Several weeks ago our daughter had complained that her engagement and wedding rings were so tight on her finger she couldn’t get them on any more. So she took them to her jeweler who re-sized them for her, and now they once again fit perfectly. You see, her hands had been swelling during her pregnancy, and when she finally delivered our granddaughter, her fingers never quite got back down to their pre-pregnancy size.
How simple…our rings get too tight, and we get them adjusted. We don’t take them off and discard them. We don’t say I won’t wear them any more because they hurt. We fix the problem so we can continue to wear them.
But what happens when those wedding rings start feeling too tight, and it’s NOT because of swollen fingers, but because of other reasons? Feeling trapped, unloved, and unappreciated. Feeling like so many mistakes have been made, that those rings just keep getting tighter and tighter until you have no choice but to do something about it, and either take them off and put them away, or have them re-fitted so you can keep wearing them.
While you may be tempted to just put them away and be done with them, along with the reasons you’ve been wearing them in the first place, that’s not the answer.
Remember when those rings were new? You’d just bought them, and both of you tried them on, excitedly anticipating the day you’d place them on each other’s fingers, never to be taken off again. You wondered what that would be like, and if it would be hard getting used to wearing them.
And now….they aren’t new anymore, and sometimes they feel heavy, tight, really uncomfortable. You’re so ready to take them off.
But it’s not about jewelry. It’s about your hearts. Which may need fixing a lot more than your rings.
Those rings are a perfect circle. Not just because that’s how they fit best on your finger. But that never-ending gold circle also symbolizes the never-ending love between husband and wife.
As your officiant said in the marriage ceremony as you prepared to exchange your rings: “These rings are an outward and visible sign of your love for one another, and the promises you just made to each other as a result of that love. They are a perfect circle, representing your love which, when given to one another, comes back around again and again; never ending. They are made of precious gold, which has been refined by fire, yet still shines brightly.”
You nervously slid them on each other’s fingers, which wasn’t as easy as you thought, and said to each other, “with this ring, I thee wed…and pledge my life and love to you for the rest of our lives.”
And you were married. Those rings fit so beautifully and comfortably that day.
So why don’t they now?
Maybe it’s not that your fingers have swollen. Maybe it’s because your heart isn’t where it needs to be, and it’s causing those rings to be uncomfortable. And taking them off isn’t the answer, is it? After all, it’s said that there’s a vein in your ring finger which runs directly to your heart, so of course if your heart isn’t feeling the way it should, your rings will be uncomfortable.
Marriage isn’t easy. If it were, there wouldn’t be as many broken homes as there are today. Marriage is a lifelong commitment that you must work on every day.
Were your dating days all easy, or were there days you decided you never wanted to see each other again? But those days didn’t last that long, and you always came back to each other and worked things out. That’s why you got married, because you knew no matter what, you were meant to be together.
It’s the same now that you’re married; only you can’t, or shouldn’t, just not see or talk to each other until your issues are resolved. This time there’s a lot more at stake, and just because those rings are uncomfortable doesn’t mean you take them off and hide them away.
It means you clean them up, and adjust them to fit again. By talking to each other and working out your disagreements; getting your hearts right again. And remembering why you married each other.
When you do that, the more comfortable those rings will become again, and the brighter they’ll shine. Remember, the rings themselves were refined in the fire, made stronger, as they were made. Just as your marriage becomes stronger as it endures through both the good as well as the bad times.
So take those rings, clean them up, and slip them on each other’s fingers again, and remember how you felt that day. Speak your promises to each other again. Remember why you made them.
And look at how those rings are starting to shine again!