Category Archives: Valentines Day

Love it or dread it, Valentine’s Day is a popular holiday. A time for love or a time to make it painfully obvious that you’re single. But some of our stories have a bit of a different twist

Rethinking Valentine’s Day 2024

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Valentine’s Day is tomorrow. Just a day away.

The card shops are overflowing with red and pink; there are hearts everywhere, and an entire store-length row of cards, from mushy to funny, for spouses, sweethearts, kids…even the dog and cat! There are singing stuffed animals everywhere, boxes of candy and all kinds of cute figurines that scream “I love you!” Tuesday evening the shops will be full of guys who leave everything to the last minute, and then realize their wife or girlfriend is going to be really upset if they’re empty-handed Wednesday morning.

The florist shops are full of red and pink roses, whose prices are inflated (of course!) for the weekend. After all, roses are in high demand right now, especially red ones! Mylar balloons are appropriately displayed, and deliveries are impossible to schedule, because there just isn’t enough time.

The candy stores are equally busy, making all manner of chocolate goodies, and as quickly as they’re made, they’re walking out the door. Chocolate covered strawberries are a hugely popular item this year, and of course, extremely pricey!

And the restaurants have been advertising their special romantic “dinner for two” packages, with special menus, special wines, and decadent desserts. And for an extra $5 or $10, they’ll include a rose or two. You’d better already have your reservations at the really popular places, because there aren’t any reservations left!

Everywhere you go, you’re bombarded with reminders of Valentine’s Day. You’re even hit with them at the grocery store!

You’re supposed to show him/her how much you REALLY love them on this day. But what about the day before, and the day after? The week after? Don’t those days count as well? Why should we limit showing someone we love them to just one particular day?

But there are many people out there for which Valentine’s Day is just another reminder of what they’ve lost. Like Thanksgiving and Christmas, it can also be a very difficult day.

What about those individuals whose spouses have died, and they’re alone, perhaps for the first time, on Valentine’s Day. They may pass by a card display in a store and see those cards reading “To My Husband/Wife on Valentine’s Day” and suddenly the pain they’ve put away for months comes back as they remember last year’s celebration, and even the cards they may have exchanged.

What about those people whose spouses have deserted them for someone else? They, too, remember previous years, and are now thinking how he/she is with that other person having a wonderful time, while they’re sitting home alone, or perhaps wondering if during last year’s Valentine celebration their now “ex” was actually dreaming about someone else.

Then there’s the young woman who was happily planning her wedding until her fiancé told her just a month ago that he’s changed his mind and calling it off.

What about the young woman or young man who is still searching for that special person to share their life with, and year after year Valentine’s Day is the same? A constant reminder that there’s no one out there for them yet, while all their friends seem to have already found the love of their life. Why not them?

And there’s the couple who just got a devastating diagnosis from the doctor. Now they’re wondering if there’ll even be another Valentine’s Day together next year.

Don’t get me wrong. I like Valentine’s Day; I always have. I enjoy getting a card or two from my husband, and I won’t turn down a box of candy, although now I ask him not to spend money on cut flowers (give me a rosebush I can plant!). But over the past few years we’ve had so many friends going through so much, it has really caused me to reflect on how we think about our loved ones, and how often we actually tell them how important they are to us; how much we appreciate them. Especially the older we get. Because there may not be enough time.

If you’re like me, you don’t do it nearly enough. It’s easy to get so entrenched in our day to day activities that we don’t always take the time we should to let them know we love them, and how much we appreciate those little things they do. And I’m just as guilty as the next person.

We shouldn’t wait til Valentine’s Day to send a message of love, give a card or a box of candy, or take someone out to a special dinner. If we wait, how do we know there’ll be another opportunity? And if there’s no one special in your life right now, call a friend and go somewhere with them; who knows who you may meet because of that particular “date”?

Our daughter has never been one to look to a boyfriend, and now her husband, to shower her with gifts on Valentine’s Day. In fact, she told us many times in high school and college that it wasn’t important to her. “Why should we spend all that money for one day to impress someone? We should do it every day if we really care. It’s just a way for the stores to make money.” I used to worry about her sentiments being a bit misplaced, but looking back a few years, I believe she taught us a thing or two. Sure, she and Chris usually go out on that day, and she did actually decorate a big Valentine cookie for him one year, but her attitude has remained the same. We should show our loved ones each day how much we care about them. While we still can. Because we may not be able to a few days from now.

How about buying a few extra valentine cards to have around all year, just to surprise someone when they least expect it? It could brighten someone’s day more than you know! Let’s extend Valentine’s Day into a lot more than just one day. After all, true love is not limited to just one day each year.

There’s Really A Galentine’s Day?

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Actually, yes. There is. I looked it up.

It’s like Valentines Day, except for girls. It may not be an official “holiday” but for millions of gals (women, ladies, girls, whatever you prefer to call you and your female friends), it really is a thing.

