A Memorial Day for the Fallen – 2023

Today is Memorial Day. A day set aside to honor those who have given their lives for this country. In countless wars and overseas conflicts. Brave men and women who gave their all.

They gave their lives to protect our freedoms. They went where our country sent them, and did what they needed to do. 

Did they question their reasons for going? I’m sure many did. But they went. Some returned and some didn’t. Today we honor those that didn’t return.

But I cannot help but ask us all to add another couple of categories of our citizens to remember and pay our respects to on this Memorial Day. Citizens who left home one day as usual and never returned.

Let’s remember the hundreds of first responders, police and firefighters as well as EMT’s who have also given their lives to save others. Oh, I know right now the police are under attack again for not doing what they’re supposed to do. It’s become a o popular sport in this country, unfortunately. And there will always be those officers who are in the wrong, but the majority are good people, who’ve dedicated themselves to such service, and those of them who’ve given their lives in the line of duty should be honored as well. It’s a job I wouldn’t want to do, and I am thankful for each and every one of them that have chosen to do it.

And we need to continue to support those who gave so much, and even today are still trying to readjust to a world that isn’t the same as when they left to serve; a world that sometimes tends to forget them, or ignore them; a world that sometimes has trouble remembering all they went through, and how hard it is to re-adjust to a life that has certainly changed them, emotionally as well as sometimes physical.

And I want us to also remember another group of people…innocent people who’ve been senselessly murdered by cowardly people with guns, out to spread their hatred and violence for whatever twisted and deranged parts of their minds that were urging them forward.

Innocent children. Worshippers in their chosen houses of God. Innocent shoppers in malls and grocery stores. Innocent concert goers who were enjoying a night of music. 

They unwillingly gave their lives because someone they didn’t even know decided they didn’t deserve to live.

And we continue on with our lives, thankful it wasn’t us.  

But such violence touches all of us in some way. It forever changes a part of us, and sometimes we don’t even realize it.

The awfulness of so much violence in this country will eventually be forgotten by the majority of the country, but never by the families and communities which have been devastated by the tragedy. Just like the families of our servicemen and women who were lost in combat, they will NEVER forget. Not a day will go by without a memory sneaking into their mind, and those memories are all they have left. They can’t call to say hello. They can’t visit with them or invite them to dinner. They can only look at their pictures and relive their memories.

Today as most of us gather together with friends and family for picnics and parties, or go out to grab up the best Memorial Day sales, let’s take the time to remember those families who are grieving over their loved ones who will never attend such events again.

Remember the fallen, because they deserve never, ever to be forgotten. And remember the families who will also never forget.

Reflections from a Mother/Daughter/Grandmother

There were those days as a daughter of a widowed mother that I really couldn’t understand all the feelings, all the love, that a mother felt for her child. It’s not really something a child can grasp. 

Yes, we know our mom loves us, but at a young age we truly cannot comprehend what that means. We cannot understand the depth of that love. That self-sacrificing, desire to do anything-possible-for-your-child kind of love.

Because as a young child, whose emotions are still developing, we just can’t grasp what it all means. We know about loving our mom, but that love is how a child loves. Unconditionally. Without expecting anything but to be loved in return. To feel safe and protected. To believe she’ll always be there for you.

Most of us were fortunate enough to have that in our young lives. I was, but I do know there are many who were not, for many different reasons. And I feel so terribly sorry for each and every one of you who were not that fortunate.

As I grew older, I began to understand that love more. But it wasn’t until I became a mother myself until I truly appreciated it. Experienced it for myself.

I was an older mom when our daughter was born; just like my own mother had been. We’d both thought we’d never have the chance to have a child of our own, and my own mother truly understood how I felt month after month when I didn’t get pregnant. 

I think she was as excited as I was when I was finally able to share the wonderful news with her that she was going to be a grandmother, because her only child was finally going to have a baby! She was definitely as excited as I was as the months went on leading up to our due date. 

She was worried about how sick I was the first 3-4 months. She was as nervous as I was while we waited for the amniocentesis results. And she was as thrilled as we were when we found out we were having a girl! Her friends even gave her a surprise grandmother’s baby shower, which delighted her to no end.

I could hear the joy in her voice when we called her from the hospital after delivering our beautiful daughter. And I’ll never forget the look of love on her face when she saw her granddaughter for the first time. We all cried.

And at that time I finally understood what it was like to love a child unconditionally. I had carried her inside me for 9 months, and she was finally here! The moment she was placed in my arms I knew my life had changed forever. That feeling is like no other. 

And I knew that no matter what time brought for us, no matter the joys and the difficult times, I’d always love this child, and do anything I could for her to raise her to be a strong and loving young woman. Although I couldn’t shield her from skinned knees and broken hearts, I would do whatever I could to give her the best life possible.

And now, 30+ years later, I find myself the grandmother of not one, but three beautiful grandchildren. My daughter’s babies. It seems only yesterday she’d been a baby herself who grew into a beautiful woman, now wife and mother.

