Category Archives: Encouraging Thoughts

Every so often we get discouraged. We all do; it’s part of life. And when that happens, sometimes we just need a word or two of encouragement, sort of like a jump start, to get us going; to make us realize that we can do what we set out to do. So try some of these.

A Gift of Sight, Part Two

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As I said in A Gift of Sight, Part One, for most of us, our eyesight is something we take for granted. We open our eyes in the morning and see our bedroom, our alarm clock or phone, the sun streaming into our windows.

We may see our pets curled up beside us, or our spouse who’s beginning to awaken as well. We really don’t think that much about it because we’re used to our world of sight, our comfortable surroundings; things looking the same every day.

Until one day it doesn’t. Until our vision starts to gradually fade, blur, become fuzzy or dim. We don’t really notice it right away, because it’s a gradual process.

But then comes a day when someone comments on something they’re looking at, and you realize you don’t see it quite the same as they do. Or quite the same as you used to.

Now imagine being told that you have an eye disease that’s incurable. That’s not a pleasant thought. You may start thinking about what might or will happen eventually. And it’s scary.

Part One described the events leading up to my husband Ben’s eye surgery. But let me explain the reality of that surgery.

Cataract surgery by itself is easy. The recovery time is quick, even though you are limited to not lifting anything heavier than 20 lbs for a few weeks, doing nothing that could cause getting debris in your eye such as gardening or going in the pool or a hot tub, and using a series of eye drops every day for about 4 weeks.

But you can see well out of your surgical eye right away, or at best, the next day. However a combination of cataract surgery AND a cornea transplant along with a stint for drainage entails other issues, a few of which we didn’t expect.

We knew he had to lay flat on his back for 48 hours, which I will tell you is not easy. Or fun. He doesn’t like to read anything but his newspaper and of course he couldn’t even do that. He tried audio books but couldn’t find any he really liked. He found a few comedy podcasts to listen to, but that really didn’t do it either.

He could get up for 15 minutes every 4 hours to eat or take meds or use the bathroom. Other than that he was flat on his back. Laying on our bed was miserable and hurt his back so he ended up on the sofa downstairs which he said was more comfortable.

But he wasn’t able to sleep well, even with sleep aids, so he was exhausted.

Why flat on his back? Because with a cornea replacement an air bubble is inserted into the eye to help hold the graft material in place. The air bubble dissipates over a few days but it’s extremely important for the bubble to stay in place so the graft will heal properly. Which means not moving around or standing because gravity has a way of trying to move that bubble where it’s not supposed to be.

We went back for a post-op visit the next day after surgery. I drove of course with him lying down on the reclined front seat. Certainly not a comfortable position. While the eye looked good for the first day after surgery, the pressure in it was too high, and they had to give him more eye drops as well as a pill to hopefully reduce some of the pressure while we were there. If that didn’t work they would have to drain the eye somewhat, which I didn’t even want to think about.

Fortunately the meds helped, and his pressure went down enough so we could go back home and get him on his back again. And another night of sleeping on the sofa on his back. And another night of not sleeping well.

The next morning he did follow his instructions and waited (but not patiently) til 11:45 to get up since that was a full 48 hours. His eye was still blurry with a shadow in it, which was normal, but still not what we’d expected. He had a lot of trouble trying to read so we bought him the strongest pair of reading glasses they make, which fortunately allowed him to read the newspaper, albeit a little at a time. But that did make him quite happy!

The next visit on Monday fortunately found the pressure lowered down to the teens! He was still restricted from driving so it meant another week at home and him not working. And did I mention he drives as a courier for a bank?

His vision slowly, and I mean slowly, improved daily, and the Thursday post-op visit found his pressure down to 10 in both eyes, which was fantastic news! His doctor was very pleased!

His vision was still somewhat hazy, though. However he ventured out on Friday to try driving and actually did ok. Enough for us to go out for a quick dinner that night to a restaurant not far from the house.

The next two days we went out shopping for flowers and plants for the yard, and he did well driving. In fact his biggest problem was not being able to lift any of the heavier plants into the cart or into the back of the car like he usually does. I had to stop him several times. 

Then Monday morning came, and it was the first day for him back to work. He was a bit nervous because his courier route takes him on a number of back roads in the area, with narrow shoulders as well as narrow roads. But he did fine, although he drove a bit slower than usual, and his vision is still not quite what we expected, although it’s legal vision for driving, but every day it gets a little better. And when it’s time he can get new glasses, and this will all be but a memory. 

