The right time? That isn’t really why you’re waiting, you know.
You’re not really waiting until you have more money. Or until you get that better job so your finances will be more stable. Or until you can afford a big blowout wedding to impress your friends. Or until you can afford to go on that dream honeymoon in Aruba!
It’s all a bunch of convenient excuses. You’ve already been living together for several years. You’re playing at marriage. You share your money; you share a home. You may even have a child together. But there’s no ring on either of your hands. But there’s no real commitment. If there were, you’d get married.
So what’s the real reason? You want to be able to leave if you need to? Then you don’t need to be living together, because you’re probably already looking to see who else is out there.
Or you say you want to be sure? So there won’t be a divorce? Let me tell you, if you’ve been a couple for a while, you should know there’s no such thing as really being SURE it’s right. Some days you are, and some days you aren’t. Marriage is a commitment between two people who love each other. You’re as sure it’s right as your commitment to each other. There’s no guarantees. Marriage is what you make it. It’s a work in progress. Each and every day.
I’ve said many times before there’s a big difference in a wedding and a marriage. A big wedding takes a long time to plan, and is over in a few short hours, and forgotten within a few days. A marriage is a lifetime commitment that shouldn’t end. You don’t need that big dream wedding to start off your marriage on the right foot. It might be nice, and produce some awesome photos, but it doesn’t guarantee a successful marriage.
Nothing does. Marriage doesn’t come with a money-back guarantee, or a trade-in policy if you’re not happy. But if you’ve decided to just live together as if you were married, then for heaven’s sake, go ahead and get married!
And if you can’t afford all the trappings of a big wedding, remember you’ll be just as married if you go to the justice of the peace as you will with a formal wedding. (You can still wear a simple wedding dress and carry a bouquet of flowers if that’s important to you…I know several women who’ve done that!) In fact, smaller weddings can be more intimate, more about the two of you, than a huge formal affair that’s about the venue and the guests! Get married on the beach, or another place that’s special to the two of you.
What matters is the TWO of you. And your commitment to each other. That’s what makes a marriage!
You have no idea what tomorrow will bring, so stop saying you’re waiting for the right time. If you love each other, THIS is the right time.