Reflections on the Season

Posted on November 27, 2024 by Deborah Newell

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted on here. Several months, in fact. I just didn’t feel like it. I was in a drought of creativity as far as writing, and there were times I never thought I’d pick it up again.

But today, as I look towards tomorrow and Thanksgiving, as well as the beginning of the Christmas season, I find myself looking at certain things in a whole new light.

And I find myself looking backwards once again to times that were, and family celebrations that I miss so much.

Many years ago, our family celebrated Thanksgiving together at my mother’s house. Her two sisters and their husbands would come, along with my cousins. Everyone brought a dish or two, and we all celebrated a special time of love and fellowship, enjoying just being together, as well as a bounty of homemade foods. There were no arguments, but there was a lot of laughter, and a lot of love.

As the years progressed, certain family members were no longer with us, while new members joined us, a result of marriages, children, and grandchildren. It was such a special time each year to celebrate together.

But as the years wore on, times changed. The family dynamics changed, with each family segment beginning to go their own separate ways and starting their own unique family Thanksgiving traditions.

As for my side of the family, it became my mom and my husband and daughter celebrating together. When she left us, for several years we celebrated with friends and their families. But it really wasn’t the same. And I so missed that.

But now let’s fast forward to today. A lot has changed in those 18 years since we lost my mother. And seriously, how can it be eighteen years? But lives go in circles. Young children grow up and start their own families, and their own traditions.

Tomorrow we will celebrate Thanksgiving together as a family of seven. Our daughter is now married and she and her husband are the proud parents of two daughters and an almost two year old son. We are so very proud of them, but I also cannot help but look back and wish that my mom and dad, and her sisters and brothers and their spouses could be with us as well, and know our special family. And that our grandchildren could have had the chance to meet the family that came before them.

Yes, I’m feeling nostalgic, like I do every year at this time. And I’m sure so many of you feel that way as well. We all look back, especially at holidays, and wish so much that our loved ones who have gone before us could have just a few hours back here with us to see where we are now and meet the newest members of our family.

There will always be empty chairs at our Thanksgiving table for our loved ones, even though those chairs are not physically present. But they exist in our minds, and if we look really close, and close our eyes, we can see them sitting with us, enjoying conversations as well as a delicious dinner. We can see and feel the love surrounding us all. And in those few moments our families are reunited, if only in our minds, in truly magical ways.

It’s the joy and the sentiment we encounter every year at this time. And we must be careful to take the time to enjoy and savor every moment, because next year won’t be the same, nor the year after that, and the years after that.

It’s all right to be a bit sad at this time of year as we remember those who are no longer physically with us, just as it’s all right to celebrate those who have joined us, not to take the place of, but to become a new part of, the family traditions that we embrace each year.

My wish to each and every one of you is to have a happy and joyous Thanksgiving day, to appreciate the blessings you have, and to put aside any disagreements for this time together, and to just spend that time loving each other’s company while you’re still able to do it. Because we don’t know what the tomorrows that follow will bring.

Every Day Is….

Posted on April 15, 2024 by Deborah Newell

A fresh page of your own book with nothing written on it yet.

And it’s up to you to decide what is written on that next page.

Some days you may want to stay on that page forever.

And some days you’re ready to turn the page to the next day and try again…before the day is even half over.

Sometimes you’re lucky enough to find someone who’ll help write those pages with you, even if it’s only for a short time.

Sometimes you find someone who’s ready to help you write those pages for a long time…maybe even write some of them for you as a surprise.

What was the page you wrote yesterday? You know it’s not going to be the same as yesterday. There are always differences, sometimes dramatic, and sometimes subtle.

Combine all of those pages…and what a book of your life you’ll end up with!

Amazing characters…adventure after adventure…easy times, hard times.

And the best part? The story doesn’t end, because there’s always a new blank page the next day, ready to be filled!

What will you fill your page with today?