Now over the years, many single women used to dread Valentine’s Day because it reminded a lot of them that weren’t in a relationship, whether through no fault of their own, or they’d just had a terrible breakup or worse, their husband had passed away, or they just weren’t interested in a relationship at that point in time.

Right now the “official” Galentines Day is February 13. It’s a day for celebrating the platonic love between women, and friends of all genders. It can be with mothers, daughters, sisters, friends. Many women actually schedule Galentines Day and go out with their female friends while leaving their own husbands or significant others to fend for themselves.

It’s actually got some traditions already started. Like getting a bunch of friends lined up to go out and then drawing names to get that person a special gift to open that night from their “galentine”. I sort of like that idea.  It’s sort of like a secret Santa,only a “Secret Cupid”.

You can have the Galentines celebration at a restaurant or at someone’s home. With special indulgent sweet treats, like brownie heart cupcakes, pink champagne truffles, raspberry velvet cake, etc., forget the main course and go straight to the dessert.

After some special cocktails or champagne, of course. Or with those yummy desserts. Who cares? It’s a celebration!

In fact, you can make it an all day celebration, with a spa day, including mani-pedis, hair color and styling, massages, wine tasting…you name it.

So what do you think? Are you ready for something different this year? 

Let your imagination take flight, and let us know what you come up with!

Actually it sounds like a lot of fun!

You Can’t Analyze Love

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It just happens.

Sometimes when you least expect it.

Sometimes it develops over time. It can also fade over time if it isn’t well cared for.

Sometimes it’s not reciprocated.

Sometimes we think it’s love when it’s not.

Sometimes we try to make love happen when it’s not supposed to.

Sometimes we want it to be love so much that we make more of it than it actually is. We imagine it is, and then discover it was all in our imagination.

Sometimes we look back and rethink everything that happened in the relationship to determine what went wrong, what we could have done differently, and what we could have done to prevent everything from falling apart. And we blame ourselves every time.

And that’s analyzing it. Which you just can’t do. Because you’ll never come up with an answer that will change a thing.

As I said in the beginning, love just happens. When it’s time.

And if you don’t have a special someone for Valentine’s Day, it’s not your time yet.

But it will be…when it’s time.

Stupid Cupid

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Those of us of a certain age remember that song by Connie Francis, released back in 1959.

All I really remembered about the song were the chorus lyrics “Stupid Cupid, stop picking on me!”

Now this is a song about teenage love, of course. A lovesick girl carrying her boyfriend’s books to school and who can’t concentrate on her homework because she’s thinking about the guy and blames it on Cupid?! And she wants to clip his wings so he can’t fly?

Ok, this was the fifties/sixties. And it was a really long time ago. Songs like this made sense back then.

But let me ask you. How often have you actually wanted to say “Cupid you’re really stupid! Why’d you do that?!” Or change it around to say “Cupid is Stupid!”

What’d he do this time? Surely this little curly haired cherub who flies around this time of year wearing a diaper and shooting heart-shaped arrows at people wouldn’t do anything wrong!

At this time of year, if you’re one of those people without a significant other in your life, you really don’t want to hear about Cupid. You don’t want to be reminded how that obnoxious little pudgy cherub is missing you with his arrows again. 

There were a lot of years I felt like that. Every time I saw a picture of that pink faced little guy with his arrows I wanted to scream. Every time I walked into a store with all the Valentine merchandise I wanted to run. I really didn’t want to be at the office that day either because I had no one to send me flowers or balloons. It really was an uncomfortable day.

Things have changed over the years, but I still remember those feelings. I felt left out, because it was only me, and no boyfriend or husband.

So I get it. And I have a suggestion.

This year, let’s show Cupid how it feels to be left out of the fun. No, we’re not going to hurt him, but we’re going to show him that not being included in the celebration isn’t exactly a good time.

This year we’re going to take those heart shaped arrows away from him. He’s going to have to actually go out and meet people, talk to people. And try to get a woman interested in HIM, without any help. And he’s certainly not going to be dressed up like himself (after all, if you were a woman and a guy came up to you dressed in a diaper carrying a bow and arrow, well, I don’t think the results would be too good!). He’ll have to wear regular clothes, and come up with a story about who he is, where he’s from, what he does, etc.

Keep in mind Cupid is shy. He only works about a few weeks or so every year, and doesn’t really understand what real people are like, how they feel, etc. So chances are he’s going to feel a bit uncomfortable trying to accomplish this. I can sort of imagine this whole thing as a Will Ferrell movie. How about you?

I’m sure Cupid won’t like being in this role. Not at all. But it will teach him that trying to play with people’s hearts, their emotions, isn’t cute. It isn’t fun. And it can hurt when you’re on the outside looking in. 

