New Year to each and every one of you!