If I See a Picture in my Mind…

Posted on March 15, 2024 by Deborah Newell

Why can’t I draw/paint it? After all, it’s there in front of my eyes. I can see it. Clearly.

So what’s keeping me from taking a pen or pencil and sketching it on a piece of paper? What’s keeping my from painting it in the beautiful colors I see in my mind’s eye?

If it’s there where I can see it, why can’t I capture it so others can see it?

What’s stopping me? Actually it’s the fear that I can’t do it. My fear that it won’t be perfect. That it won’t look right. That it won’t be like what I see in my mind, because I keep telling myself I can’t do it.

What? Because I want it to be perfect as soon as I start. And that just isn’t going to happen. Because each of us has to start at the beginning of something…practice…keep at it; until we get to a point where we can say we’re pleased with what we created.

Like most of us, I don’t want to start out at the beginning and make mistake after mistake until I get it right. I want to be able to do it perfectly the first time.

And how many of us can say that we did that? I daresay not many.

I know how to sew. I used to make most of my clothes a very long time ago. But I didn’t start out making tailored suits and such; I started out with aprons and simple skirts before I learned how to do the more complicated things.

I play the piano. Not a lot any more, although I’m starting to get back into it. When I first began, I could only play a few scales. I took weekly lessons and to practice daily. I had to learn how to read music, work at it, and that took time, and patience. I actually was very good at one time, and will be again, as long as I take the time to work at it again.

So why am I so frustrated when I try to do something else creative and I don’t do it right the first time?

Most likely because the older I get, the less patience I have. I want to do it NOW, and not take the time to learn how to really make the most of the talents I have. I think I can draw and paint, but like the new music student I used to be, I couldn’t sit down that first day and play an entire song. I had to take my time and learn. And it didn’t happen overnight.

And now, although I have the desire, I finally realize I can’t just sit down and create a beautiful work of art without putting in the time it takes to learn how to do it.

So what do you think? Is there something you want to do but don’t think you can? Try it. The only thing stopping you is yourself.

Now I know I wrote about this last year, and I still haven’t really started my project. At least not like I wanted to. But I did try it, and finally finished my first piece. And yes, it’s a flamingo. And like my usual perfectionist self, I’m not totally happy with it.

But the thing is…I actually did it! It’s not great, but not what I thought it would be.

But it’s a start.

So now I’m going to stop beating myself up and resolve to learn to draw and paint the right way. I bought a couple of books, and THIS time I’m going to actually do all the exercises in them and practice my skills before I try another painting.

At least that’s my plan. I may not ever sell a painting, but if I practice, and try it, and work at it, at least maybe I’ll create something frame worthy. For myself, if no one else.

And that’s what counts. So here I go….

Next time I write about my painting, I’m going to include a few pictures.

And hopefully in a few weeks!

Reflections on Another Generation

Posted on March 11, 2024 by Deborah Newell

We recently attended the celebration of life service for my almost 98 year old aunt. She was the youngest sibling of my mom and her sisters and brothers, born almost 14 years after my mother, who left this life 17 years ago.

Back in “those days”, in the 1920’s, having a baby that late in life was embarrassing and almost unheard of. My mom was told her baby sister was found in the cabbage space, and my mom, who was about 13 at the time, went out to the fields and looked to see if she could find another baby.

My aunt was born in the 1920’s. Her parents, my grandparents, didn’t even have electricity at the time, although they got it a few years later. They did have indoor plumbing, but still had an outhouse that we grandchildren who were born in the 50’s, did use on occasion.

My grandparents had a phone. They were one of the first families in the area who did. It was in the wall, and when it rang, the family members had to figure out whether it was for them, or other families because there were party lines and several families were on the same line, but had different rings for each family. There were actual operators who helped the families answer or place their calls.

My grandfather was a farmer, working some 200+ acres of farmland with a mule and a plow. He raised chickens, cows, and pigs, along with his crops of potatoes, corn, and soybeans.