I still remember the day she and her husband came over unexpectedly to visit us. They just wanted to bring us something, they said. And they did. A card and a gift. They made us open the card first. And the card had baby booties on it! We also got a sign that said “____ weeks til baby.” They were having a baby! We were going to be grandparents! But somehow I knew even before they told us. Moms know things like that…

I was now going to be the mother of a mother of a child. My daughter was definitely no longer a little girl. She was a grown woman who was now going to have a child of her own. My emotions were everywhere. 

And yes, I still worried about her, especially with all the problems with her pregnancy. Being a mother means that no matter how old your child, she’s still your baby. And you’ll always be concerned. 

But when little Rachel arrived, and a few weeks early at that, as soon as I saw her, I clearly saw my own mother’s eyes looking back at me. It was one of those moments I’ll never forget, and never be able to truly describe. And I felt my mother’s presence so strongly beside me as I looked at the sheer beauty of my first grandchild.

Since then I’ve been blessed with two other very special grandmother moments. 

The first was receiving a picture on my phone of little 3 year old Rachel looking at a book titled “Big Sister”.  I didn’t have to guess what that meant! Another baby! We were all thrilled! And little Ryleigh came along three weeks before her big sister’s birthday. I was now a grandmother to two beautiful girls!

But Ashley and Chris still wanted a boy to complete their family. This time it took a lot longer than we expected. So much longer that it brought back all the memories of my bouts with infertility, and every time they were unsuccessful I felt the pain as much as she did.

Last Mother’s Day we only got to spend time with Ashley and Rachel because Ryleigh was sick. 

Fortunately Chris took care of her so Ashley and Rachel could at least join us for our Mother’s Day brunch. But it wasn’t quite the same without everyone around. Ashley wasn’t feeling good either, and I hoped she wasn’t getting what Ryleigh had, but I suddenly had one of my “moments” that that was a good thing. Call it mother’s or grandmother’s intuition, but I just felt it…

And less than a week later, a picture came across my phone with both of our two granddaughters smiling and wearing very special shirts which said “Promoted to Big Sister” and “Big Sister Again.” I couldn’t punch in her number fast enough! Finally our third grandchild was on its way! What a wonderful belated Mother’s Day gift for us both!

We anxiously awaited the results of a blood test several weeks later to find out what we were having. I was tasked with getting the email results and then my husband and I would go to their house and let them break a piñata filled with the right color confetti. And yes, I’d bought two different bags of it.  

But somehow I just knew. So much so that I almost only bought one color. And when the email came in I was almost scared to open it. And when I finally did, my intuition was confirmed, and I wanted to scream with joy! And I couldn’t even tell anyone yet, including grandpa!

But it was all worth it when our granddaughters broke the piñata (with a little help from grandmom) and blue confetti spilled out everywhere! Ashley was ecstatic and jumping up and down and Chris was just in shock. But he was delighted as well!

Although this was the most difficult of her pregnancies, which included several hospital visits, our long- awaited grandson Ryan was born 5 weeks early and 5 days before Christmas, weighing in at 6 pounds and perfectly healthy. The best Christmas gift we could have received.

This is the most special Mother’s Day yet for our family. Three beautiful grandchildren and the best daughter and son-in-law we could have. I only wish my own mother could be here with us to see our special family. But I do feel she’s watching us from heaven, with my father by her side, both of them smiling from ear to ear.

To everyone who has taken the time to read this, may your day be as blessed as ours, and may your lives be full to overflowing.

For those of you who are still waiting to become a mom or a grandmother, never give up hope, because a blessing will come to you when you least expect it, and sometimes in ways you cannot imagine.

God bless you and your families on this Mother’s Day.

Is Easter Different Now?

Now before you start getting mad at me and calling me all kinds of names I really don’t deserve, read what I’m talking about. Don’t just look at my title and assume you know what I’m going to say.

Sometimes I don’t even know what I’m going to say until the whole post is written.

I’m talking about how the day itself seems to be looked at now. As opposed to when my generation was growing up.

When I was going to school we always had Easter vacation, you know, like Christmas vacation. We were off on Good Friday and Easter Monday, and if I remember correctly, our week off started the Monday of Good Friday week and we went back to school the Tuesday after Easter.

But over the years that’s changed. Now the students have Spring Break.  Which can be any week in March, or April, so it seems. And not all school districts have the same week off, which makes planning vacations a bit difficult. And then college is a whole other story. I have no idea how those breaks are scheduled, and lots of time it’s not the same as the elementary and high school schedules. And they don’t necessarily have off on Good Friday, which to many families is a holy day.

Seems to me they’re trying to make it around the best times for the kids to go to beach weekends, if you ask me. But of course no one did.

On another note, when I was growing up, we always dressed up in our newest and best clothes for Easter Sunday. We girls wore new hats, just like our moms and grandmothers did, plus new white gloves and purses to go with our new Easter dress. Oh, and don’t forget the black or white patent leather shoes! 

Little boys had new suit jackets and ties (clip on, of course), and we all had pictures taken before we went to Easter Sunday church services. Then we all got together for a big family dinner with as many family members as possible. In my case, my two uncles and their wives even came down from Philadelphia to our little hometown on the Eastern Shore of Maryland, just so we could all be together.