We’re thankful, yes, for the doctors and nurses, and most importantly for the donor who made the transplant possible.

Take good care of your eyes, because you don’t want to have to rely on the gift of a second chance to see. Sometimes things happen, and if it does, get to a doctor right away. And if your eye doctor tells you you need to do something to improve your vision, listen to them. You’ll be forever glad you did.

And please, if you’re not already an organ donor, please consider it. For more information on becoming an organ/tissue donor, please go to organdonor.gov. 

A Gift of Sight, Part One

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For the majority of us, the first thing we do when we wake up in the morning is open our eyes and look at our clock or phone to see what time it is. A simple thing, right?

But for many people it’s not that simple. Some can’t read the time without their glasses or contacts. Some can’t read it because of eye diseases…cataracts, glaucoma, macular degeneration.

Some can see but not very well due to those eye diseases, and may be considered legally blind. And some are unfortunately totally blind.

Those of us with minimal or no problems don’t stop to consider how truly fortunate we are to have the ability to see, either with or without the assistance of glasses or contact lenses. We usually take it for granted. 

Until something happens to change our situation.

In my case, a change in my vision started gradually. Which happens to almost everyone as we grow older. It got harder and harder to see my computer screen clearly and working on my jewelry projects was very difficult unless I took my contacts out and used reading glasses to see the holes in the beads because of my astigmatism.

Even though my eye doctor is fantastic, I was still scared to have the surgery and kept putting it off for several years.

Until my husband was diagnosed with glaucoma in both eyes.

Which forced me to have the cataract surgery, which was, yes, the best thing I’ve done in ages. 

But this isn’t about me.

It’s about my husband Ben.

Some 25 or so years ago he was on a business trip and woke up in a hotel room four hours from home with his left eye red and extremely swollen and sore. He said it looked like something in a horror movie. 

Fortunately he found a local eye doctor who was able to get it calmed down enough with eye drops so he could see well enough to drive home. He told him to get to an eye specialist as soon as possible because it looked like something called iritis, which could be serious if not treated properly. Luckily he did find a specialist when he got home and was able to get in to see him quickly.

And it was iritis, which is an inflammation of the iris. And according to the doctor, a bad case. So bad, in fact, that he had to have an injection in his eye to help calm it down. 

Iritis is something that cannot be cured. It is an autoimmune disease that in many cases is caused by the chicken pox virus, which is most likely what caused his. And it can also cause problems with vision, which of course it did.

His was a stubborn case, naturally, and over the course of several years he had to have two more injections in the eye. He’s been on daily steroid eye drops which eventually also cause vision problems, and a number of years ago he was put on a daily pill to hopefully help reduce flare ups. So far it has, but not before the eye damage was already done.

The steroid drops caused a cataract and surgery to remove the cataract was done probably at least 15 years ago in the left eye.

But as time went by, and even though the flare ups lessened, the eye damage continued, until he was told he needed a partial cornea transplant to save his eyesight in that eye. You can read more about this in the blog I wrote titled “The Expense of a Second Chance”.

That surgery was fortunately a success. 

That was almost ten years ago. 

Fast forward to now. 

As I said previously, Ben was diagnosed with glaucoma in both eyes last summer. Fortunately he has an excellent glaucoma specialist who’s doing everything he can to keep his sight from getting worse, using a number of eye drops to reduce the pressure. Of course he’s monitored frequently.

But his vision was slowly getting worse in his right eye. The pressure didn’t want to stabilize and he began having issues driving at night and especially in the rain. His peripheral vision on the right side wasn’t good either. And he also was having fuzzy vision in that eye from a cataract.

So both his glaucoma specialist and his cataract specialist recommended that along with the cataract removal he also needed a partial cornea replacement in his right eye, because the glaucoma was making the cornea thicken too much. Both procedures would be done at the same time. But before that he needed laser surgery in each eye to prepare for this next surgery.

Yes, that was a lot to take in. A lot to consider. And trust me, we had several discussions with both doctors, and among the two of us.

And there were a lot of “what if’s?” In those discussions. What happens if we don’t do it? And we knew the answer to that. Everything we do revolves around our ability to see, and see as clearly as possible.

The bottom line is, our eyesight is vital. And it’s a gift that many people don’t have. We take for granted that we can see and don’t really think about it until something starts to go wrong.