My grandparents actually had two kitchens in their house. They were back to back. One with a sink and a wood stove, and one with a sink, refrigerator, and a gas stove. They thought they had one of the most modern homes in the area. And most likely they did.

This was the era my mom and aunts and uncles grew up in. I’d never really thought about it until one of my cousins’ spoke about it in my aunt’s eulogy.

Just think of all the things she and her sisters and brothers had to adjust to from the years they grew up in until they passed from this life.

And think about all of the things we’ve seen change during our years of life so far.

From the ascent of television, to 8 tracks and CD’s, to computers and cell phones, and all types of changes involving all manner of connectivity.

My aunt who passed away at 97 a few weeks ago never really totally understood how to use her cell phone, and still relied on her old rotary dial phone in her kitchen. Neither she nor my mother ever used a computer.

None of my aunts and uncles, my mom and her four siblings, had ever been on a plane. They all learned to drive on stick shift cars with the gearshift on the steering column. My cousins and our spouses know how to do that, but our kids, they have no idea.

The lives of my father, who died over 60 years ago, and my aunt’s husband, who died almost 40 years ago, could possibly have been saved if the medical advances of today had been around back then.

These are just some of the things we’ve thought about over the last weeks with the passing of our aunt, the last of the Lang family siblings.

It’s been a time of reflection as well as a time of grieving and celebration of a long life well lived.

It also sets in motion a time of reflection of our lives to date, as well as a time of contemplation of the years we have left. Longevity runs in my family, and I am hoping for another 15-20 years, hopefully with good health. Although, my aunts and uncles developed severe Alzheimer’s and dementia in their later years, and my mom was just in the beginning stages of dementia when we lost her.

But no matter what the circumstances, at some point we will all enter into those late years, and we have no idea what they will bring. Our generation is entering a new time, and no matter how young or old we feel, all we need to do is look at the reality of our actual ages to make us realize that we are now looking ahead and seeing a much shorter road ahead of us than in back of us.

The changes we’ve seen in the world are numerous; too many to really count.

And for those of you who are much younger than I am, you really can’t even begin to imagine the changes you’ll see.

Gives you a new perspective on life, doesn’t it?

Leaving Everything Behind. why?

Posted on February 5, 2024 by Deborah Newell

Several months ago I read yet another sad, or better said, gut-wrenching, story of a young man who decided life would be easier if he just gave up and left it behind for something else.

His mother is naturally grief stricken and almost beyond comfort. “My heart is broken beyond repair and I can not fathom how to go on…but I have to believe he is at peace with the Lord and that God will get us through.”

His brothers and sisters and countless other family members as well as his friends are devastated.

Suicide is unfortunately a choice of last resort for many, many people suffering from depression. Or facing a devastating diagnosis. Or being bullied and taunted by selfish and uncaring people until they can’t take it any more.

This particular young man was suffering from depression. He was being treated and counseled by professionals. He was greatly loved. But for him, it just wasn’t enough.

And we’re hearing so many more stories like this, and far too often.

Just ten days ago a car drove off a privately owned pier here in Virginia Beach very early on a Saturday morning. A couple of joggers were out on the boardwalk that morning taking pictures of the sunrise and happened to videotape the car as it drove along the pier, smashing through barricades and gates, pausing only once, and then plowing through the last barricade before it plunged into the ocean below, quickly disappearing into the seventeen foot seas below.

Police were on the scene within 4 minutes, but there was no sign of the car or anyone in the water. Divers had to wait several days to safely go down to see about the car which was resting upside down in the water, and try to get some evidence to at least identify the vehicle, since it was too dangerous to try to go close enough to look inside the car and determine how many people had been inside.

All I could think of was surely, somewhere there’s someone who’s trying to find a friend or a loved one who’s missing, and wondering if that person or persons could be inside that car. But no one came forward. Maybe they were from out of town and no one knew they were missing. Or maybe they had no one to care enough about them to check on their whereabouts.