Our parents hid real colored eggs outside for us to find, and of course, Easter Sunday morning started with checking out the big Easter basket the Easter Bunny had left for us after we went to bed. I remember not being able to open it (the bunny wrapped it with cellophane) until after church, but I very carefully looked all thru it thru the cellophane and wondered what it would all taste like! Of course I always had a big chocolate bunny and one of those sugar eggs with a hole at each end so you could look at the scene inside. I don’t know why I was so fascinated by them, because you certainly didn’t eat them.  But they were the centerpiece of that basket every year!

Now today, things are different.

Gone are the days of dressing up and showing off Easter hats and new dresses. Our daughter does get Easter outfits for our granddaughters, but not necessarily fancy dresses, and this year I can guarantee Baby Ryan will have his “first Easter outfit” for family photos. How can we resist that?!

We’ll have a special Easter brunch at a local restaurant, with jelly bean Bellinis (don’t judge until you’ve tried one!) for the adults and Easter drinks for the grandkids with jelly beans as well. Then it’s back to our house for an Easter egg hunt with tiny gift-filled plastic eggs, and of course baskets the Bunny left at our house for them. 

The grandkids’ baskets, though, aren’t the candy-filled creations I had growing up. Yes, there is some candy, but it’s more arts and craft items, jewelry, and nail polish. Baby Ryan’s will have teething toys. The Easter Bunny is getting more creative every year.

Many towns used to have Easter parades on Easter weekend, lots of times with hat decorating contests. And I’m proud to say my aunt actually won first prize one year with her Easter hat, featuring an Easter egg tree on top. Unfortunately I don’t have a picture though.

Up until Covid hit, we went to Easter services every year. Sometimes the kids joined us, but usually they met us somewhere for lunch afterwards. Now we still haven’t started back to attending church, and we’re not sure where we’ll go when we do. 

But that doesn’t mean we’ve forgotten what Easter means, and why it’s so important to Christian believers. However, I’m not criticizing anyone who has a different belief than we do. Nor will I accept anyone’s condemnation of us for not going to church if we are believers. It is our choice for now. Yes, I do miss it, but when it’s time we will return.

Yes, Easter traditions and celebrations are a lot different now than they were 60+ years ago. And those celebrations were different than those of the preceding 60+ years. Things do change. 

The way we celebrate Easter may change, but the Easter story itself doesn’t change. It continues to remain the most significant and important belief of the Christian community, no matter how we celebrate it. It’s the greatest story of love and redemption the world has seen.

May each of you have a very Happy Easter, however you choose to celebrate the day.

Another Happy Birthday to the Leader of the Flock

It’s hard to believe that this particular post was written six years ago. So much has happened since then, and I’ve updated it accordingly, including some new pictures, but one thing remains the same. He’s still the leader if the flock!

Or shall I say the “unofficial” leader of the flock! After all, the real leader of the flamingo flock has to have his very own pink feathers! Feathers that grow on him naturally, that is!

But how many guys can actually claim to be an honorary member of the flock? It takes a special guy to have that honor bestowed upon him.

First of all, he has to like pink. Actually he has to like wearing pink! And that’s one thing he’s never minded. He has pink sweaters, pink shirts, and of course certain pink flamingo tropical shirts! Not to mention the glasses, and the hats, and, well, then there are the lights…..

He has to like shrimp, and of course that’s one of his favorite foods. Fortunately eating them hasn’t turned him pink yet, but you never know…! He could wake up one morning with pink hair! Yes, I’ve threatened this over the years, but never done it….YET

And he has to be a fan of pink wine or pink champagne, or at the least margaritas! And since he does prefer White Zinfandel, which is sort of pink, the flamingos took the opportunity to get some special wine for him for his birthday! Sure hope he likes it!

And since flamingos are quite creative, especially when it comes to decorating and party planning, the leader of the flock needs a bit of a flair for decorating, and, he is known for his talent at decorating the foyer ledge for Christmas and other seasonal events. Plus, the pool parties we used to have every year are renown for not only the food, but the costume contests, the festive decorating, and of course, the extremely talented bartenders! And let’s not forget our beloved Rusty the Golden Retriever Flamingo! Even though he has now crossed over the Rainbow Bridge, I have a feeling he’s having Pink Flamingo Pool Parties with his friends, making new traditions and enjoying a truly fantastic and specially designed flamingo pool just for him!

Flamingo parties were so much fun! and I’ve updated some of the flamingo picture gallery, just because I can!

I think by now we all know who we’re talking about. Who else but our very own Ben, who actually began the flamingo madness at our house and invited those fabulous pink birds to take up permanent residence! In fact, they were invited for the Great Flamingo Fly-In on his 60th birthday, and they just never left! Even after 13 years, (how can it be that long?) they’re still hanging around.

So in honor of his special day, the flamingos decided to have another flamingo birthday party for him. Only the very best for the Leader of the Flock, of course! And don’t feel bad if you didn’t get an invitation, because they only invited him, me, and all of the other flamingos and their friends!

There will be presents galore, we’re sure! All manner of flamingo gifts and gadgets to go with his growing collection (like he needs more)! He can always use more flamingo wine stoppers, wine glasses, and of course an extra set of flamingo dinnerware to use by the pool this summer for those special evenings with his closest flamingo friends who’ll join him for grilled shrimp and margaritas.

