Overcoming the Black Hole of Depression

If you haven’t ever experienced depression, it’s very difficult to understand the depth it can cause someone to sink into. It’s difficult to understand how hard it is to pull yourself out of it.

Depression is a thief that comes to steal your joy. Depression knocks on your door when you’re having a tough time, and says “I’ve come to talk to you about all of this.” And instead of encouraging you, which you sometimes don’t want to hear anyway, it agrees with you. Yes, things are bad for you. They’re even going to get worse.

And you start to believe it.

Depression is real. It hurts. It captures you, grabs you with its strong arms and squeezes. It holds you close and begins to suck all the air from your body, until you feel like you can no longer breathe.

Depression wraps you in its paralyzing grip and keeps you from moving. It keeps you tied to the chair you’ve put yourself in, unable to move. Unable and even unwilling to talk to anyone, because Depression has told you you’re not worthy. That no one wants you. That you are incapable of doing anything productive or worthwhile. That the rest of your life is going to be like this, so you might as well give up and resign yourself to those facts (according to Depression); you’re no one, you’re worthless, and even worse, you don’t deserve anything any better than where you are and what you have right now.

Depression puts you in a hole and begins to throw the dirt in on top of you. And because you believe Depression’s lies, you lie down in that hole and just stop trying. You no longer have the will to try to climb out, because you’re totally convinced that Depression is telling you the truth.

And at that point, you start welcoming the dirt that is being shoveled over you. Because it will make the pain go away. And it’s easier to accept being in that hole than it is to grab onto the sides and begin pulling yourself out. Because it’s not going to get any better.

Depression is a liar. Depression is a thief. Depression exists to steal the happiness that you deserve. Because Depression is only happy when it makes others unhappy. And it’s really good at what it does.

But Depression only wins when you allow it to.

That black hole can go away; you can climb out, shake the dirt off, and show the world, and Depression, that you are a winner. You are worthwhile. You are loved, and you are capable of doing the things you want to do!

So how do you do that? It’s easy, but yet it’s not. You have to make yourself climb out of that black hole. You have to tell yourself on a daily, and sometimes hourly, basis that this black hole of depression is NOT your lot in life; that it is NOT where you’re supposed to be.

You have to set a plan for your life. What do you really want to do? Is it a job? What kind of job? You don’t know? What do you like to do? What do you LOVE to do? And how can you put that love of whatever it is into a career?

Is it a lifestyle change? That’s scary as well, because you’re getting ready to turn your entire world upside down, and you don’t really know what’s going to happen once you do. But you know it’s going to be OK. You just don’t know how or when.

It’s certainly not something you can force into happening, and it’s not something you can do overnight. It took a while to get into that pit of depression, and you’re not going to get out of it overnight.

But by setting goals for yourself, making plans, and sticking to those plans, you can crawl out of that pit of depression. No, it won’t be easy, because nothing worthwhile ever is easy. Start by setting out that goal that you want to accomplish. And write it down. It may be a job, or a change in your lifestyle. It may be a change in relationships.

Write that goal down, where you can see it on a daily basis, and then plan how you’re going to accomplish that goal; what steps you need to take to make it happen; and how long you think it will take. Then make it a point each day to do something to achieve your goal, and write those steps and accomplishments down. How else are you going to be sure you know where you’re going and how you’re going to get there? And how will you know how much closer you are each day to achieving that goal?

It may go slowly at first, but you’ll be surprised when eventually you see changes in your life. Small ones, yes. But changes for the better.

You’ll have setbacks on those goals. Because that’s a part of life. But the other part of life is what you do to turn those setbacks around. Instead of saying to yourself, “well that didn’t work, so why try anymore because I’ll never do it?” you tell yourself, “well they didn’t appreciate what a great person I am, so I’ll just try something else!” Yes, that might not work either, but how will you know until you try?

Because one of those tries is going to work, and when it does, you’ll realize that was what you were waiting for all along.

Good things are worth waiting for, and worth all of the steps it takes to make them happen. We just don’t realize it at the time. We want instant gratification, and that just doesn’t happen in real life.

And one day when it all starts to come together you will suddenly realize Depression has gone away, and been replaced with a joy and peace you never thought you would have again. And it’s a great feeling.

So what are you waiting for? Tell Depression you are done, once and for all. The black hole isn’t where you’re supposed to be.

I’ve been there. I’ve done that. And I survived. You will, too.

So what are you waiting for? Take out your pen and paper and begin writing out your plan. And then make that plan happen.

And let me know how it works out.

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