Finally three days later there was a report of a missing person that could be the driver. But we still don’t know. Even now that the car was finally pulled out of the water almost a week later. There was a body of a male inside, but still no idea who it was since the license plate on the car was gone. Most likely the police have a good idea, but haven’t said anything yet until the family has been told.

A memorial has started on the pier, growing daily, with cards, signs, flowers and the like, posthumously letting the world know that this one person’s life will not be forgotten.

But what could possibly cause someone to be so depressed, so downtrodden, and feeling so hopeless and alone that they just felt there was no way out except to end their life? How could they leave behind people who love them and care about them? What went so wrong in their life that they just couldn’t face it anymore?

I have no answers. They will hopefully be coming soon, and I’m sure the answers won’t be the answers that any of us want to hear.

Nothing can be so bad that there is no way out except ending your life.

Nothing.

If you or someone you know is suicidal or suffering from severe emotional distress, there are resources out there. One is the 988 suicide and crisis hotline. It’s a national network of local crisis centers that provide free and confidential support. They are available to help 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You can learn more at 988lifeline.org.

If You Don’t Like to Have Your Photo Taken…

Posted on January 30, 2024 by Deborah Newell

Because you think you aren’t pretty enough…

Or you don’t like the wrinkles you’re seeing on your face…

Or you don’t like your teeth…

Or you don’t like your hair…

Just remember….

Your face is a combination of hundreds of people who were in love throughout time.

How much more beautiful can you be than that?

My mother always hated having her picture taken. I have pictures of her but very few with her smiling. The ones I do have with that beautiful smile are so precious to me.

I don’t really like my pictures when they’re taken either. I don’t like the way I look because I don’t like the way my smile looks. It seems like I’m posing and I don’t look natural. I even use a photo that’s almost ten years old on my Outlook profile because it’s one I actually like.

But after reading the quote on Facebook that began this post, it gave me a whole new look on picture taking, as well as how I perceive the way I look.

I never thought about the way I look being a part of how others before me looked. Yes, I know people have said how I resemble my mom, and how she looked a lot like her mother. But I’ve never thought about how far back the resemblances go.

My face is a combination of my mom and dad, which is a combination of their parents. Which is also a combination of their sets of parents. And so on. We can keep on going until we get into hundreds of people that we’re related to, and who’ve contributed to our lineage. And our looks.

Those relatives may not look anywhere near the same as we look today, because of different styles of clothing and hair and other facial expressions. But if we look closely enough, the resemblance is there.

Early pictures of my mother show a beautiful young woman, her exciting life ahead of her. A life she was excited about. I have no pictures of my mother’s mother at an early age, but I can imagine those pictures would show the same resemblances.

And looking at my own baby pictures, compared to my daughter’s baby pictures? And her firstborn daughter’s pictures, you see a stronger resemblance than ever.

So why do we not like our own pictures, the more we see them? Because we’re looking at them with our own eyes, rather than through eyes of generations before us.

We may change somewhat as the years go by, but that strong family resemblance in the eyes and other facial features don’t go away. And then we see ourselves in our children and their children.

And so it will continue through future generations.

All because two people fell in love and created a beautiful combination of themselves.

It’s certainly something to think about.

Like I just did.

How Do You See the Glass in 2024?

Posted on January 8, 2024 by Deborah Newell

Half empty?

Half full?

Or maybe it’s leaking and there’s no plug to stop it.

That’s a decision you need to make. Now. The new year is only a few days old, but already you’re complaining that it’s just a repeat of last year.

The same problems, the same situations that you were stuck in last year. It’s a new year and you’re still miserable. What’s the point?

So the glass is half empty? Or is it leaking like a sieve and you can’t find anything to plug the hole?

Are you going to waste this entire new year ahead of you concentrating on everything that’s still wrong in your life? Complaining, feeling depressed, and concentrating on everything that you think is wrong in your life instead of looking at what’s good in your life, and finalizing and working those plans to change what’s still wrong?

If you continue to see the glass as half empty, it’s only going to start draining down further, and eventually it’ll be empty all the way.