And what’s a birthday party without a birthday cake? And for this occasion, they decided to have a birthday cake contest, and they’d select the best five cakes to present to him! Of course, what he doesn’t know is that the flamingos’ way of presenting birthday cakes involves a bit of tossing and smashing, especially when it’s for a really special person! And especially when the flamingos have had an extra glass of wine or two! And the icing just may turn that hair pink!

Which one of these do you think he’d like the best?

So Ben, you’d better be prepared, because when the flamingos are involved, you just never know what will happen!!

And who knows? Maybe this summer we’ll try one more flamingo pool party, and yes, with all three of our grandchildren dressed in flamingo attire, including our newest grandson, Ryan. (Sorry Chris, but for this one day he’ll have to go along with the theme and wear something flamingoish. He’ll only be eight months old by then, and he’ll enjoy it!)

So Happy Birthday to the Leader of the Flock! And a really good sport!

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Mardi Gras – Flamingo Style 2023

As you certainly know by now, flamingos are extremely social birds. They can’t resist a good party, and the more flamboyant the better! So when they heard about Mardi Gras, well….you can only imagine their reaction. Talk about a party designed with them in mind….!

So they set out to plan their Mardi Gras celebration. Which of course had to be bigger and better than the ones they’d heard about in New Orleans! After all, they have a reputation to maintain for party planning….whether they’d ever been to a Mardi Gras celebration or not.
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They did their research on line with their pink iPads (well actually they borrowed mine since it has a pink cover), and came up with some absolutely perfect Mardi Gras party plans…flamingo style, of course!

And since Mardi Gras parties are filled with glitter and feathers and all manner of gaudy, flashy and flamboyant decor, it was their idea of a perfect party! And they set to work to plan the ultimate Mardi Gras festivity!

The guest list was easy, and the invitations were simple to create! And as with their many other parties, everyone quickly accepted, because they knew the flamingos threw the best parties in town! Then they set to work selecting decorations, planning their menu and their special drinks, hiring a band, and of course, planning the most elaborate costumes and Mardi Gras masks they could design! (With prizes for the best ones, of course!)

Their masks were amazing! Lots of feathers and sequins and glitter. Lots of pink, although there were a few of the traditional colors thrown in as well. They figured a little purple, gold, and green did blend rather nicely with their favorite shades of pink. What do you think of their choices? And which one would you select as the winner?

And then there were the ropes of beads! Lots and lots of them! In a rainbow of colors….not just the traditional colors, but of course lots of pink sparkly beads, many with fun flamingo figurines on them, of course! They even hung some of those necklaces around the house in strategic places as decorations, and on the front door.

The flaminguys had to have top hats to go with their formal attire, of course. Formal attire for a guy flamingo, being a pink bow tie, vest, and cummerbund. With a pink rose pinned to their lapel…in this case, with the roses sprinkled with glitter!

Decorating was easy. It always is for the flamingos, you know; they’re known for their flashy but stylish decorating skills! And since just about anything goes for Mardi Gras, well, they certainly outdid themselves!

With fancy feathered and beaded chair covers, shiny beaded chandeliers, and tables set with flowers and beads, and beaded wine bottles, well, let’s just say the attendees said they’d never seen a Mardi Gras party as spectacular this one!

And the menu…let’s start with the bar, because after all, Marci Gras is known for the amazing libations, along with the amazing creole cuisine and amazing King cakes.

The flamingos were certain to have the most unique, most original libations to be found! Their version of the popular Marci Gras Hurricane was a work of art, with their own special blend of several flavors of rum, passion fruit syrup, lime juice, and of course their own touch of pink fruit juice that they just will not share! Topped off with slices of lime and orange slices, and a couple of maraschino cherries for the final garnish, well let’s say each drink was a work of art, and served in hand-painted (or rather, wing-painted) glasses that were given to each guest as a party souvenir.

And of course, their menu included their favorite shrimp dishes, along with some Cajun crawfish, red beans and rice, and a few surprises they begged us not to reveal. After all, flamingos have to have a few secrets, only to be shared with other flamingos.

commdiginnews-comTheir grand dessert finale was the traditional King Cake….flamingo style. Traditionally the King Cake is a round cake confection decorated with sugared icing in the Mardi Gras colors of green, gold, and purple. The cake itself may be colored as well, or it may contain apple, cream cheese, or other fillings. It usually contains a small figurine of the Baby Jesus, although today the figurines can be any number of different items. But only one, because tradition says that whoever gets the figurine in their slice provides the cake for next year’s party.

Naturally the flamingos just weren’t satisfied with the traditional one layer cake, so they contacted their favorite flamingo cake artist, and he was able to provide several beautifully decorated cakes (as well as some special Mardi Gras cookies) for the event. And what was baked inside each one? Why a plastic flamingo statuette! What else?!

It wouldn’t be a Mardi Gras party without some New Orleans jazz, though, and let’s just say this…if you’ve never heard the amazing King Creole Funky Flamingo Five, you haven’t heard jazz! Flamingo style, of course!