And then our whole perspective changes.

And in order for this procedure to take place, he had to have a cornea donor. Which meant someone had to die and give him the gift of their eye tissue. If you’ve read the previous blog I referenced you know how that affected my thoughts.

But he did have the surgery. And we are truly grateful for the person who cared enough about other people to decide to be an organ donor so others could have lifesaving or vision saving surgeries that were desperately needed.

The surgery was easy but recovery from the transplant surgery took longer than just cataract surgery, which basically takes a day.

More on that recovery process in “The Gift of Sight, Part Two”, hopefully to be published the week of May 8.

And for more information on becoming an organ/tissue donor, please go to organdonor.gov. Both Ben and I have been included in the registry for years.

To Make That Dream a Reality

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First you have to wake up. No matter how comfortable you’re sleeping.

You have to wake up!

No more living in a “someday I’m going to do that” world.

Someday is now. It’s today. 

I know it’s a lot more comfortable to stay sleeping in your nice comfy bed, where you can just imagine all the great things you’re going to do in the future. But that’s not going to make it happen.

So stop dreaming about what you want to do, because if you don’t wake up and start doing it, it’ll never happen.

If dreams are a wish your heart makes when you’re asleep, what happens when you wake up? Does the dream just disappear, forgotten, until you dream it again?

Isn’t it time to make that dream come true?

Then wake up. Stay awake. Make your bed. And work on that dream!

Life Rules

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If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it. In fact, you’ll never even have a chance, because nothing is ever handed to you on a silver platter. No one is ever going to come up to you and say “You look like you deserve this……” and just give you something for nothing.

If you don’t ask, the answer will always be “no”. And you’ll forever wonder why you never get what you want. 

If you don’t step forward, you’ll always stay in the same place. And everyone else will end up in front of you. Because they stepped forward to accomplish what they wanted. 

If you always keep imagining yourself in another place, another job, another relationship, but you don’t do anything  to make it happen, it never will. Good things do come to those who wait, but you have to do your part to make them happen.

If you don’t follow these rules, you’re most likely going to miss out on what you’re waiting for.

So what are you waiting for?

If You Don’t…

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If you don’t call me, I’ll understand…

If you don’t text me, I’ll understand…

If you don’t acknowledge me when you walk by, I’ll understand…

If you don’t respond to my invitation, I’ll understand…

If you ignore me in a restaurant, I’ll understand…

And if I forget about you, you’ll understand.

Because obviously I wasn’t important to you in the first place.

So why did I bother?

Stop Beating Yourself Up

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You are a work in progress. We all are.

Which means you get there a little at a time. Not all at once.

Others may get there ahead of you. And it’s not because you’re not good enough, or not trying hard enough. It just may not quite be your time.

The others that get there before you may actually not be ready to be there. They may have taken a few shortcuts, stepped over others, in order to get there. And as a result, they won’t be successful there because they aren’t truly ready.

You’ve probably heard the saying that “slow and steady wins the race.” Think about that.

You’ll get there as long as you kept trying. One step at a time. Patience. Another step.

A work in progress isn’t finished in a shortened time span. It takes the time it takes. 

Hurrying something along only makes it take longer to complete.

And when that work in progress is completed, you’ll realize it was as all worth it.

Don’t Make A Permanent Decision…

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….based on a temporary emotion.

It never turns out good.

And you’ll find yourself suddenly living in the land of regret.

Sure, you may be devastated because your significant other just broke up with you, but that doesn’t mean you have to quit your job and move to another town where you don’t know anyone and start over because you’re afraid people will talk about you. 

You may be angry at your employer, angry enough to quit your job to “show them how much you’re” needed”, but all that does is make you unemployed with no immediate job prospects and no hope of a good reference from that former employer.

Or you may be upset because of the way you thought one of your friends was treating you and decide to tell them exactly how little you think of them. Only a day or two later you discover you were wrong, and lost several of your other friends because of your actions.

Uncomfortable or life-altering situations occur in our lives more often than we’d like. And our first reaction to such situations is often anger or in some cases devastating heartbreak, as in the loss of a close loved one. At those times we’re not thinking rationally, and our thought processes are turned upside down. 

We’re not able to totally comprehend the gravity of what may have just happened, let alone think clearly enough to make permanent decisions based on what happened. Because the next few days may start to clarify things that will enable you to make more rational decisions. 

