When a Loved One is Lost

It can happen in the blink of an eye. In a nano-second. Faster than it’s taken me to write these first few sentences.

One minute life is perfect…or almost perfect. The next minute the phone rings and your world is turned upside down…never to be made right again. You thought you had all the time in the world.

And suddenly that time is no more. The cord was cut; the connection severed. And it cannot be repaired.

All the things we’d planned to do to make things right are only that. Plans we had. Plans that will never work because they can’t be used.

“I was going to call tomorrow…”

“I was going to stop by this weekend…”

“I was going to apologize…”

“I was going to tell him/her how much I love them…”

“I was going to ask for forgiveness…”

“I was going to forgive…”

“I was going to say let’s try again…”

Look at the common denominator in these sentences. “I WAS going to…” But you didn’t. You put it off. You ignored that feeling inside you that said, “do it now”.

You were too angry. Too hurt. Too proud. Too afraid. You knew you were right and no matter what, you would NEVER forgive or listen to what they had to say.

Because you didn’t know what would happen if you did. You didn’t know how they’d take it, so you waited for them to make the first move.

Or you waited for them to finally see things your way, and tell you you were right all along and their point of view was totally wrong.

Now they can’t say anything. Neither can you. Your chances in this life are gone.

And what’s even sadder…most of the time it’s a family member, or members, that I’m talking about. Sure, friends fit in that situation as well, but when it’s family, it’s so much worse.

Lately I’ve tried to reach out to several people. It was difficult. Because I knew what would probably happen. But I tried anyway. Unfortunately, so far I was right. But it won’t stop me from trying again.

Because anger, hard feelings, grudges, and indignation have no place in a family, or a friendship.

We have no idea when it’ll be too late to try. No idea when we’ll get a call, or even worse, read about it in the newspaper because no one would take the time to reach out and at least let us know. I’ve been on that end, too, and most likely so have you.

Loved ones can be lost in many ways; they can be lost to us because of words and misunderstandings, and they can be lost forever because they’re no longer here.

Is there someone you need to reach out to? Don’t wait. Try. You may not get a response, as in my case, but you need to try. And then try again. No matter who or what started it, you need to be the one to start the reconciliation process. Before it’s too late.

Because when a loved one is lost forever, you’ll only have regrets.

And memories of what could have been again.

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