Of course, if it were a movie, it would either end up with Cupid actually finding the right woman for him, or better yet, waking up and realizing he’d been dreaming it all, and promising himself that next year, things would be different! How, I don’t know yet. What do you think? How would you end it?

Now this may not have solved your problems with Cupid for this Valentine’s Day, but isn’t it nice to just think about it in a lighthearted way for once? And maybe poke a little fun at it all?

So go out and buy yourself some flowers, or balloons, or even a big box of candy. And write a card to yourself telling you how wonderful you are. 

Because you are wonderful, and special, and one day you will find what you’re looking for.

It’s February 14

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What does that mean to you?

Notice I didn’t call it Valentine’s Day. 

Or Galentine’s Day. 

Or Single Awareness Day. 

Or International Quirkyalone Day (Yes, that’s real. I saw it online. It’s been around since 2003 and is for singles and those in platonic relationships.)

Or Let’s Make This Day Go Away Day.

Tell Someone You Love Them and Forget Them the Rest of the Year Day.

Pretend You’re Still in Love Day

Try to Impress Her Because You Really Screwed Up Day. 

A lot of people “celebrate” it that way, you know. As our daughter says, why the big fuss over Valentine’s Day? If you love someone you should tell them all the time. Not just one day a year. She’s always felt that way, even after being married for almost seven years with two kids. 

She does have a point, you know. We should tell those we love how we feel a lot more often than we do.

Of course, she makes sure her daughters have Valentine gifts, and helps them make cards for their friends and grandparents (us), and buys them valentine themed shirts for pictures. One year she even had a valentine photo shoot with them.

Don’t get me wrong. I do enjoy Valentine’s Day. My husband and I exchange cards, sometimes balloons or flowers, and go out for a great dinner. 

I’ve even started decorating a few areas in our house for Valentine’s Day; our kitchen table has a Valentine centerpiece collection, our foyer table has a few little valentine nuggets, and since I still work remotely, my home office has Valentine gnomes spread around. (I really don’t like gnomes but these are cute!) It’s fun and gives a bit of color and whimsy that’s so needed after all the glittery Christmas decor is put away.

A lot of women authors are beginning to recognize that Valentine’s Day is also a holiday that needs to be explored a bit more. I recently read a novel called “The Holiday Plan” by Emma Lynden about a woman who totally wanted to avoid Valentine’s Day and everything involved with it. She wanted to avoid it so much she booked a weeks’ vacation during Valentine’s week at a resort away from everyone. Except unbeknownst to her, there was a huge week-long event there for singles in honor of, you guessed it, Valentine’s Day. It’s a great read, and I highly recommend it. Whether you’re in a relationship or not.

The thing is, no matter how you feel about it, how you celebrate it, or not, it’s a day that’s here to stay. 

So if you’re not in a relationship spend the time with other friends in the same situation. Send each other flowers. Go out to dinner together, or arrange a private dinner at someone’s home. Or maybe even do a “chick flick” movie night/pajama party.

And if nothing else, just remember all that leftover valentine chocolate will be half price on February 15!

An Unconventional Valentine Treat

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I’ve been searching for something to make that’s different (and easy) for Valentine’s Day. Yeah, I know we can do brownies from a box mix and add white chocolate and pink M&M’s to the batter, and then maybe put frosting with sprinkles on them after they’re cooled. We can even bake them in a heart shaped pan.

Or the traditional chocolate chip cookie, again possibly with pink M&Ms or white baking chips rather than the traditional chocolate chips, but that’s still a bit too commonplace. Yes, they’re delicious but I kept thinking there had to be something a little more unique. And easy.

I do like to bake, as I think you all know, but that doesn’t really give me much leeway to improvise, since for me, baking has to be sort of precise or I’ll screw the whole thing up.

Now my husband really likes rice krispies treats. You know the ones made with marshmallows and such. But I’m really not a fan. One of his clients actually gives him a couple of the pre-packaged ones each week, because they know how much he likes them. Works for me.

And the other day she surprised him with a bag of heart shaped rice krispies treats that’s she’d dipped in chocolate and added red sprinkles.

Which was good, since I didn’t have to do it!

But still, there had to be something else unconventional I could come up with.

There are always the traditional pretzel sticks drizzled with chocolate or white chocolate tinted pink, but neither of us are really into pretzels.

Then I came across several recipes for Valentine’s Chex mix snacks. Well, I like sweets as much as anyone, but I also like salty as well, so this sounded like a great combination to please everyone.

So why not?? Anyway, I’m sharing the recipe now, and I think I’ll get my husband to make this one with me. With the Super Bowl this weekend, it sounds like a great addition to our junk food snacks that we’re planning, so why not see what happens?

Let me know if you try it as well. It’s always interesting to compare notes!

