She had a great job offer. Everything she’d wanted. A good salary and excellent benefits. A company car. The chance to do something she knew she was good at, and the opportunity to travel while doing it.
What to do? It required moving two hours away, to a city she’d only visited but always wanted to live in. But she didn’t know anyone there. Recently divorced, she wanted a change in her life, but she was hesitant. What if she didn’t like it? What if she couldn’t do the job? What if she didn’t make new friends right away? What if…?
So she asked her friends. Some said go for it. Take the chance. You can come back and visit, and we’ll come see you. Some said “it’s an opportunity you can’t pass up.” They encouraged her.
Then there were the others.
“You don’t know anyone there, and you’ll be alone.”
“It’ll take a long time to make friends you can trust. Especially men. You’ll have to be so careful. There won’t be anyone you can turn to if you need something.”
“You won’t know your way around, and you’ll be so far away. Why do you want to take such a chance anyway?”
“What if it doesn’t work out? What if you don’t like it or the company decides you’re really not right for that position and they let you go? Then where will you be?” (Wow, talk about a pessimistic attitude!)
So what did she do?
Who did she listen to?
Or did she follow her heart?
Many times we’re faced with decisions we really don’t want to make. Or we think we know what decision to make until we mention it to friends who give us all the reasons we’re totally wrong in that decision. And suddenly we’re doubting ourselves to the point we don’t know what to do or which way to turn.
And an opportunity to make a change in our life flies out the window, and is given to someone else, because we’re afraid to make a decision on our own.
Maybe we’ve made bad decisions in the past and are afraid it’ll happen again.
Maybe others have adamantly told us many times what we should or shouldn’t do; actually scared us to the point where we didn’t trust our own instincts, our own decisions and began second guessing everything, to the point of not being able to make any decisions. Why? Because we’re either afraid of making the wrong one, or angering those other people who delight in telling us what to do. And all the time.
It’s certainly a good idea at times to run important decisions by other people, just to get other opinions. This is especially true if you’re married, because certain important decisions which impact the entire family need to be made as a family.
But when it’s a decision that impacts only you, what do you do? Do you trust your instincts, your reasoning ability? Certainly talking to friends about it is good, to get other ideas. But your friends and co-workers aren’t going through the same exact things you are; they aren’t in your position. They may even secretly be a bit jealous of the opportunity you have and want to talk you out of it for their own selfish motives.
But….in the end, you are the only one who can make that final decision. You have to not only follow your instincts, but your heart as well, after you’ve combined the two, and thought carefully about it. Even imagined yourself in the situation you’re considering.
So who will you listen to?
Just remember…you’re the one who will have to live with the outcome of your decision; not the ones who tell you what to do.
It’s your decision.