Then what do you do?

Sitting around and looking at things negatively isn’t going to make that glass fill up; it’s not going to plug the hole that allows what’s still inside to pour out and become wasted.

“But you don’t understand how I feel. You have a good job/a nice home/a boyfriend or girlfriend/husband or wife/you’re not in pain all the time and facing surgery/your kids aren’t in big trouble/you’re not down to your last few dollars and can’t pay your bills/you’re not stressed about your job/you’re not so busy you have no time for what you want to do….”

Sound familiar? Guess what? You have no idea what that other person is going through. Because you’re concentrating on how miserable your life is and comparing it to everyone else’s life when you have no idea what they’re going through.

They may be fine on the outside, but inside they may be going through just as many struggles, or more, than you. They just don’t share them and complain about them.

They look at things differently. They see the glass half full rather than almost empty. Sure, they want it fuller than it is, but they know things will improve. They’re working toward that goal by thinking positive, and doing things to reach that goal.

They know the glass is only half full right now, but they also know it’s eventually going to get more in it.

They’re out there working to make things happen. Sure, it’s not always easy, and there will certainly be setbacks, maybe even failures along the way. The glass will get a little fuller, but then it’ll drain out a bit. Again.

It’s never going to be completely full, because life isn’t always perfect. And if that’s what you’re looking for, your glass won’t even be half full; it’ll be almost empty.

There’s no quick, magic solution to fix your problems, and to make that glass fuller. When you turn on the faucet to fill your glass, it doesn’t instantly fill. It depends on how fast the water runs, and if you allow some to splash out because it’s running too fast.

Being miserable and telling yourself no matter what you do it’s not going to work becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. You’ll stay miserable and unhappy and your glass will keep draining until there really is nothing left inside.

But doing something to make the situation better, and doing it daily, will eventually result in the glass becoming fuller. You may not notice it at first, but all if a sudden you’ll see it differently and realize, it is fuller…and by more than half.

How do I know? I’ve been there. I compared my life to everyone else’s and thought mine would never be better. And until I started to see the glass as half full instead of half empty, I didn’t think things could ever be better.

My life isn’t perfect; no one’s is. At least no one I know. But my glass is a lot more than half full. And I work on it every day because I don’t ever want to see it half empty, or worse, almost empty, ever again.

Keep that in perspective. Write down the good things in your life. Not just the big things, but the little ones, too. Then do the same with the things you need to change. And then…write down how you’re going to change them for the better. And don’t stop until you have at least one idea on how to change each bad thing to better.

It’s all up to you, you know. It’s your glass you’re seeing. And you’re the only one who can change how you see it.

There’s a whole lot of new year left. Start filling that glass!

It’s a Brand New Year – 2023 to 2024

Posted on December 31, 2023 by Deborah Newell

What are you going to do with it?

That’s 365 days. It’s a lot of time to do something you haven’t done before.

To try something new. Something you’ve always wanted to do. Something you’ve thought about but just haven’t had the opportunity – or the confidence – to try.

You’re not happy with where you are, what you’re doing? What’s keeping you from changing it? Fear of failure? Or fear of succeeding? Lack of motivation? Lack of self-confidence? Or just not knowing what to do or where to go next?

You’ve heard me say many times I don’t make New Years resolutions. Resolutions are broken usually within the first couple of weeks of the new year. Everyone can resolve to do something, but resolving and actually doing are two different things.

To be successful in this new year you’ve been given takes planning, determination, focus, willpower, and something one of my favorite high school teachers called stick-to-it-ive-ness. Keeping at it no matter what.

It’s always easier to give up when it gets difficult rather than to keep pushing through to your goal. It’s easier to say “I can’t” rather than “I can.”

That’s not saying you have to keep doing the same thing over and over if what you’re doing just isn’t working. Take a hard look at what you’re trying to accomplish and try to figure out how to do it differently to produce the desired results. Ask others to give their input and don’t be afraid to listen to what they have to say. Many times a fresh pair of eyes can see things you can’t, and suddenly you figure out a new plan that will change your outcome.