Valentine Snack Mix

  • 2 cups corn chex cereal
  • 1 cup mini pretzel twists
  • 2 cups rice chex cereal
  • 2 cups Honey Nut Cheerios
  • 1 bag valentine M&M’s
  • 3 cups white baking chips
  • 1 1/2 tsp vegetable oil
  • Valentine or colored sugar sprinkles.

Prepare large sheet pan with parchment paper and set aside.

In a very large bowl combine cereals, pretzels, and M&M’s. Stir to combine well.

In medium bowl combine 3 cups baking chips and vegetable oil. Microwave 30 seconds; stir and microwave another 15 seconds. Stir until melted and smooth. If needed, microwave another 15 seconds, stirring for 10 seconds between each time. Pour over snack mix.

Working QUICKLY gently stir until all ingredients are coated and then quickly transfer to prepared baking sheet, spreading into one even layer. Immediately add remaining M&M’s on top and additional sprinkles. Add a bit of additional melted baking bits if desired. Allow chocolate to firm up and harden either on counter or in fridge. Break into pieces and serve.

Please note: I found this recipe online at chelseasmessyapron.com. So it’s not my own creation.

The Flamingos’ Valentine Creations

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So you’ve read about the flamingos’ pink chocolate baking party, so now it’s time to post some of the winning recipes. After all, how could we really select just one winner from all the goodies?

And if you haven’t read about the party, which was published on January 27, be sure to read it here before you go any further!

We had a tough time deciding which desserts were the best. All of the flamingos did a great job. In fact we didn’t realize that flamingos were so talented when it comes to baking! (We may have to hire them if we’re ever able to have another one of our flamingo pool parties!)

The pink flamingo cakes were gorgeous and beautifully decorated. It was a lot of work, but we decided we’ll have a cake decorating party one of these months and we won’t have to cut them to taste them and mess them up!

So it was a difficult decision, and required quite a bit of tasting, but….someone had to do it!

Here are the top three winners. We’ll let you decide which one won first prize.

Hint: all the flamingos agreed as to who the winner was!

Dark Chocolate Raspberry Fudge (The flamingos borrowed this from Taste of Home Magazine)

  • 10 oz package white baking chips
  • 1 tsp softened butter
  • 3 cups dark chocolate chips
  • 14 oz can sweetened condensed milk
  • 1/4 cup raspberry liqueur
  • 1/8 tsp salt

Place while baking chips in single layer on small baking sheet; freeze 30 minutes. Line 9″ square pan with foil; grease foil with butter.

In large microwave safe bowl combine dark chocolate chips and milk. Microwave uncovered on high for 2 minutes. Stir. Microwave in additional 30 second intervals, stirring til smooth. Add liqueur and salt. Add white baking chips and stir just til partially melted. Spread into prepared pan and refrigerate one hour til firm.

Using foil, lift fudge out of pan. Remove foil and cut fudge into 1″ squares. Decorate with pink sprinkles or pink sanding sugar (very important). Store in airtight container in refrigerator. They won’t last long!

Pink Chocolate Chip Cookies

  • 1 cup butter, slightly softened
  • 1 pouch sugar cookie mix
  • 2 cups powdered sugar
  • 2 cups chocolate chips (Noite: you can also use white chips or a combination of the two)
  • Red food color gel

Preheat oven to 325 degrees.

Cream butter til smooth, not soft, Using toothpick add food color gel, one dab at a time until it reaches the right shade of pink. Add cookie mis until well blended; add powdered sugar and beat til blended. Note: dough will be crumbly, not smooth. Stir in chocolate pieces by hand.

Drop by tablespoonfuls onto cookie sheet and bake 12-14 minutes. Remove from oven when slightly brown around edges but not squishy in the center, Cool 1-2 minutes on cookie sheet and then remove to wire rack for final cooling. Serve on plate decorated with pink hearts.

French Macaroons (borrowed by the flamingos from AllRecipes.com)

  • 3 egg whites
  • 6 tbl superfine (caster) sugar
  • 1 cup finely ground almonds (almond meal)
  • 1 1/2 tsp finely ground almonds for garnish
  • 1 1/3 cup confectioners sugar
  • Food coloring

Preheat oven to 320 degrees. Line baking sheets with parchment paper or silicon mat.

Whisk egg whites in a clean metal mixing bowl until thick, about 5 minutes, Whisk the superfine sugar into egg whites until thick, glossy and mixture holds soft peaks, 5-8 more minutes. Place a sieve over the bowl containing egg white mixture. Gently fold the almond meal and confectioners sugar into the egg white mixture, retaining as much air as possible.

Tint dough the desired color of pink and add a drop of flavored extract, if desired. Spoon meringue into a piping bag fitted with a 3/8 inch tip. Pipe 1 inch disks of meringue onto the prepared backing sheets, leaving about 2 inches between cookies, (This wasn’t easy for the flamingos, but they did it!)

