Monthly Archives: March 2023

Parents, Hold Your Children Close

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Because you don’t know what tomorrow will bring.

Too many parents have dropped their children off to school one morning, told them to have a good day, and said, “I’ll see you later.”

And they didn’t. Many even forgot to kiss them or tell them they loved them when they said their last goodbye.

Too many parents have gotten in an argument with their kids before they sent them off to school, and actually were relieved they didn’t have to deal with them until later that day.

But later that day they didn’t have the chance to deal with them…and never would again.

Sometimes we take the most precious things in our life for granted. And we don’t realize it.

Until it’s too late.

Today I’m thinking about all the parents whose children were victims of mass shootings. Parents who every day have to face a loss that’s beyond the scope of anything most of us have ever had to deal with.

They surely look back on the times they argued with their kids, yelled at them, and at times probably wish they’d never had them. Which of course they didn’t mean. And regret those thoughts and words for the rest of their lives.

But times change; circumstances change. And when the unimaginable happens, parents’ lives are changed forever, and not for good. They can’t take back things they wished they’d not said. They can’t apologize.

They can only live in the land of regret for the rest of their lives.

No parents are perfect. No children are perfect. But despite the problems and frustrations involved in raising children, they all love each other no matter what.

Families deserve the chance to love each other and grow together. Parents have the right to raise their children into adulthood.

And children have the right to a happy childhood and the right to grow from a child into an adult.

They don’t have the right to have that opportunity stolen from them by someone filled with hate and carrying a gun. Someone whose only motive is to destroy others with no regard for anything else.

Parents, hold your children close. Tell them you love them. Because they are a precious gift like no other you’ll ever have. 

Parents, and grandparents, make your voices heard. It’s time to stop the senseless violence against our children that we’re seeing far too often. It’s time to speak up and demand change.

I do not want to hear about another senseless mass shooting, especially in a school where our children should be safe and not fearful. But unfortunately I probably will.

What is all of this doing to our children? They see the news reports, and worry about the “what if’s”. They shouldn’t have to. Growing up is hard enough without worrying about someone coming in to your school with a gun and trying to shoot you.

Parents, hold your children close and love them for all they’re worth. 

Because their worth is immeasurable.

Enough is enough

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I’ve had it. I’m done. Monday’s actions put me over the edge.

So far this year there have been 129 mass shootings. There have only been 86 days in the year.

I’m over hearing about school shootings. There’s no excuse for this to continue.

How many more parents’ lives will be devastated? How many more families will be destroyed?

How many more young lives will be senselessly lost until we decide to act and DO SOMETHING?!

How many more families will send their children, the most precious beings in the world, to school to learn and be with their friends,  and then a few hours later get that call no parent should ever get? The call that basically ends their world?

As a parent and now a grandparent to three of the most precious human beings in the world, my heart breaks, and aches, and cries out for justice and an end, once and for all,  to this madness.

Our schools are not safe. Doors are left unlocked, and unguarded. Entrances are not guarded or monitored. Guards are not employed. Safety measures are not being taken. Metal detectors are non-existent. Searches of backpacks don’t happen. 

Why? Budgets possibly. Or not wanting to “offend” someone. Not wanting to check out a warning that was given because it wasn’t thought to be credible, and no one wanted to take a chance they’d be wrong.

I’m done with this. I’m appalled. I’m angry. I’m livid. And I’m tired of no one wanting to take the action that’s needed to prevent more of this senseless violence.

The lawmakers don’t want to ban assault weapons because the Constitution gives us the right to have firearms. But it doesn’t say we can’t make laws that make sense.

But they also don’t want to offend the NRA, because they get campaign money from them so they can continue to win elections.

The gun laws we have need to be enforced, and we need to ban assault weapons. Laws do not need to be overlooked because someone might get upset. Or someone might lose their campaign monies.