With Fancy Catfish Fred on trumpet (he’s the one wearing the sequined catfish on his derby hat!). Long Tall Louie on trombone, with his hanging flamingo charms clipped on his trombone slide. Saucy Shrimpy Sal on saxophone, a legend for the amount of shrimp he can consume at one meal (and we hear he’s been known to stash a few shrimp in the bell of his sax, just in case he needs a snack while performing!).

Then there’s Fletch “The Stretch” on sousaphone, who’s known for his ability to stretch some of the most amazing melodies out of that instrument! Watching Fletch perform is always a treat!

Last but certainly not least, we have Lester “Skinny Legs” Lawrence the Liberace of the snare drum, famous for his flowing multi-colored feathered robes!

And they used the occasion to introduce their newest members, Marvelous Matilda and her twin sister Amazing Miss Mavis. Matilda is a delightfully talented flamingo keyboard artist extraordinaire whose feathertips can tickle those keys like no other! And Miss Mavis’ vocal talents are truly amazing! Guess they’ll have to change the name of the band, since they now have seven members!

2017-02-25-09-51-56Unfortunately they wouldn’t allow photos of their performance, as they’re in the process of negotiating a major recording contract, and they want their publicity photos to be released at the time of their first album! What can we say….?

But we did get sneak a picture of Marvelous Matilda…or was it Mavis….? You just can’t tell them apart, especially in costume!

Yes, the flamingos’ Mardi Gras party was a huge success! Did you expect anything less? And imagine our surprise when we came home the next morning (they did ask us to attend, since they were using our house – again – but we decided it would be much more fun for them to just have their flamingo friends at this particular bash!) and found several flamingos we’d never met sound asleep on our floor! It must’ve been a heck of a party!

And I’m sure they’re hard at work planning their next event….! Stay tuned!

Disclaimer: All content posted here is assumed to be in the public domain. If you find one of your images here and wish it to be removed please contact me.

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You Can’t Analyze Love

It just happens.

Sometimes when you least expect it.

Sometimes it develops over time. It can also fade over time if it isn’t well cared for.

Sometimes it’s not reciprocated.

Sometimes we think it’s love when it’s not.

Sometimes we try to make love happen when it’s not supposed to.

Sometimes we want it to be love so much that we make more of it than it actually is. We imagine it is, and then discover it was all in our imagination.

Sometimes we look back and rethink everything that happened in the relationship to determine what went wrong, what we could have done differently, and what we could have done to prevent everything from falling apart. And we blame ourselves every time.

And that’s analyzing it. Which you just can’t do. Because you’ll never come up with an answer that will change a thing.

As I said in the beginning, love just happens. When it’s time.

And if you don’t have a special someone for Valentine’s Day, it’s not your time yet.

But it will be…when it’s time.

Stupid Cupid

Those of us of a certain age remember that song by Connie Francis, released back in 1959.

All I really remembered about the song were the chorus lyrics “Stupid Cupid, stop picking on me!”

Now this is a song about teenage love, of course. A lovesick girl carrying her boyfriend’s books to school and who can’t concentrate on her homework because she’s thinking about the guy and blames it on Cupid?! And she wants to clip his wings so he can’t fly?

Ok, this was the fifties/sixties. And it was a really long time ago. Songs like this made sense back then.

But let me ask you. How often have you actually wanted to say “Cupid you’re really stupid! Why’d you do that?!” Or change it around to say “Cupid is Stupid!”

What’d he do this time? Surely this little curly haired cherub who flies around this time of year wearing a diaper and shooting heart-shaped arrows at people wouldn’t do anything wrong!

At this time of year, if you’re one of those people without a significant other in your life, you really don’t want to hear about Cupid. You don’t want to be reminded how that obnoxious little pudgy cherub is missing you with his arrows again. 

There were a lot of years I felt like that. Every time I saw a picture of that pink faced little guy with his arrows I wanted to scream. Every time I walked into a store with all the Valentine merchandise I wanted to run. I really didn’t want to be at the office that day either because I had no one to send me flowers or balloons. It really was an uncomfortable day.

Things have changed over the years, but I still remember those feelings. I felt left out, because it was only me, and no boyfriend or husband.

So I get it. And I have a suggestion.

This year, let’s show Cupid how it feels to be left out of the fun. No, we’re not going to hurt him, but we’re going to show him that not being included in the celebration isn’t exactly a good time.

This year we’re going to take those heart shaped arrows away from him. He’s going to have to actually go out and meet people, talk to people. And try to get a woman interested in HIM, without any help. And he’s certainly not going to be dressed up like himself (after all, if you were a woman and a guy came up to you dressed in a diaper carrying a bow and arrow, well, I don’t think the results would be too good!). He’ll have to wear regular clothes, and come up with a story about who he is, where he’s from, what he does, etc.

Keep in mind Cupid is shy. He only works about a few weeks or so every year, and doesn’t really understand what real people are like, how they feel, etc. So chances are he’s going to feel a bit uncomfortable trying to accomplish this. I can sort of imagine this whole thing as a Will Ferrell movie. How about you?

I’m sure Cupid won’t like being in this role. Not at all. But it will teach him that trying to play with people’s hearts, their emotions, isn’t cute. It isn’t fun. And it can hurt when you’re on the outside looking in. 