Let the cookies stand at room temperature for 15 minutes to form a thin skin on top. Pick up the baking sheets and let drop fromseveral inches above the work surface to adhere cookies to the baking sheets. Yes, that’s what they did!

Bake in preheated oven til tops are dry, about 15 minutes; let cool completely on baking sheets before peeling off the parchment paper. Stick together with a small amount of raspberry jam, if desired.

How Did Valentine’s Day Become a Thing? Part Two

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Yesterday I started writing about what I’d found on line about how Valentine’s Day started and became what it is today. If you haven’t read it yet, I’d actually suggest that you do before you continue.

From what I discovered, it certainly didn’t start out in a very romantic way. Not when people were being imprisoned and beheaded.

So let me continue the story.

I had mentioned Chaucer writing that poem “Parliament of Fowls” for King Richard II, which evidently caused romantic ideas to become more popular. And no, I haven’t read it. Chaucer and other writers of the time celebrated romance between knights and their ladies, many of noble lineage, who could never marry. (Which was usually because the lady was already married, but that’s a whole other subject.) And by the 1400’s these nobles had begun writing poems known as “valentines” to the ladies who were the subject of their attention.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve never had a guy write me a poem, and based on some of the writing I’ve seen from that era, I don’t think I’d want one. But that was a different time. Plus, since the literacy rate wasn’t real high then, could the subjects of their attentions even read them? And did those knights actually write them themselves or pay someone to do it for them? Food for another blog.

But the holiday slowly developed and evolved, with traditions that are still around today.

Exchanging cards didn’t become popular until the 1840’s when the first mass produced cards were made in the U.S.  Now, did you know that these first cards were sold by Esther A. Howland, known as the “Mother of the American Valentine”? She is evidently credited with commercializing Valentine’s Day cards here in the U.S. Although I’ve never heard of her, and probably you haven’t either, my source says she is remembered for her elaborate, crafty cards made with real lace, ribbons, and colorful pictures she called “scrap.” So, Hallmark, you have Ms. Esther to thank for a lot of your success! According to the last figures I saw, 145 million valentine cards are exchanged every year, not counting the homemade ones.

Which brings us to Cupid. I’d always wondered about that little guy and how he came to be associated with Valentine’s Day. After all, who goes around nearly naked with a bow and arrow shooting people, and that’s supposed to be a symbol of love?

Well, Cupid actually evolved from the Greek god of love named Eros, who was said to be a handsome immortal man with the power to make people fall in love, although I’m not sure it involved a bow and arrow. Sometime in the 4th century BC the Romans adopted Eros into their mythology, re-named him Cupid, and made him into the image of what we know today. And because he was originally known as the god of love, it sort of figured he’d become associated with Valentine’s Day, even though that didn’t happen until around the 19th century.

What about red roses? Giving flowers didn’t become a popular custom until the 17th century, It’s said that King Charles II of Sweden learned about flowers being paired with specific meanings on a trip to Persia, and when he returned home to England he introduced the tradition to Europe, and the act of giving flowers on special days, including Valentine’s Day became popular. And of course, red roses with their rich deep color, were sent to symbolize a deep love for the recipient.

Then there’s chocolate. Everyone I know loves it, and it’s especially important for Valentine’s Day. But did you know the first heart-shaped box of chocolates was created by Richard Cadbury who was the son of Cadbury founder John Cadbury. How did he come up with the idea? To increase sales, of course. The first heart shaped box of chocolates was introduced for Valentine’s Day in 1861, and today more than 36 million heart-shaped boxes of chocolate are sold each year.

Guys, are you paying attention here?

Now one more important item to discuss; those cute colorful little valentine conversation hearts. I don’t know anyone who hasn’t either received them or given them for Valentine’s Day. But do you know their history? It’s not really romantic.

It all started when Boston pharmacist Oliver Chase invented a machine that simplified the way throat lozenges were made, which also resulted in America’s first candy-making machine when Chase decided to shift his focus to making candy instead of the lozenges. He founded the New England Confectionary Company, today known as Necco. Sound familiar? And in 1866 the first messages were printed on Necco sweetheart candies. Although those were bigger than the version we have today it sure started a trend, didn’t it?

And one of the first messages? “Married in white you have chosen right.” Well, it was 1866.

So now you have all the information you’ve possibly wondered about Valentine’s Day.

But you can also research all of this yourself as well, and if you find anything different, it’s most likely because you’re looking at a different website. Let us know if you find something else.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

How Did Valentine’s Day Become a Thing? Part One

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I’ve always sort of wondered about that, so this year I decided to do a little research on it. Nothing in depth, though, but I was able to find a lot of information on line.

The problem? A lot of seemingly conflicting articles that may or may not be that accurate. Or that romantic, for sure.