People….It’s time to make a stand.  It’s time to actually DO SOMETHING to stop this craziness! Our children’s  very lives are at stake. And if you don’t believe me, that’s your problem. Look at the news. Look at what’s happening. Put yourself in other people’s places.

Our children are not only the most precious people in our world, they are the future of our country.

And they deserve to have their chance at that future.

I pray there will be no more incidents. But I’m also a realist. Until something is done, there most likely will be.

For those of you who say we can’t ban these weapons, or tighten gun laws, imagine how you’d feel if one of those children that was murdered were your child or grandchild.

Then tell me how you’d feel. 

I’m thankful my grandchildren are safe right now, and I continue to pray daily for their safety. But we need real action, and laws enacted that will help to prevent future such acts. And enforcement of those laws. It’s up to each of us to make our voices heard. And to speak for those who no longer can, because they’re still crying out and asking “why?”

And I have no answers for them.

Except that the ones that could actually do something did nothing.

To Make That Dream a Reality

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First you have to wake up. No matter how comfortable you’re sleeping.

You have to wake up!

No more living in a “someday I’m going to do that” world.

Someday is now. It’s today. 

I know it’s a lot more comfortable to stay sleeping in your nice comfy bed, where you can just imagine all the great things you’re going to do in the future. But that’s not going to make it happen.

So stop dreaming about what you want to do, because if you don’t wake up and start doing it, it’ll never happen.

If dreams are a wish your heart makes when you’re asleep, what happens when you wake up? Does the dream just disappear, forgotten, until you dream it again?

Isn’t it time to make that dream come true?

Then wake up. Stay awake. Make your bed. And work on that dream!

Another Happy Birthday to the Leader of the Flock

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It’s hard to believe that this particular post was written six years ago. So much has happened since then, and I’ve updated it accordingly, including some new pictures, but one thing remains the same. He’s still the leader if the flock!

Or shall I say the “unofficial” leader of the flock! After all, the real leader of the flamingo flock has to have his very own pink feathers! Feathers that grow on him naturally, that is!

But how many guys can actually claim to be an honorary member of the flock? It takes a special guy to have that honor bestowed upon him.

First of all, he has to like pink. Actually he has to like wearing pink! And that’s one thing he’s never minded. He has pink sweaters, pink shirts, and of course certain pink flamingo tropical shirts! Not to mention the glasses, and the hats, and, well, then there are the lights…..

He has to like shrimp, and of course that’s one of his favorite foods. Fortunately eating them hasn’t turned him pink yet, but you never know…! He could wake up one morning with pink hair! Yes, I’ve threatened this over the years, but never done it….YET

And he has to be a fan of pink wine or pink champagne, or at the least margaritas! And since he does prefer White Zinfandel, which is sort of pink, the flamingos took the opportunity to get some special wine for him for his birthday! Sure hope he likes it!

And since flamingos are quite creative, especially when it comes to decorating and party planning, the leader of the flock needs a bit of a flair for decorating, and, he is known for his talent at decorating the foyer ledge for Christmas and other seasonal events. Plus, the pool parties we used to have every year are renown for not only the food, but the costume contests, the festive decorating, and of course, the extremely talented bartenders! And let’s not forget our beloved Rusty the Golden Retriever Flamingo! Even though he has now crossed over the Rainbow Bridge, I have a feeling he’s having Pink Flamingo Pool Parties with his friends, making new traditions and enjoying a truly fantastic and specially designed flamingo pool just for him!

Flamingo parties were so much fun! and I’ve updated some of the flamingo picture gallery, just because I can!

I think by now we all know who we’re talking about. Who else but our very own Ben, who actually began the flamingo madness at our house and invited those fabulous pink birds to take up permanent residence! In fact, they were invited for the Great Flamingo Fly-In on his 60th birthday, and they just never left! Even after 13 years, (how can it be that long?) they’re still hanging around.