Of course, if it were a movie, it would either end up with Cupid actually finding the right woman for him, or better yet, waking up and realizing he’d been dreaming it all, and promising himself that next year, things would be different! How, I don’t know yet. What do you think? How would you end it?

Now this may not have solved your problems with Cupid for this Valentine’s Day, but isn’t it nice to just think about it in a lighthearted way for once? And maybe poke a little fun at it all?

So go out and buy yourself some flowers, or balloons, or even a big box of candy. And write a card to yourself telling you how wonderful you are. 

Because you are wonderful, and special, and one day you will find what you’re looking for.

Starting Another New Year

And once again looking expectantly to starting something new. Maybe becoming someone new. 

We all have that feeling at first, or a part of it. This is going to be a year of changes, a year we accomplish something new, a year of becoming a new person, etc.

All over social media we see the examples, many times in the form of ads for products being pushed on us that are supposed to make that huge change in your life.

Ads for new journals to use to record all the wonderful things you’re going to do. Ads for art and writing classes that will suddenly change your entire life, just by using their product. Ads for cosmetics that will instantly make you look ten or twenty years younger overnight. Ads for products that will teach you a new language, a new skill,  or make you lose weight easily and quickly; all you have to do is buy the product!

So what’s the magic formula that changes December 31, 2022 at 11:59 PM to January 1, 2023 at 12:00 midnight that suddenly makes all your hopes and dreams come true in just a second of time? What causes that transformation from who you were that particular second to the new person you become the next second?

Do you magically feel different, look different, think different, maybe suddenly have everything you ever wanted?

It’s not that easy, is it?

Our expectations are easy to imagine in our minds. But to make them actually happen is another matter. 

Sure, we start out believing that THIS new year is “it”. The year we do this, that or the other thing; the year that we become who we’re destined to be; the year we find that perfect job, that perfect relationship, that perfect thing we’ve been looking for for so long.

We’re expectant. We’re excited. We start new things and vow to continue our new “me” forever. 

And for several weeks we do. But the novelty wears off, and we quickly become tired of trying so hard because we don’t get what we want right away, and by the end of January we’re back to our old selves, wondering why nothing has changed yet.

It happens to all of us at one time or the other. Sometimes over and over.

Because making a change entails a lot more than saying you’re going to do this or that. It involves changing your mindset, the way you think about things.

It involves stepping out of your comfort zone and taking a chance. It involves doing something new, in order to make a change. 

And it also involves sticking with something even when you don’t see the results immediately, like in a few weeks or maybe a month. Because change isn’t instant. You can’t wiggle your nose or snap your fingers and instantly change your life. That’s not how it works.

Yes, the new year is a great time to make promises of things you’re going to do to change your life. But that change will only happen if you make a conscious and conscientious decision to really do it, and not give up and not stop until you reach your goal. 

Change can only come by working toward a goal and continuing, even when you don’t see things happening right away or the way you expect them to.

It took a lot of years to become who your were on December 31. So why do you expect to immediately be someone else on January 1? 

Promising yourself to do something different in this new year is great, but don’t lose sight of that promise on January 2, or 3, or January 20….or the next month or two. You can accomplish your goal, but not without changing your mindset and your way of living.

So try it. What have you got to lose?

Happy New Year to each and every one of you!

And Once, Again It’s Almost Over

How many of us are saying that this year? I know I am! It’s been a rough year for a lot of people, some much more than others.

At times it seemed this year dragged in forever, and then suddenly were wondering where the year went!!

Life has changed for lots of us, in so many ways, and not always for the good.

Sure, there have been some happy and wonderful events in 2022. Engagements, weddings, new babies (our new grandson and a couple of babies for our daughter’s friends), expected babies, graduations, new careers, and new beginnings.

But it’s also not been so easy for so very many. There have been unwanted and painful separations and divorces. Unexpected deaths of loved ones and friends. Life changing diagnoses and accidents. Job loss and continuing unemployment. Financial struggles. High gas prices (which are fortunately going down now). Inflation.

Then there are the catastrophes which hit thousands of people. Disastrous hurricanes and torrential flooding. Brutal snowstorms and below freezing temperatures which have already resulted in a number of deaths due to the temperatures. Earthquakes. Tsunamis. Loss of thousands of homes with people left wondering “now what do I do?!” More mass shootings for absolutely no reason except hate. The horrible war in Ukraine which has resulted in thousands of senseless deaths, thousands of devastating forever life-changing injuries, and thousands of people losing their homes and everything but the clothes on their backs.

Now you may say these things happen all the time; we just hear about them more because of the times we’re living in. That may be true, but to the people affected, it doesn’t make it any easier.

You may be directly affected, or you may not. If not, what if you were? Put yourself in their places for a little while, and your circumstances aren’t quite as bad.

Personally our year has been ok, but it’s had its moments. We’ve had some medical issues, not only with my husband this time, but with our daughter’s complications during her pregnancy (which fortunately resulted in a healthy baby boy). We’ve had friends going through extremely difficult situations, including job loss, serious illness, and loss of family members. We’ve stood by them as they stood by us, because that’s what friends do.

