Not to pick on poor ol’ dad, but let’s face it! Sometimes they don’t see things like moms and their daughters do. Especially when it comes to wedding gown shopping! Not that I’m picking on anyone in particular, you understand…..but if the shoe fits…!

As soon as our bride-to-be (I just like that term!) got her engagement ring, we started talking about wedding gown shopping. We’d look at all the stores here locally, then venture up to Williamsburg, and then on to Richmond, and then probably the Washington, DC and Baltimore areas….oh yeah, we were going to make this THE shopping trip of a lifetime!

We’d take some of the bridesmaids with us on each shopping trip. Of course! Part of their job is helping, isn’t it? And they also have to pick out some bridesmaid dress styles. Oh, yes, I envisioned all of these shopping excursions! Isn’t that a HUGE part of the fun of working with brides? Especially when it’s your own daughter!

Dad just didn’t understand all that. Or so he said.

His first suggestion…since one of our daughter’s best friends got married last year, and they’re the same size, he naturally figured that HER wedding dress would be perfect for Ashley to wear! After all, it’s only been worn once!

Really? Seriously here?

Yes, they’re the same size. Yes, her dress was beautiful. However….her friend is her Matron of Honor. Some of the same guests are attending Ashley’s wedding as attended Shadoe’s. And whether or not they remember the dress, well, it just wouldn’t be quite the same. That’s carrying “something borrowed” just a bit too far! (I do know there are brides who’ve happily done that, but this is not going to happen here.) We’ve actually heard for the past eight months or more about how she can wear her friend’s dress!

It’s not happening, Dad. Get over it! Move on!

Well, he did move on. Next idea was a consignment shop. “They’ve only been worn once. No one will know.” He may or may not have been serious. Then he went on to explain how she could get a $1,500 dress for probably a couple of hundred. And no one would recognize that one, because none of us would know where it came from!

“Really, dad? So you want me to wear someone else’s dress, who might have worn it and then gotten divorced so she’s selling it to make money? Maybe Chris should’ve gotten my ring at a consignment shop!”

Aha! Dad liked that idea and threatened to tell Chris, so he could exchange the ring he’d already given her. Not a wise move. (Dad just hasn’t learned the finer points of negotiating about wedding gowns. You’d think the husband of a wedding planner would MAYBE know a little better….?)

He even suggested that she could RENT a dress. After all, the groomsmen are renting their tuxes! (And up until a few weeks ago I didn’t know there was a place here locally where you could actually do that!) Then you can just return it afterwards. Sometimes he doesn’t know when to give up.

Then he saw a show on TV about a bride-to-be getting her dress at a pawn shop! There was this back room, and there were a bunch of wedding gowns on sale for $99. He was absolutely enthralled! And when the bride-to-be ended up getting her dress for only $49 because it was stained with beer and she had to get it cleaned, well…that just started him off again! Not to mention that the rest of the show dealt with having the ceremony on a basketball court and the reception dinner being twinkies and grilled cheese sandwiches. The whole wedding cost under $500. You could just see the wheels turning….

Should I even mention that he also suggested Ashley could wear the wedding gown I’ve had in storage since 1972? It’s not quite her style, since it’s long sleeves and lacy and heavy and well…a bit dated. But isn’t that why we have them preserved? For our daughters to wear for their weddings?

Fortunately, as you can imagine, our bride-to-be ended up going shopping with me and several of her bridesmaids and found her dress. Her never-worn NEW dress. Unfortunately for me, though, we only went to two stores before she found THE one!

Which has been ordered. And is now ready to be picked up. (But as one of dad’s friends told him…don’t worry, if it hasn’t been altered yet, you can still convince her to return it!)

Sorry, Dad. But I did like the look on your face when she tried it on when we went to pick it up. Aren’t you glad you let her get what SHE wanted?

And isn’t she going to be a beautiful bride?

NOTE: There’s nothing wrong with getting your dress at a consignment shop, borrowing from a friend, or even renting it! Lots of brides happily do that, for various reasons. It’s what YOU want to do. Because it’s YOUR wedding!

Photo Sources: 1st Row: Blackburn Bridal Couture – London – 2nd Row: Personal Files – 3rd Row: Kittyhaw.com- 4th Row: Tradesy.com – 5th Row: Personal Files