So in honor of his special day, the flamingos decided to have another flamingo birthday party for him. Only the very best for the Leader of the Flock, of course! And don’t feel bad if you didn’t get an invitation, because they only invited him, me, and all of the other flamingos and their friends!

There will be presents galore, we’re sure! All manner of flamingo gifts and gadgets to go with his growing collection (like he needs more)! He can always use more flamingo wine stoppers, wine glasses, and of course an extra set of flamingo dinnerware to use by the pool this summer for those special evenings with his closest flamingo friends who’ll join him for grilled shrimp and margaritas.

And what’s a birthday party without a birthday cake? And for this occasion, they decided to have a birthday cake contest, and they’d select the best five cakes to present to him! Of course, what he doesn’t know is that the flamingos’ way of presenting birthday cakes involves a bit of tossing and smashing, especially when it’s for a really special person! And especially when the flamingos have had an extra glass of wine or two! And the icing just may turn that hair pink!

Which one of these do you think he’d like the best?

So Ben, you’d better be prepared, because when the flamingos are involved, you just never know what will happen!!

And who knows? Maybe this summer we’ll try one more flamingo pool party, and yes, with all three of our grandchildren dressed in flamingo attire, including our newest grandson, Ryan. (Sorry Chris, but for this one day he’ll have to go along with the theme and wear something flamingoish. He’ll only be eight months old by then, and he’ll enjoy it!)

So Happy Birthday to the Leader of the Flock! And a really good sport!

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Mardi Gras – Flamingo Style 2023

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As you certainly know by now, flamingos are extremely social birds. They can’t resist a good party, and the more flamboyant the better! So when they heard about Mardi Gras, well….you can only imagine their reaction. Talk about a party designed with them in mind….!

So they set out to plan their Mardi Gras celebration. Which of course had to be bigger and better than the ones they’d heard about in New Orleans! After all, they have a reputation to maintain for party planning….whether they’d ever been to a Mardi Gras celebration or not.
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They did their research on line with their pink iPads (well actually they borrowed mine since it has a pink cover), and came up with some absolutely perfect Mardi Gras party plans…flamingo style, of course!

And since Mardi Gras parties are filled with glitter and feathers and all manner of gaudy, flashy and flamboyant decor, it was their idea of a perfect party! And they set to work to plan the ultimate Mardi Gras festivity!

The guest list was easy, and the invitations were simple to create! And as with their many other parties, everyone quickly accepted, because they knew the flamingos threw the best parties in town! Then they set to work selecting decorations, planning their menu and their special drinks, hiring a band, and of course, planning the most elaborate costumes and Mardi Gras masks they could design! (With prizes for the best ones, of course!)

Their masks were amazing! Lots of feathers and sequins and glitter. Lots of pink, although there were a few of the traditional colors thrown in as well. They figured a little purple, gold, and green did blend rather nicely with their favorite shades of pink. What do you think of their choices? And which one would you select as the winner?

And then there were the ropes of beads! Lots and lots of them! In a rainbow of colors….not just the traditional colors, but of course lots of pink sparkly beads, many with fun flamingo figurines on them, of course! They even hung some of those necklaces around the house in strategic places as decorations, and on the front door.

The flaminguys had to have top hats to go with their formal attire, of course. Formal attire for a guy flamingo, being a pink bow tie, vest, and cummerbund. With a pink rose pinned to their lapel…in this case, with the roses sprinkled with glitter!

Decorating was easy. It always is for the flamingos, you know; they’re known for their flashy but stylish decorating skills! And since just about anything goes for Mardi Gras, well, they certainly outdid themselves!

With fancy feathered and beaded chair covers, shiny beaded chandeliers, and tables set with flowers and beads, and beaded wine bottles, well, let’s just say the attendees said they’d never seen a Mardi Gras party as spectacular this one!

And the menu…let’s start with the bar, because after all, Marci Gras is known for the amazing libations, along with the amazing creole cuisine and amazing King cakes.

