Matters of the Heart, Part 17

You’d think that the time we had to wait for the surgery would go very quickly. After all, we finally had a date, which meant there was light at the end of the tunnel. Ben was feeling fairly good, although more tired than usual, so what was another four weeks to wait? But that’s a long tunnel.

There was a lot going on in our lives, including the upcoming birth of our second granddaughter, so we had to get ready for that, since I was going to be staying with Ashley and her family when she cane home from the hospital that first week. Which left Ben at home by himself, which did sort of concern me, but he assured me he’d be fine.

Well, there was light at the end of that tunnel, but sometimes that light is a train coming at you, and you don’t know if it’s going to hit you or go off on a side track at the last minute.

That first light started heading at us at high speed just a week later, when he started having a lot of shortness of breath, as well as being more and more tired than usual, “like someone took a hose and sucked all the energy out!” It seemed like suddenly he was retaining fluid more than ever. And his regular meds weren’t taking care of it. Of course, he called his doctor and was told to increase his fluid pills.

Which had no effect at all.

He tried to work the following week and was only able to do it one day. Fortunately he works for a company who understands his current health status, and was able to take off with no problem. And even more fortunate, he was able to get an appointment at his doctor’s office the next day. He was given an even stronger medication to take, and told if it didn’t help within 48 hours, he was to go to the hospital. Which would mean staying there for several days of IV meds to reduce the swelling and fluid retention.

It was a tough week. He felt awful, could barely do anything without having trouble breathing, and as a result, was totally exhausted. Going up the stairs was extremely difficult, as was taking out our two Yorkies. Lifting anything was difficult. Even trying to go out and get a quick dinner was exhausting, even if I drove. A short one mile trip to the drugstore wore him out. He felt house-bound and just miserable.

The physical stress was hard; the emotional stress was just as hard. And it affected both of us. It’s not easy to suddenly not be able to do little things that you normally do on a daily basis. When walking a little dog on a leash becomes difficult, leaning over to pick up something makes you short of breath and light-headed, and driving to get lunch makes you so tired you have to take a nap, it’s not good. I was suddenly the one who had to do all of the physical work around the house, which made him feel guilty for having these problems, and gave me no time to relax after work. But even worse, all I could do was worry about him, and wonder how we’d make it til the surgery date.

He was put on a cancellation list in case a surgery slot opened up, which was doubtful, as the nurse told him. Usually no one canceled unless they didn’t make it, and we certainly didn’t want that! But finally the new meds started helping so the situation was a bit more manageable.

Easter was approaching. And one of our Easter traditions was Sunday church followed by brunch and then an Easter egg hunt for our granddaughter. For the first time in years, Ben was unable to make the church service, but he did make it to brunch, because he didn’t want to disappoint Ashley and her family. He made it through brunch, but then came home and sat on the steps and could only watch the Easter egg hunt rather than help. I know it upset him, but what choice did he have?

Fortunately that next week he was able to go back to work, because the shortness of breath had improved since the fluid retention had decreased, but he still took a nap as soon as he came home in order to function the rest of the night.

Then we got a call. There was a cancellation. May 1. The original date and the date of our daughter’s C-section. Of course.

We talked it over and he talked to Ashley as well, and since he was feeling better, and because Ashley was going to need me to help her out when she came home, he elected to still leave the date for the 15th. Plus, he didn’t want either of us to miss Ryleigh’s birth and all those special moments of the day.

He continued taking it as easy each day as he could, napping as soon as he got home, going to bed early, and trying to avoid overdoing it. Which for Ben wasn’t easy.

We got through the week, but then came Sunday morning, when after getting dressed he was so lightheaded he couldn’t do anything but lay on the sofa and go back to sleep, and I was expecting to end up
taking him to the hospital. Fortunately his doctor’s office was apparently correct when they said most likely it was due to his not using his CPAP machine the night before because of the mask not fitting properly.

Two hours later he was doing much better and able to at least go out for a quick lunch.

Two more weeks to go….and I won’t say what else could happen, because I don’t want to know.

The story continues in Matters of the Heart, Part 18, which will be published soon after Ben’s heart surgery which is May 15. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

Don’t miss the previous stories in this series:
Matters of the Heart, Part 1
Matters of the Heart, Part 2
Matters of the Heart, Part 3
Matters of the Heart, Part 4
Matters of the Heart, Part 5
Matters of the Heart, Part 6
Matters of the Heart, Part 7
Matters of the Heart, Part 8
Matters of the Heart, Part 9
Matters of the Heart, Part 10
Matters of the Heart, Part 11
Matters of the Heart, Part 12
Matters of the Heart, Part 13
Matters of the Heart, Part 14
Matters of the Heart, Part 15
Matters of the Heart, Part 16

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