Now I’ve heard of St. Valentine, but really didn’t know much about him. I figured he probably was someone who spent his life bringing couples together, marrying them in romantic settings for a happily ever after. As a writer, I was hoping for a truly “A-hah!” moment that would tell the perfect story.

Well, I was wrong. Sort of. And I also discovered several different sites (Good Housekeeping, Wikipedia,  and History.com) that told different stories, so I’m going to try and condense what I came up with, but please don’t take my word for it. Do your own research. This is a blog, after all, not a history book! And I did at least name my sources,

Here’s some of what I found out.

There were actually three Saint Valentines, but the one seemingly associated with our V-Day was a 3rd century Roman priest and physician who secretly married young couples against the orders of the authorities. (Of course the marriages were illegal in the eyes of the state.) The reason? The authorities were afraid married soldiers would be distracted from their duties if they had a wife and family. He was caught and imprisoned, and eventually beheaded on, you guessed it, February 14. 

There’s also a story about another Saint Valentine during that same time period who was the Bishop of Terni. He also was said to have performed secret marriages and eventually beheaded. Then there’s possibly another Valentine who was imprisoned supposedly for attempting to help Christians escape Roman prisons where they were beaten and tortured. This Valentine was also imprisoned and supposedly sent the first valentine greeting to a young girl he’d fallen in love with (supposedly the jailer’s daughter) and signed it “from your Valentine”.

History.com says there isn’t necessarily a lot of proof to substantiate which story is true. Evidently Valentine was a popular name during those times. Real person? Three real persons? Or a myth? Your guess is as good as mine! Either way, it’s not very romantic, at least in today’s standards.

Evidently several centuries later the idea of putting romance into the St. Valentine’s feast day evolved through the writings of the English author Geoffrey Chaucer, who write a poem called “Parliament of Fowls” which contained the line “For this was on St. Valentine’s Day, when every bird comes there to choose his mate.” Wow, romantic sayings were sure different then! I’m not sure what that means or even has to do with love, but it was believed back then that lovebirds began mating on that day, so I guess that’s one reason. (And that’s also why we use the term “lovebirds”)

Chaucer’s poem was supposedly written to celebrate King Richard II’s engagement to Anne of Bohemia on that date. She was 16 and his second wife. It’s unclear if it was originally a love match because in those days, traditionally royal marriages were arranged for strategic purposes.

So far I’m not seeing a real romantic story here…at least nothing I’d use to suggest flowers, romantic dinners, and boxes of chocolates!

But I did find a few more less-gory tidbits in my research, that I think you’ll find interesting.

This somewhat fractured Valentine’s Day history continues tomorrow, including some interesting facts about the cards and candy we traditionally see at this time of year, with Part Two of “How Did Valentine’s Day Become a Thing?”

Flamingos and (Pink) Chocolate

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Just a few days ago the flamingos came to me with a dilemma. A very serious one, at least to them.

You see, they were trying to figure out what to do for Valentine’s Day and they were really not sure what they could do that would be extra special. And lots of fun. Because as you know, flamingos are all about fun!

But they also wanted it to be something different. Something they’d not done before.

Of course they had to have their special pink flamingo cocktails like they always do at their parties, but they wanted to add a special touch. It couldn’t be just any old Valentine’s Day party.

They needed a theme. Something pink of course, and something to fit in with the sweet theme of the day.  

I promised them I’d come up with something perfect. Fortunately, my best friend Karen is an event and party planner, so who better to talk this over with than her! Plus, she also loves flamingos!

And she quickly came up with a perfect idea. A chocolate treat baking party. Only everything that was prepared had to be in shades of pink as well as having chocolate as the main ingredient. It IS for Valentine’s Day, you know.

So the Flamingo Pink Chocolate Recipe Party was planned and scheduled! The flamingos would select their recipe in advance, buy their ingredients, and then pair off in my kitchen to create their pink chocolate masterpieces! 

While being served pink champagne and pink Valentine martinis, of course. 

You may remember they’d taken over my kitchen once before, turning everything pink and even bringing in little pink ovens and other appliances to use for preparing their food. But they cleaned up really well after themselves, and everything was back to normal the next day! And they pinkie promised they’d do it again.

How can you resist a flamingo giving you a pinkie promise?

Now the party plans were in full swing. Karen designed a beautiful party invitation on creamy pink card stock with fancy cursive fonts and using embellishments of tiny feathers and pink crystal hearts. Definitely suitable for framing. The flamingos loved it and quickly distributed them to their friends, who immediately said they wouldn’t miss this event for anything!

They quickly got to work, searching through recipes and even borrowing a couple of my cookbooks for their very best ideas for the perfect pink chocolate treat! After all, as part of their participation in the event, they had to submit their selected recipe to Karen who was making a flamingo pink chocolate recipe booklet to be given as party favors…after the contest was over, of course!