The flamingos were certain to have the most unique, most original libations to be found! Their version of the popular Marci Gras Hurricane was a work of art, with their own special blend of several flavors of rum, passion fruit syrup, lime juice, and of course their own touch of pink fruit juice that they just will not share! Topped off with slices of lime and orange slices, and a couple of maraschino cherries for the final garnish, well let’s say each drink was a work of art, and served in hand-painted (or rather, wing-painted) glasses that were given to each guest as a party souvenir.

And of course, their menu included their favorite shrimp dishes, along with some Cajun crawfish, red beans and rice, and a few surprises they begged us not to reveal. After all, flamingos have to have a few secrets, only to be shared with other flamingos.

commdiginnews-comTheir grand dessert finale was the traditional King Cake….flamingo style. Traditionally the King Cake is a round cake confection decorated with sugared icing in the Mardi Gras colors of green, gold, and purple. The cake itself may be colored as well, or it may contain apple, cream cheese, or other fillings. It usually contains a small figurine of the Baby Jesus, although today the figurines can be any number of different items. But only one, because tradition says that whoever gets the figurine in their slice provides the cake for next year’s party.

Naturally the flamingos just weren’t satisfied with the traditional one layer cake, so they contacted their favorite flamingo cake artist, and he was able to provide several beautifully decorated cakes (as well as some special Mardi Gras cookies) for the event. And what was baked inside each one? Why a plastic flamingo statuette! What else?!

It wouldn’t be a Mardi Gras party without some New Orleans jazz, though, and let’s just say this…if you’ve never heard the amazing King Creole Funky Flamingo Five, you haven’t heard jazz! Flamingo style, of course!

With Fancy Catfish Fred on trumpet (he’s the one wearing the sequined catfish on his derby hat!). Long Tall Louie on trombone, with his hanging flamingo charms clipped on his trombone slide. Saucy Shrimpy Sal on saxophone, a legend for the amount of shrimp he can consume at one meal (and we hear he’s been known to stash a few shrimp in the bell of his sax, just in case he needs a snack while performing!).

Then there’s Fletch “The Stretch” on sousaphone, who’s known for his ability to stretch some of the most amazing melodies out of that instrument! Watching Fletch perform is always a treat!

Last but certainly not least, we have Lester “Skinny Legs” Lawrence the Liberace of the snare drum, famous for his flowing multi-colored feathered robes!

And they used the occasion to introduce their newest members, Marvelous Matilda and her twin sister Amazing Miss Mavis. Matilda is a delightfully talented flamingo keyboard artist extraordinaire whose feathertips can tickle those keys like no other! And Miss Mavis’ vocal talents are truly amazing! Guess they’ll have to change the name of the band, since they now have seven members!

2017-02-25-09-51-56Unfortunately they wouldn’t allow photos of their performance, as they’re in the process of negotiating a major recording contract, and they want their publicity photos to be released at the time of their first album! What can we say….?

But we did get sneak a picture of Marvelous Matilda…or was it Mavis….? You just can’t tell them apart, especially in costume!

Yes, the flamingos’ Mardi Gras party was a huge success! Did you expect anything less? And imagine our surprise when we came home the next morning (they did ask us to attend, since they were using our house – again – but we decided it would be much more fun for them to just have their flamingo friends at this particular bash!) and found several flamingos we’d never met sound asleep on our floor! It must’ve been a heck of a party!

And I’m sure they’re hard at work planning their next event….! Stay tuned!

Disclaimer: All content posted here is assumed to be in the public domain. If you find one of your images here and wish it to be removed please contact me.

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Conditional Love

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Yes, you read that correctly. I’m not talking about unconditional love. You know, the kind parents have for their children; or the love they’re supposed to have for their children.

The unconditional love we have for family, whether we agree with them or not, is what family has for one another. Or it’s what we’re supposed to have.