Some weeks it seemed like all we got was bad news. I almost didn’t want to answer my phone or read text messages because it was probably more bad news coming.

Did you feel that way? Do you still? Are you as glad as I am that this year is almost over?

But just remember, we felt a lot like this last year at this time.

We entered into 2022 with hopes of a bright future. Changes for the good. New beginnings. Some of us had them. For some of us, it was more of the same.

This year let’s try something different. Instead of looking and waiting for change in the new year, let’s help make it happen. Waiting and hoping and doing nothing won’t cause the change we want.

There are 365 new days coming in a new year. 365 opportunities to make something better happen. Sure, a lot is dependent on others, but you still can make a difference by changing the way you look at your circumstances, changing the way you think about them and deal with them. Some problems may not be solveable that easily, but making plans and goals to get you where you want to be is a great start.

And your attitude is the beginning. If you start by saying “I can’t do this without that.” “Someone else will have to do it for me,” then you’ll not get anywhere. You won’t be able to make your plans and hopes and dreams for the new year become a reality.

You may think the grass is greener on the other side, but I can almost guarantee those people with that greener grass think their grass isn’t nearly as green as THEIR neighbors’!

“If I just had __________________.” isn’t the answer either. There’s no magic solution that’s going to make your new year automatically better. It’s planning and attitude. It’s how you see things and how you deal with them. Perhaps, like us, there are a few things you know you’ll be facing in 2023 that are somewhat out of your control, but still, it’s how you handle them.

Because you can’t control everything that happens in the coming year. There will still be losses we will have to face. There will still be natural disasters that we can only prepare for as best we can and hope for the best. And we certainly cannot control the actions of others, and how they affect us, but we CAN control how we react to them and how we deal with it. And not let them get the best of us.

Yes, I’m glad 2022 is almost over. And I’m hoping 2023 is a much better, much more prosperous, and much healthier year.

Yes, there are sure to be tough times as well, but overall I’m looking for good things for this year for all of us.

That’s how I’m going to look at it.

Happy New Year!!

Making a Special Christmas Dinner

As I shared a few days ago, our Christmas was a bit different this year. And certainly not what we’d planned. 

Of course we had a good reason for it being a bit different, because five days before our daughter and her husband presented us with a new baby boy…5 weeks early. Our tiny grandbaby was definitely the best gift we’ve ever received for Christmas. 

But he certainly caused us to use a lot of creativity and ingenuity in order to create a festive dinner with only 24 hours to plan it, since we didn’t know until the day before if our new mom would be up to traveling (which she wasn’t). And although not what we usually do, we made it work. 

Fortunately my best friend Karen is an event planner who specializes in creative picnics for various occasions. She was already included in our family dinner, and we put her decorating and cooking skills to work to help put together and set up a traveling Christmas dinner at our daughter’s house, complete with all the gifts, food, and even impromptu table decorations gathered up from my Christmas craft supplies. 

A festive occasion calls for a properly decorated table, as well as a good presentation of the food, even if we had to improvise a bit. 

Which we did.

After our preparing almost everything in my kitchen and Karen’s, we packed up two cars, one with gifts and one with food, and headed to our daughter’s home some 30 minutes away.

Trying to put together dinner in someone else’s home, even if you’ve prepared almost everything in advance, isn’t the easiest thing to do, as many of you know. Although we tried to bring all the serving pieces, serving dishes, etc., there were still things we had to finish in an unfamiliar setting, which called for more improvising, including searching for sharp knives, saucepans, and the like. Our son in law had to clean his fishing knife in order to carve the turkey, and then we had to warm up the gravy in a small fry pan, which was all we could find.

Not to mention having to use an oven that wasn’t properly calibrated, which meant we had to guess at the time it took to bake my “famous” cinnamon buns! (Thank goodness we were able to figure the cooking time out and they turned out perfect!)

Karen used a tablecloth and napkins I’d brought, along with a few candles our daughter had, and put together our dinner table. Yes, we used paper plates and cups, but it worked. 

And the new big sisters pretended they were at a restaurant at their own special table and even used their “menus” to order their meal! But they did forget to leave their servers a tip. Even after having a third serving of my cinnamon buns.

But all of this just continues to reinforce that Christmas isn’t about fancy decorations, or food that looks like it came from a restaurant or the pages of a magazine. It’s about family and friends, being together, and loving each other. We were together and that’s what counted the most. 

Definitely a Christmas Day we won’t forget. Especially with our newest member of the family!

Hope yours was wonderful as well!

A Baby Changes Everything

That’s not just the title of a Christmas song.

Since the first of November when we began thinking about the holidays, I always felt like this Christmas was going to be different somehow. 

Call it intuition, a sixth sense, or just a mother’s intuitive “knowing” that this year was not going to be like other Christmases. 

I had insisted that we put all of our Christmas trees up as soon as November arrived. All (now) 13 of them. Plus the other decorations that fill our home with the holiday spirit, including the decorative ledge Ben does every year. It’s not a quick process, but we did get it all done and complete just two days before Thanksgiving.

We were able to celebrate our traditional Thanksgiving meal in our home that was ready for the Christmas season to begin. And we even joked about how next year we’d have an extra person around the table, since our daughter and son-in-law were expecting another baby the first of the year.