What’s your first and most important thing that you need to re-do?

Are you trying for a new job, but nothing seems to be working? Is it because you’re not presenting your qualifications properly? Or maybe you’re trying for a job that’s just not right for your skills and interests? Or maybe you’re trying for a job instead of a position that excites you; a position that enables you to use your past experiences in a new way, maybe in a new field.

Try writing out a job description of your ideal position, using your qualifications and experience as a base for what you’d enjoy doing. And don’t give that position a name, because it limits your creativity and boxes you in to a particular job. Again. Then make your plan to look for a position that incorporates those skills. Who says you have to stay in the same line of work you’ve always been in? Your unique set of skills may open you up to an entire new career.

Maybe you want to start your own business. Be your own boss. While that’s not as easy as it sounds, if you want to do it, what’s holding you back? Try it. Put together your business plan. And if it doesn’t work right at first, instead of getting discouraged and giving up, take a hard look at what your business is. Are you selling a product, and if so, is it a product lots of people will want, and can you sell enough of that product to make it a full time endeavor? Maybe, although it’s a product you’re excited about, maybe you’re one of the few who are excited about that product. So what could you change about it to make it more desirable to others? Or what could you add to your product line to generate business?

If you’re offering a service, is it service that lots of people need? Who are you trying to reach? How are you trying to reach them? Look closely at how you’re marketing the service. Are you reaching your target audience? If not, what can you do differently so those people will know you’re out there, ready to help them?

And if your business plan isn’t working, maybe you need to redo that plan so it’ll work.

Or maybe you’re looking for a new relationship. Maybe you’re stuck in a relationship that doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. You don’t want to give up, but you also aren’t happy. So are you going to settle for what you’ve got or decide to go for someone who’s more suited to you, whose interests are the same as yours, and who enjoys spending quality time with you? Rather than being afraid you’ll not have anyone at all, look for someone who’s more suited to you. Which is worse – settling for what you think you have, or deciding there’s more to life than what you currently have, and doing what’s necessary to change it? Being alone with yourself is usually better than being alone in an unhappy relationship.

Maybe you want to improve your health, exercise more, eat healthier. That’s a great goal, but you still need a plan, and you need to stick to it. You’re the only one who can make that plan work. And remember that’s going to be a lifetime commitment. Not just for this coming year. And believe it or not, this will be the hardest of the four ideas I’ve just presented to be accomplished.

These are just a few things you can look at changing for the new year. Notice I still didn’t say the word “resolution”. Because resolutions don’t work. Plans can work. But change only works when you make a plan and stick to it.

And remember all plans have to be flexible. Because something is always going to come up and try to derail your plan, no matter how well thought out it is. And that’s called life. Life happens to all of us. And we have to continually be prepared to change our plans to fit in with what life brings us.

Sound like an impossible situation? Not at all. All our plans and goals are important to us. It’s what makes us who we are. And just because our first set of plans don’t work, it doesn’t mean we’ve failed. It means we’re learning. And growing.

Happy New Year to everyone!

Sometimes You Have to Accept…

Posted on November 6, 2023 by Deborah Newell

…that the people you thought were your really good friends really aren’t.

…that the people you thought would always be in you corner don’t really care about being there.

…that although they think they care, many times they’re just too busy to be that person you need.

…that true friends don’t always have to agree with everything we believe in; but that those disagreements should be put aside for true friendship.

…that when you really need a shoulder to cry on or a hand to help you up, it may not be there from the people you expected.

…that true friendship sometimes comes from those we least expected.

…that true friendship doesn’t expect anything in return for that friendship.

…that we’re not always the friends we need to be to others.

…that sometimes apologies are needed by both sides.

…that acquaintances are not the same as friends. Acquaintances can become friends, and friends can become only acquaintances.

…and that some day it may be too late to try to rekindle a friendship that has long since gone by the wayside.