The big day finally arrived. I walked into my kitchen that morning and it had already been transformed into a pink wonderland of pink kitchen equipment, from mixers to pot holders to small pink ovens, set up at individual baking stations. There were even pink mixing bowls and Valentine utensils set out for the participants to use. How they did it so quickly and quietly I have no idea, but they ARE flamingos, you know….

Of course on the party day, the guests arrived perfectly on time, carrying their (pink) bags of ingredients. They were greeted by my husband, wearing his best pink and white tuxedo, and he presented each of the birds with a specially designed flamingo valentine party apron, and of course a flute of pink champagne!

Let the party fun begin!

You should have seen them! Pink feathers everywhere, squawking and whistling to each other as they worked, sipping pink champagne and pink martinis, flour and sugar flying all over the kitchen!

Maybe this wasn’t the best idea??

However, it was all worth it when the flamingos presented their final creations to us for judging. They’d certainly gone all out, not only in making their desserts, but in their presentation of the finished creations, adorned with shaved chocolate, strawberries, raspberries, and even pink roses!

It was a sight to behold! There were pink cookies, pink flamingo cakes, chocolate and raspberry desserts, pink chocolate fudge, even pink macaroons!

And the winners? Well, it was definitely a difficult decision, and required quite a bit of tasting each entry, just to be sure we selected the right one.

To find out who won, and even get a copy of a few of the recipes, be sure to read “The Flamingos’ Valentine Creations” to be published on February 5,

And believe it or not, the next morning when we came downstairs, my kitchen was back to normal, except for a big plate of Valentine goodies the flamingos had left us as a gift for letting them use our kitchen. Oh, and the last bottle of pink champagne!

I guess we’ll let them do this again. As long as we still get to be the judges!

Hey, Cupid! It’s Been Another Year!

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“Did you forget something?

Like that certain person I’ve been waiting for? I didn’t have him/her last year, and you said just wait. Next year will be different. Trust me, you said.

So Valentine’s Day is almost here. And guess what!? I’m still single. Still by myself. And there’s no one on the horizon. Again.

Cupid, I really, really don’t like Valentine’s Day. And I’m starting to really not like you!”

Is that you? Are you feeling that way? Again?

It’s been a long year since last Valentine’s Day. You were so glad when it was over last year. And you really thought this year would be different.

But it’s not.

You still cringe when you walk by the huge display of cards with all the red hearts in the stores, each one seeming to be yelling at you and saying, “You still can’t buy me, can you?!” And you want to go over and grab a bunch of those cards and rip them in half.

Or you go to lunch or dinner with friends and see all the signs advertising valentine dinner specials for two, and decide you won’t go back to that restaurant again, at least for several months!

And yes, there are all those florist ads and diamond commercials reminding everyone if you’re planning on proposing to your special someone this Valentine’s Day, there’s still time to get that amazing ring……

You really don’t need that reminder, do you?

This is the time of year that constantly reminds my single friends that they’re just that. Single. By themselves. Alone. And most of them hate it.

I know how that feels.

I was in that same place for several years. I hated it. I hated being alone. I was lonesome. Valentine’s Day was one of the worst days. It seemed everyone around me was getting flowers, cards, and talking about all the great things their special someone was doing for them that day and how they were celebrating that evening.

It hurt. It stung. And it made me feel terrible, unloved, embarrassed, unworthy, and miserable. Which caused me to make mistakes with dating, and actually resulted in a disastrous marriage to an abusive man that fortunately lasted less than a year.

Why? Because I became desperate. And desperate people make poor decisions. I ignored warning signs. I thought they’d go away, or I could live with them. I changed as much about myself as I could to conform to what I thought he wanted. Just to not be alone.

Boy, was I wrong!

Fortunately I got away before things got really bad, and I realized there were things a lot worse than being alone, being single. And I decided it was better to be single and happy with my life, than married and miserable.

If that decision had been made around Valentine’s Day I would’ve bought myself my own valentine card, reminding me I really loved myself. Probably bought my own bouquet of flowers. Maybe even a box of candy. And celebrated finally loving myself and being happy to be me, and not trying to change myself to become someone I’m not, just to be in a relationship. If he didn’t care about me the way I thought I cared about him, well, he wasn’t worthy of me!

I’d wait for someone who was. I stopped looking. And discovered who I was.

And shortly after that I met my husband, and the rest is history.

Now I know you’re thinking, “but you don’t know how I feel. You don’t understand.” Yes, I do. So re-read what I wrote a few paragraphs ago.

Interestingly enough, both our daughter and her husband refuse to celebrate Valentine’s Day. According to them, why should we be forced to show someone we love them on only one certain day a year? Shouldn’t it be every day? It’s just a holiday made up for card stores and florist shoos to make money!

Something to consider….

Don’t let one day make you miserable for a month. It’s one day. Tomorrow it’ll all be forgotten. The Valentine cards will be replaced with leprechauns, bunnies, and colored Easter eggs.