It’s not always easy. I daresay there are a lot of people who say they love their family, but they don’t like them. They don’t like their political or social views. They don’t like something they’ve said or done in the past. 

But most often, if someone asks about that family member they’ll say they love them, but they don’t really see them any more because they’ve had a “falling out” and they’re waiting for the other side to apologize. Which isn’t likely.

But then there are other times when family members decide they want nothing to do with other family members, simply because they won’t do what they want them to do. And because of that, they cut them off, refuse to see them or talk to them, because they won’t do what they want.

We’re talking adults here, not children. And we’re talking especially about parents and their children. Parents who try to control their children long after they’re grown, many times with children of their own, simply because they want them to do what they want, in return for their version of love.

That is not love. That’s control. And it does nothing but destroy family relationships. Parents insisting that their children, or grandchildren for that matter, do what they say or else, instills feelings of abandonment, resentment, loss of self esteem, or the inability to form lasting relationships with others. 

Why should they care about others, or why should others care about them, because if they do something wrong, something the other person doesn’t like, then that person or persons will discard them like a useless pile of trash.

That is what we call conditional love. “I love you as long as you go by my rules; if you don’t, then I don’t want you.”

And that is so far from love, I don’t even have words to describe it.

I’ve seen it in a number of natural or dating relationships in which one person attempts to force the other to do what they want, regardless of their partner’s feelings. That’s bad, and it’s a form of emotional abuse. Which no one should ever have to put up with.

But what about when it’s a parent or grandparent who acts that way to their children or grandchildren? That even worse. Parents and grandparents are supposed to love their children and grandchildren whether they agree with their decisions or not. They can give advice to those who are older, but making their love or acceptance contingent on doing certain things isn’t love.

It’s control, or conditional love, which can be taken away as quickly as it’s given. And it’s not healthy for either side of the spectrum.

I’ve seen this far too often in family relationships. And almost always it results in broken families, broken relationships, and children, cousins, nieces and nephews, or grandchildren being estranged or emotionally damaged because of no fault of their own.

Parents, grandparents, and other family members, this message is for you. If you’re doing this, stop

It. Look at it from the other point of view. How would you like to be treated that way? Or even more, if you were treated that way, how did it make you feel? 

And if you are honest with yourself in admitting such actions made you feel bad about yourself, why are you doing this same thing to people you’re supposed to love? Why are you continuing the cycle of emotional abuse?

Conditional love isn’t love. It’s control; a way of making you feel important by making others feel unimportant. And it gets you nowhere.

Parents, love your children. Treat them with respect and love. Guide them but teach them to make their own decisions. So they’ll be able to teach their children the same things.

Unconditional love is the key to those relationships. You cannot put a price tag on love. 

It’s not conditional.

Life Rules

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If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it. In fact, you’ll never even have a chance, because nothing is ever handed to you on a silver platter. No one is ever going to come up to you and say “You look like you deserve this……” and just give you something for nothing.

If you don’t ask, the answer will always be “no”. And you’ll forever wonder why you never get what you want. 

If you don’t step forward, you’ll always stay in the same place. And everyone else will end up in front of you. Because they stepped forward to accomplish what they wanted. 

If you always keep imagining yourself in another place, another job, another relationship, but you don’t do anything  to make it happen, it never will. Good things do come to those who wait, but you have to do your part to make them happen.

If you don’t follow these rules, you’re most likely going to miss out on what you’re waiting for.

So what are you waiting for?

Are You Leading By Example…or Something Else?

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Intimidation

Fear

Unforgiveness

Threats

Judgment

Condemnation

Ostracism

Self righteousness

Arrogance

Bragging

Controlling

Don’t do as I do…Do as I say

All of these behaviors do nothing to build someone up, to make them want to be a better person. Instead of leading by example, you’re making people feel worthless, incompetent, and destroying whatever self confidence they once had.

All because YOU want to be seen as a power figure, someone important. Someone who knows so much more than anyone else.