We’ve all heard stories such as this, like the woman who thought she’d caught her husband cheating, and went home and destroyed all of his clothes, his important papers, and told his employer what she’d supposedly “discovered”. Only to find out the woman she’d seen him with was a travel agent helping him book a surprise vacation for their anniversary.

Farfetched? Not really. Most of us have been in or heard of similar instances. 

Our emotions can easily get the best of us when we’re angry, stressed, or facing a difficult situation in which we can’t see a way out. Making permanent decisions when we’re in that frame of mind are a recipe for total disaster. And if you sign your name on the dotted line, there’s usually no turning back.

The lesson here? Don’t make major, permanent decisions until you really think them through. A day or even better, a week or two, will give you a cooling down period in which you can determine the best way to handle your particular situation. 

Because if you don’t, you’re most likely going to regret it.

No One Ever Injured Their Eyesight

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By looking on the bright side of things.

And if you’re trying to look at things in the dark, you’re not going to see clearly unless you turn on the lights.

If you’re always trying to find the worst in a situation or somebody, you’re going to overlook the best part because you’re trying not to see it.

If you’re going around thinking that something bad is going to happen at any time, it probably will, because you’re too busy looking for the bad and ignoring the good.

Nobody ever injured their eyesight by looking on the bright side of things. 

Everyone Is a Writer

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No, you say. Not me. I couldn’t do that. I have no talent.

Or, why would I do that? I don’t like reading.

Or, I have no time to write. No desire.

But think about this. You are actually in effect writing. Because you’re writing your own story as you’re living your life.

It’s up to you to determine how the story goes. 

Yes, there are always other people in your story who come along and complicate things, but you’re the main character, the one who deals with the complications and puts things back together. Or changes things for the better.

What chapter are you starting today?

You Can Always Make Time

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For the things you want to make time for.

You say you’re too busy and don’t have time to call or even text a friend? When you promise you would?

Must not really be that good of a friend. Or you’re not that good of a friend. And I’ve sure found that out.

We make time for things we really want to do and for people we care for. We don’t make promises and forget about them.

Saying you can’t find the time to do something really means it’s not really that important to you. Sure, there are days we really are overwhelmed with a “to do” list that doesn’t seem to end, but we still can make time tomorrow to do what we really need to do.

Before it’s too late.

Overcoming the Victim Mentality

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He did this to me.”

“She said that about me.”

“I was being bullied because someone said something that I don’t agree with and I didn’t like it. They’re making me feel like they hate me.”

“He told me I’m fat and ugly and don’t deserve to have anything nice.”

“Everyone picks on me. No one understands what I’m going through. They don’t get it. I’m always being picked on.”

“He/she deserted me for someone else and now nothing’s going right. It’s not fair.”

“Whatever I do or say, someone always tells me I don’t know what I’m talking about and makes me feel bad about myself. They’re always picking on me.”

Do these statements sound familiar? 

Does someone you know say such things all the time? Or do you find yourself saying them?

What do these statements all have in common?

They’re what you use to make yourself the victim in everything that goes wrong in your life. Because it’s easier to blame someone else for everything than looking at yourself and asking why all this seems to be happening.

Maybe you’re the type of person who just can’t be happy unless there’s something to complain about.

Maybe it’s easier to explain away all your unhappiness because it’s someone else’s fault. 

But when you keep repeating the same reasons over and over in every unhappy situation there’s a problem.

It’s your victim mentality. Because it’s easier to blame someone else rather than look inside yourself and try to figure out why this same situation happens time after time.

Maybe you don’t know any other way to be. And maybe keeping that victim mentality in its strange way makes you happy. Because it’s easier to keep complaining than move out of your comfort zone. 

There’s always an excuse. But what you don’t realize is, you’re the excuse, because you’re always playing the victim.

And if you don’t stop, you’ll never be the conqueror.

And isn’t it time for you to be a conqueror rather than a victim?

You Don’t Want to Be Like Anyone Else

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You just want to be you. Because that’s who you are. There’s only one you.

Only one person in the world exactly like you. Others may look a bit like you, like a lot of the same things you do, even dress similarly. But there are still differences.

Even identical twins have slight differences. And sometimes only they can know the differences. But they’re still there.

You’re unique. You are wonderfully and perfectly made to be exactly who you are.

So instead of wanting to be like someone else, cherish your uniqueness.

Because there’s someone out there who wants to be like you!