Treasure your true friends; if they leave, then they were only friends for a season. If they stick by you through good times and bad times, and don’t desert you if they make new friends, then they are friends forever.

Dressing Up for Halloween, and Yes it’s Fun!

Posted on October 30, 2023 by Deborah Newell

Yes, it’s that time again. Halloween costumes have been all over the stores and specialty shops, and selling out quickly. Fortunately our grandkids got their costumes early, and I can’t wait to see them dressed up. Even our ten month old grandson has his first Halloween costume. He’s going to be an adorable lobster! And his mom is actually going to put on an apron and a chef’s hat and carry him around in a big cooking pot! We’ll see how long that lasts! I told her that’s the closest she’ll come to cooking this year.

And pumpkins are everywhere. It seems almost everyone has carved ones on their front steps, well, except those who have big dogs who try to eat them, or an overabundance of squirrels who try to eat them! I remember growing up and my uncle making the most beautiful jack-o’-lanterns. Over fifty years ago, he was painting faces and other designs on the pumpkins rather than carving them, because they’d last longer. He was certainly ahead of his time, and if he were still here today, I’m sure he’d still be doing it, only more elaborate.

And I have do enjoy seeing the costumes the kids are wearing when they come to our door to get their candy. The little ones are always adorable. Of course now, we celebrate with our grandchildren in their development. They look so cute, and so do their friends. To them Halloween is an excuse to dress up and get candy. And what’s wrong with that? They’ve looked so adorable over the years, and this year will be no exception, I’m sure!

In fact, when I was growing up, most of us dressed up for Halloween, but very seldom in anything scary or spooky. My hometown had an annual Halloween parade, with several of the main streets blocked off so the participants could march around our little business district and the county courthouse. Children and adults paraded around streets in costumes and competed for prizes, and the streets were filled with onlookers. My aunt and uncle actually won first prize in the adult division one year, dressed as Raggedy Ann and Andy. Weren’t they looking sharp? (How many of you know who Raggedy Ann and Andy are?) And if memory serves me correctly, I think some of the local churches sponsored the parade and contributed the prizes!

Imagine how excited I was when I saw pictures on Facebook this weekend from a Halloween parade my hometown held this weekend. Not that I recognized any of the people, although I still stay in touch with some of them, and visit when we can. But I certainly recognized the local businesses, and was happy to see the church my mom and I attended there even had an entry in the parade. If I’d known about it, I’d probably have tried to go see everyone.

I can’t remember the last time I saw a Halloween parade. But they were a lot of fun! At least to us kids, and the adults who still acted like kids. It was just a fun time to enjoy ourselves, and get candy, of course!

We even dressed our dogs up one year and entered them in a costume contest at a local restaurant and they won first prize!

These days a lot of us who actually enjoy seeing the kids dressed up, and even go with the to get their candy are told by many people that we’re worshipping the devil, by going along with Halloween. That we’re teaching our kids to do the same thing. We’ve even been called all kinds of names, and none of them good!

So let me say this to those of you who put us down for allowing our children to have fun at this time of year. We are NOT celebrating the devil. We’re not worshipping Satan. And we’re certainly not teaching our children and grandchildren anything like that. People are entitled to their opinions and so are we. But I draw the line when someone starts making rude comments like that to us on social media or in person, and especially when our grandchildren are with us. There are a lot more important things to get upset about right now than kids and adults dressing up for Halloween and bringing home candy!

I saw a post the other day about this very thing. It basically said the kids who come to your door are having fun. Nothing more. They’re enjoying being kids. So give them a bit of candy, smile at them, and tell them how cute they look. Life only gets harder as they get older, so let them enjoy this time to be a child and have some fun.

That’s what we’re going to do.

In a World Where You Can Be Anything

Posted on October 26, 2023 by Deborah Newell

Sometimes the hardest thing to be is yourself.

Yes, I did write about this earlier, but I think this topic deserves a bit more investigation.