But Ashley kept saying she thought he was going to be early like her other babies, like maybe even at Christmas. Which would be a little too early, or so I thought.

We didn’t do our traditional Black Friday shopping because Ashley wasn’t up to it, although we did get the granddaughters’ Christmas outfits and took them to see Santa and had their pictures made, just in case the baby decided he make his appearance early.

Then Covid hit us, or should I say Ben and me, and we ended up quarantined for almost two weeks, unable to do much of anything. And yes, we’d had the vaccines and boosters, so I’m assuming it was a lighter case than others. But still…

Fortunately Amazon became our best friend, or should I say MY best friend, since I ordered almost all the gifts from there while we were sick.

But as the days passed by, Ashley was feeling worse with this pregnancy than the others, and along with her almost daily bouts of morning and any other time sickness, she developed choleostasis, a pregnancy induced liver problem in which the bile accumulates in the mother’s bloodstream causing severe itching and yes, potentially risking the baby as well as mom.

She began to be monitored twice a week by her doctors, and more miserable and sick than with the last two, and we were told he’d be coming several weeks early. We just weren’t sure exactly when.  It seemed almost day by day things could change.

But we did know we’d have a Christmas baby, either before the day itself, or right after. And yes, that changed everything because he now would need a few more warmer clothes than she had for him, and a Christmas outfit, and of course we had to tell Santa we might have another child to bring gifts for in their household.

Santa already knew when baby would be here. He already had his gifts. But Santa doesn’t tell everything he knows.

And just five days before Christmas our family gained a beautiful baby boy! A tiny baby boy. Although 6 pounds at birth, even at 5 weeks early, he was still really little. Fortunately we’d found a few preemie sizes (which aren’t that easy to find) already, and hours after he was born I went out and found a few more. And when we brought his sisters to the hospital to meet him, we were able to have a pre-Christmas gift opening, just for their baby brother, with the tiny outfits that would actually sort of fit him!

Then we needed to figure out Christmas Day. Every year Ashley and her family have come to our house for dinner, where more gifts plus filled stockings awaited them all. It’s tradition.

But a baby changes everything. And as a baby boy who was born some 2000+ years ago at Christmas changed the world, our little grandson changed things for all of us as well. 

In all good ways, of course. We have so much to be grateful and thankful for. We have a precious gift which came early, and as far as the doctors were concerned, he’s healthy. His big sisters adore him. Mom has her little man, Dad is just over the moon happy to have a son. And these grandparents are just loving him and spoiling him already, like the other two grandchildren.

And the hospital even featured him as one of two Christmas babies on their Facebook and Instagram pages!

Our daughter, however, is having a rough recovery from the third C-section, as well as post eclampsia, and just couldn’t travel a half hour away to our house this year. So we brought Christmas dinner to them at their house, as well as all their gifts. In a two car caravan loaded with bags and boxes. And we all celebrated in a new way. Because the joy and love found at Christmas isn’t measured in fancy food, a beautifully decorated table, or how many gifts there are. It’s celebrated with the love of family and friends, and the joy of being together. 

And for our family, this year brought a special early gift that’s the best we’ve ever had. Our beautiful baby grandson.

A baby changes everything. 

And that’s what Christmas is all about. 

We Wish You A Merry Christmas 2022

We realize many of you are having a very difficult time today. Christmas can be a very rough day if you’re hurting.

But let us take the time to share the gifts we’d like to present you with today…gifts from our hearts. Gifts that cannot always be purchased with money; because they’re priceless.

For the woman who’s spending yet another Christmas without someone to love, someone to love her, accept the gift of hope, that that someone you’ve been praying for, and hoping for, will enter your life in the new year, and you will finally find the love you’ve been dreaming of for so long.

For those of you who have been waiting for a reconciliation with your children, or other family members, accept the gift of renewal, that things and circumstances will be made whole again, the past forgotten. May you receive a knock on the door of your heart allowing that reconciliation to take place, and your joy be restored.

For the man struggling with addictions, receive the gift of self-control and strength, that once and for all those addictions will be put behind you and your new life will begin even today as that gift is opened.

For those of you struggling with the first Christmas following death of a loved one, receive the gift of cherished memories that will live forever in the scrapbook of your heart, and the knowledge that the love you had for each other will never die, and that they are waiting for you in heaven.

For the family who’s lost, or about to lose, their home, accept the gift of a new place to live that will be the perfect home, cozy and peaceful, with enough room for everyone.

For the couple who desperately want a child of their own, may you receive the gift of the child you’ve wanted so badly, a child that was meant just for you. Because Christmas is about the birth of a long-awaited child.

For the family struggling to make ends meet on a daily basis, may you receive a gift of financial blessing, a new job, or a salary increase, that will ease your worries and allow you to provide comfortably for your family.

For those who are facing a serious illness… may you receive the gift of healing and the knowledge that the word of the Lord is always true and faithful.

Christmas is a time of hope. A time of renewal of faith and a renewal of the promises we were given over two thousand years ago in a manger in Bethlehem.

On this Christmas Day, be blessed. And may the light of His love shine forth over you as never before.

Merry Christmas to all!!!