Cupid, Don’t Remind Me…

When I was single I have to admit I didn’t like Valentine’s Day. In fact I hated it! It was just another reminder that I was alone.

No boyfriend; not even anyone I was remotely interested in. No husband. Just me and my dogs. And they didn’t send flowers or candy. I’m sure they would’ve if they’d known about it, and had any money, but they were…well, dogs.

I dreaded it. Every store I went in was decorated with hearts and Cupids and valentine balloons. Valentine cards were everywhere. Cute-sy sayings, rhymes, valentine cartoons….ugh. And all kinds of valentine decorations for that “someone special.”

Restaurants advertised special meals for couples. Florists advertised flower deliveries by tuxedo-wearing delivery men in limousines. Jewelry stores advertised special deals on diamond engagement rings, or other diamond jewelry as a valentine gift for your wife or sweetheart.

It just got to be too much sometimes.

Until I wanted to scream. Run away and not come back until February 15. When it was all over.

Which would’ve accomplished absolutely nothing except running away. Nothing would’ve changed except the date on the calendar.

At least by then Cupid would have already taken his arrows and flown away, and been replaced by a smiling drunken leprechaun. Who fortunately doesn’t remind anyone of their being alone.

Still….who wants to be reminded of how single they are? How no one seems to care for them? It causes us to lose hope, feel sorry for ourselves, and give up on our dream of ever having that special person in our life.

Cupid, please stop reminding those who aren’t in a relationship how much they’re missing out on. Because as we know, romantic relationships aren’t all romance 24/7.

Yes, it’s wonderful to have someone you love to share your life. And the ups and the downs as well. It’s great to have someone to go out to dinner with, to a movie, or to any number of places. To be with you when you don’t feel good, and support you when you’ve had a bad day.

There are also the times you neither one want to talk to each other, much less be in the same room, or even the same house; the times you just want to be by yourself and not have to entertain anyone else. When you don’t feel like eating dinner at all, much less cooking it for someone else. When you just want to look comfortable in your grubbiest, most comfortable clothes, not caring how you look; not wanting to have to impress anyone.

Then there are the times as parents when the kids are irritable, crying, argumentative, and just downright rude, and neither you or your spouse has the energy to deal with it. But one of you has to, and whoever ends up being “the bad guy” gets not only a set of frayed nerves, but sometimes has to listen to your spouse telling you how you handled it all wrong….

Cupid, are you listening?

This is what love really is.

These are the real life issues involved in a loving relationship. The issues that aren’t a part of Valentine’s Day, because they’re not the romantic ideal that this day celebrating love and romance, flowers and candy and candlelight dinners, is all about.

These are the real life loving situations, the ones that Cupid disappears from when they start to happen.

Because Cupid only shoots the love arrows into hearts; he doesn’t stick around to watch that love mature into a lasting relationship, with all the ups and downs; the good and the bad; the fun and the not-so-fun.

Cupid doesn’t mention the parts of a relationship that are real, and not the romantic idealized Valentine’s Day promoted by card stores, jewelry stores, florists, and restaurants. That’s not his job.

Those difficult parts of a relationship which make that relationship endure, are yours. There’s romance, which is certainly important, and there’s also the reality of day to day life. Which is the largest and most important part of that relationship.

So when Cupid keeps reminding you what you’re missing, just remember that what he’s promoting is only a tiny part of the story. A story that’s not for the faint of heart, and a story you have to be ready for.

It’s not all romance with candlelight dinners and walks in the moonlight. In fact, it’s the everyday routine, coupled with the reality of life, which makes those candlelight dinners and moonlight walks all the more special. They really don’t happen that often, but when they do, you both really appreciate it.

Cupid, you’re good at what you do. But maybe you should stick around a bit longer once your arrow has found its mark, to help your couples through the really tough times that are part of every relationship.

And please stop reminding those who haven’t yet been hit by one your arrows; who haven’t yet found that relationship, that they’re missing out. The right relationship is worth waiting for, and sometimes the longer it takes, the more lasting it will be.

And by the way, Cupid, where’s your special someone? I’ve never seen you with anyone. So maybe you actually know what we’re talking about here!

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