You certainly start out your life with hopes and dreams of what you want to do. What you want to be.

But sometimes we don’t always have the talent or the skills to be exactly what we want to be.

For instance, I could never be a singer. I love listening to country music and I admire so many of the new female artists out there. But I couldn’t do it. Because my voice isn’t their voice. Even with training, I couldn’t begin to sing like they do. But I can appreciate that art and enjoy the music. And sing their songs to myself as I work or relax.

An early dream for me was to maybe become a doctor. But that took a lot of education, and I didn’t have that motivation. Plus, the thought of drawing blood didn’t really appeal to me either.

A teacher? Like my mom? A lot of my classmates decided on that, and they were excellent at it. The found their true calling. I thought about it, and even tried it out two days in a classroom filling in for one of my mother’s friends. After that, I knew there was no way I had the patience for that either.

I actually had no idea what I wanted to do, which is why I majored in business. I figured it would give me a good background to get a job doing something.

And it did. I worked in radio and television for a short time and then found my calling as a marketing manager for a shopping mall. One thing led to another as I learned about shopping center management, and then on to a career in commercial real estate, which I’m continuing in today.

But fortunately I’m still the same person I was many years ago. I still love to read, to do craft projects, and obviously there’s writing. I just haven’t quite decided where I want to take that yet. But I have time.

Are there things I regret not doing? Of course.

Things I still want to do? Still want to try? Absolutely.

But one thing I’ve learned is that no matter what new adventure I try, what new craft or skill I put my hands to, I’m always going to be myself.

And that’s what and who I am and really want to be.

I’m Not Afraid of Storms

Posted on October 16, 2023 by Deborah Newell

Because I’m learning to sail my ship.

That sentence struck me in a book I recently read, words spoken by the heroine’s aunt when she was explaining how she chose to handle the bad times in her life.

As I write this today, we’re in the middle of a tropical storm. It’s raining like crazy, winds picking up and gusting all around. There are tornado watches in several areas around us. Flooding in a lot of places around us has already been reported, but fortunately where we live, we very seldom experience that unless the storm drains are full of debris.

So I began to think, how do we sail our ship safely when those proverbial storms come against us?

Certainly during a tropical storm like I just described, we don’t take our boat out. We secure it, batten down the hatches, as the saying goes, and either ride out the storm on board, or go to higher ground, knowing we’ve done everything we can to keep that ship safe during the storm. It may come out of it with no damage, or it may end up with some repairs needing to be done, but in the end, it’s back in good shape and ready for the next adventure.

So we sail on, through sunny skies, with a few storms once in awhile coming our way that we have to navigate through. But as we continue our voyage, we learn how to best navigate through those unexpected squalls and storms. Sometimes we come out unscathed, and sometimes we need to make a few more repairs and adjustments. But we learn from each encounter.

Sometimes the bad times in our lives are brief; a few days, a few weeks, and we get through them, using what we’ve learned in previous situations. We step forward knowing we’ve conquered another situation which was just in reality a small blip on our radar. A small problem to quickly overcome.

But sometimes in our lives we figuratively encounter that major storm, a nor’easter or even a hurricane. One that seems to almost come out of nowhere, giving us little or no time to prepare. But those are the times we do what we can as best we can. We pull on our experiences along the way, our inner strengths that have developed over the years, and we roll up our sleeves and put our lives back together as best we can. Sometimes better than before, sometimes almost the same, and other times we carry a few battle scars with us that we learn to live with and make the most of.

Because we’ve earned them. We’ve fought our battles, and we’ve overcome them. We’ve learned how to best sail our ship, the only one we’ve been given, and we hoist up our sails and go on once again. Maybe better, maybe a little worse for wear, but never defeated.

Where’s your ship headed today? Is it in the best shape possible or does it need a few repairs? If it does, get them made and then set your course for the next adventure.

Just Living Life

A journal of advice, stories, and ideas from years of living

Category Archives: Thoughts and Musings