And why is that? Could it be that you’re really not all the confident and self assured? That you don’t want anyone to know you don’t have all the answers? That someone else may actually have a better solution for a problem than you?

Why do you always have to be right? Why do you always have to have the final word?

A true leader doesn’t need to resort to the tactics I mentioned in the beginning of this post. A true leader leads from strength, concern for others, and by listening to those around them, and letting others speak what they feel without fear of reprisal.

A true leader is respected, not feared. They don’t try to bully others into doing what they want.

And this is true in your personal relationships as well as business situations. While there should never be a “leader” in a relationship, since a relationship is a partnership, neither partner should try to make the other do something using any of the methods listed above.

Look at yourself closely. Are you using any of the negative tactics mentioned above? And if you are, don’t you think it’s time for some self-evaluation?

If You Don’t…

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If you don’t call me, I’ll understand…

If you don’t text me, I’ll understand…

If you don’t acknowledge me when you walk by, I’ll understand…

If you don’t respond to my invitation, I’ll understand…

If you ignore me in a restaurant, I’ll understand…

And if I forget about you, you’ll understand.

Because obviously I wasn’t important to you in the first place.

So why did I bother?

Stop Beating Yourself Up

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You are a work in progress. We all are.

Which means you get there a little at a time. Not all at once.

Others may get there ahead of you. And it’s not because you’re not good enough, or not trying hard enough. It just may not quite be your time.

The others that get there before you may actually not be ready to be there. They may have taken a few shortcuts, stepped over others, in order to get there. And as a result, they won’t be successful there because they aren’t truly ready.

You’ve probably heard the saying that “slow and steady wins the race.” Think about that.

You’ll get there as long as you kept trying. One step at a time. Patience. Another step.

A work in progress isn’t finished in a shortened time span. It takes the time it takes. 

Hurrying something along only makes it take longer to complete.

And when that work in progress is completed, you’ll realize it was as all worth it.

Don’t Make A Permanent Decision…

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….based on a temporary emotion.

It never turns out good.

And you’ll find yourself suddenly living in the land of regret.

Sure, you may be devastated because your significant other just broke up with you, but that doesn’t mean you have to quit your job and move to another town where you don’t know anyone and start over because you’re afraid people will talk about you. 

You may be angry at your employer, angry enough to quit your job to “show them how much you’re” needed”, but all that does is make you unemployed with no immediate job prospects and no hope of a good reference from that former employer.

Or you may be upset because of the way you thought one of your friends was treating you and decide to tell them exactly how little you think of them. Only a day or two later you discover you were wrong, and lost several of your other friends because of your actions.

Uncomfortable or life-altering situations occur in our lives more often than we’d like. And our first reaction to such situations is often anger or in some cases devastating heartbreak, as in the loss of a close loved one. At those times we’re not thinking rationally, and our thought processes are turned upside down. 

We’re not able to totally comprehend the gravity of what may have just happened, let alone think clearly enough to make permanent decisions based on what happened. Because the next few days may start to clarify things that will enable you to make more rational decisions. 

We’ve all heard stories such as this, like the woman who thought she’d caught her husband cheating, and went home and destroyed all of his clothes, his important papers, and told his employer what she’d supposedly “discovered”. Only to find out the woman she’d seen him with was a travel agent helping him book a surprise vacation for their anniversary.

Farfetched? Not really. Most of us have been in or heard of similar instances. 

Our emotions can easily get the best of us when we’re angry, stressed, or facing a difficult situation in which we can’t see a way out. Making permanent decisions when we’re in that frame of mind are a recipe for total disaster. And if you sign your name on the dotted line, there’s usually no turning back.

The lesson here? Don’t make major, permanent decisions until you really think them through. A day or even better, a week or two, will give you a cooling down period in which you can determine the best way to handle your particular situation. 

Because if you don’t, you’re most likely going to regret it.