In our household, when one of us gets an early morning text, it’s either about an interesting news article, a funny story, a cute thing one of the grandkids did, or something we probably don’t want to know about.

In our case, it usually starts with “guess what!” And goes downhill from there. With usually something that we aren’t expecting and really don’t want to know.

And when you answer such a question with “what?”, you usually don’t really want to hear the answer, and it seems to take forever to get it anyway. Which was the case Monday morning just two days ago.

l didn’t expect to hear Ben reply with  “My pacemaker alarm went off!”

Which as far as we knew then, meant we had 30 days to get it replaced. So he texted his cardiologist, and then called the doctors’ offices and the pacemaker department. 

You can imagine how we both felt at that point. After all, the pacemaker is basically keeping him alive.

Fortunately we’ve since found out we have 90 days to get it replaced, which would be sometime in March. But does it make me feel better? I guess. But there’s still that bit of worry in the back of your mind…what if…?

Now of course, we were making a few jokes about it, because if you can’t find something to laugh about, you’ll end up crying or driving yourself crazy. 

One of my friends said all the hassle and stress of trying to get his blood sugar under control probably sped up the process. Hmmm, could be right on that one.

I said it was probably the stress of watching the Kansas City Chiefs game the night before! Which was quite stressful for us Chiefs fans! And will probably be equally as stressful when they play the Baltimore Ravens on Sunday.

But regardless of why the battery life turned out to be a little less than the estimated 5 years, we now know it will shortly be replaced with a brand new pacemaker rather than just a battery. I guess it’s like a trade in?

And what happens to the old one? Do we keep it as a souvenir? A paperweight? Does it get recycled?

But thinking about all of this…I have to say it really makes you stop and think about the true ramifications of all this. 

Ben needs the pacemaker to keep his heart in a normal rhythm. It also serves as a defibrillator. It helps keep his heart beating process which keeps him alive. 

As long as it’s working. Now we trust his doctor completely, and I know he’ll make sure it’s replaced in a timely manner.  But I can’t help but think about the what if’s. It’s natural, of course, especially with everything Ben has been through over the years, and particularly the last two months.

But he’s a survivor, and he’s proved that a number of times. And he’ll continue to do so.

But it was still a bit unnerving when the pacemaker alarm went off again on Tuesday. 

And again this morning as I was posting this blog.

It’s a countdown we don’t need to be reminded of.