And quite possibly a lot of those celebrants who looked like their Valentine’s Day was perfect…they resumed lives that really aren’t all that perfect, and all that happy. Many of them threw away those cards because they really didn’t mean what they said.

Think about that for a few minutes. Maybe the valentines in someone else’s home aren’t as loving aNd heartfelt as you think.

I know you thought this year would be different, and I’m truly sorry it isn’t. But I’m also here to tell you that when you least expect it, it’ll happen. All in its own time.

Don’t try to make it happen. Don’t force it. Life is too short to be unhappy, and too short to waste it with the wrong person because you settled for second or third best.

Cupid, Don’t Remind Me…

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When I was single I have to admit I didn’t like Valentine’s Day. In fact I hated it! It was just another reminder that I was alone.

No boyfriend; not even anyone I was remotely interested in. No husband. Just me and my dogs. And they didn’t send flowers or candy. I’m sure they would’ve if they’d known about it, and had any money, but they were…well, dogs.

I dreaded it. Every store I went in was decorated with hearts and Cupids and valentine balloons. Valentine cards were everywhere. Cute-sy sayings, rhymes, valentine cartoons….ugh. And all kinds of valentine decorations for that “someone special.”

Restaurants advertised special meals for couples. Florists advertised flower deliveries by tuxedo-wearing delivery men in limousines. Jewelry stores advertised special deals on diamond engagement rings, or other diamond jewelry as a valentine gift for your wife or sweetheart.

It just got to be too much sometimes.

Until I wanted to scream. Run away and not come back until February 15. When it was all over.

Which would’ve accomplished absolutely nothing except running away. Nothing would’ve changed except the date on the calendar.

At least by then Cupid would have already taken his arrows and flown away, and been replaced by a smiling drunken leprechaun. Who fortunately doesn’t remind anyone of their being alone.

Still….who wants to be reminded of how single they are? How no one seems to care for them? It causes us to lose hope, feel sorry for ourselves, and give up on our dream of ever having that special person in our life.

Cupid, please stop reminding those who aren’t in a relationship how much they’re missing out on. Because as we know, romantic relationships aren’t all romance 24/7.

Yes, it’s wonderful to have someone you love to share your life. And the ups and the downs as well. It’s great to have someone to go out to dinner with, to a movie, or to any number of places. To be with you when you don’t feel good, and support you when you’ve had a bad day.

There are also the times you neither one want to talk to each other, much less be in the same room, or even the same house; the times you just want to be by yourself and not have to entertain anyone else. When you don’t feel like eating dinner at all, much less cooking it for someone else. When you just want to look comfortable in your grubbiest, most comfortable clothes, not caring how you look; not wanting to have to impress anyone.

Then there are the times as parents when the kids are irritable, crying, argumentative, and just downright rude, and neither you or your spouse has the energy to deal with it. But one of you has to, and whoever ends up being “the bad guy” gets not only a set of frayed nerves, but sometimes has to listen to your spouse telling you how you handled it all wrong….

Cupid, are you listening?

This is what love really is.

These are the real life issues involved in a loving relationship. The issues that aren’t a part of Valentine’s Day, because they’re not the romantic ideal that this day celebrating love and romance, flowers and candy and candlelight dinners, is all about.

These are the real life loving situations, the ones that Cupid disappears from when they start to happen.

Because Cupid only shoots the love arrows into hearts; he doesn’t stick around to watch that love mature into a lasting relationship, with all the ups and downs; the good and the bad; the fun and the not-so-fun.

Cupid doesn’t mention the parts of a relationship that are real, and not the romantic idealized Valentine’s Day promoted by card stores, jewelry stores, florists, and restaurants. That’s not his job.

Those difficult parts of a relationship which make that relationship endure, are yours. There’s romance, which is certainly important, and there’s also the reality of day to day life. Which is the largest and most important part of that relationship.

So when Cupid keeps reminding you what you’re missing, just remember that what he’s promoting is only a tiny part of the story. A story that’s not for the faint of heart, and a story you have to be ready for.

It’s not all romance with candlelight dinners and walks in the moonlight. In fact, it’s the everyday routine, coupled with the reality of life, which makes those candlelight dinners and moonlight walks all the more special. They really don’t happen that often, but when they do, you both really appreciate it.

Cupid, you’re good at what you do. But maybe you should stick around a bit longer once your arrow has found its mark, to help your couples through the really tough times that are part of every relationship.

And please stop reminding those who haven’t yet been hit by one your arrows; who haven’t yet found that relationship, that they’re missing out. The right relationship is worth waiting for, and sometimes the longer it takes, the more lasting it will be.

And by the way, Cupid, where’s your special someone? I’ve never seen you with anyone. So maybe you actually know what we’re talking about here!