Monthly Archives: January 2024

If You Don’t Like to Have Your Photo Taken…

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Because you think you aren’t pretty enough…

Or you don’t like the wrinkles you’re seeing on your face…

Or you don’t like your teeth…

Or you don’t like your hair…

Just remember….

Your face is a combination of hundreds of people who were in love throughout time. 

How much more beautiful can you be than that?

My mother always hated having her picture taken. I have pictures of her but very few with her smiling. The ones I do have with that beautiful smile are so precious to me.

I don’t really like my pictures when they’re taken either. I don’t like the way I look because I don’t like the way my smile looks. It seems like I’m posing and I don’t look natural. I even use a photo that’s almost ten years old on my Outlook profile because it’s one I actually like.

But after reading the quote on Facebook that began this post, it gave me a whole new look on picture taking, as well as how I perceive the way I look.

I never thought about the way I look being a part of how others before me looked. Yes, I know people have said how I resemble my mom, and how she looked a lot like her mother. But I’ve never thought about how far back the resemblances go. 

My face is a combination of my mom and dad, which is a combination of their parents. Which is also a combination of their sets of parents. And so on. We can keep on going until we get into hundreds of people that we’re related to, and who’ve contributed to our lineage. And our looks.

Those relatives may not look anywhere near the same as we look today, because of different styles of clothing and hair and other facial expressions.  But if we look closely enough, the resemblance is there.

Early pictures of my mother show a beautiful young woman, her exciting life ahead of her.  A life she was excited about. I have no pictures of my mother’s mother at an early age, but I can imagine those pictures would show the same resemblances.

And looking at my own baby pictures, compared to my daughter’s baby pictures? And her firstborn daughter’s pictures, you see a stronger resemblance than ever.

So why do we not like our own pictures, the more we see them? Because we’re looking at them with our own eyes, rather than through eyes of generations before us.

We may change somewhat as the years go by, but that strong family resemblance in the eyes and other facial features don’t go away. And then we see ourselves in our children and their children.

And so it will continue through future generations.

All because two people fell in love and created a beautiful combination of themselves.

It’s certainly something to think about.

 Like I just did.

Matters of the Heart, Part 35

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In our household, when one of us gets an early morning text, it’s either about an interesting news article, a funny story, a cute thing one of the grandkids did, or something we probably don’t want to know about.

In our case, it usually starts with “guess what!” And goes downhill from there. With usually something that we aren’t expecting and really don’t want to know.

And when you answer such a question with “what?”, you usually don’t really want to hear the answer, and it seems to take forever to get it anyway. Which was the case Monday morning just two days ago.

l didn’t expect to hear Ben reply with  “My pacemaker alarm went off!”

Which as far as we knew then, meant we had 30 days to get it replaced. So he texted his cardiologist, and then called the doctors’ offices and the pacemaker department. 

You can imagine how we both felt at that point. After all, the pacemaker is basically keeping him alive.

Fortunately we’ve since found out we have 90 days to get it replaced, which would be sometime in March. But does it make me feel better? I guess. But there’s still that bit of worry in the back of your mind…what if…?

Now of course, we were making a few jokes about it, because if you can’t find something to laugh about, you’ll end up crying or driving yourself crazy. 

One of my friends said all the hassle and stress of trying to get his blood sugar under control probably sped up the process. Hmmm, could be right on that one.

I said it was probably the stress of watching the Kansas City Chiefs game the night before! Which was quite stressful for us Chiefs fans! And will probably be equally as stressful when they play the Baltimore Ravens on Sunday.

But regardless of why the battery life turned out to be a little less than the estimated 5 years, we now know it will shortly be replaced with a brand new pacemaker rather than just a battery. I guess it’s like a trade in?

And what happens to the old one? Do we keep it as a souvenir? A paperweight? Does it get recycled?

But thinking about all of this…I have to say it really makes you stop and think about the true ramifications of all this. 

Ben needs the pacemaker to keep his heart in a normal rhythm. It also serves as a defibrillator. It helps keep his heart beating process which keeps him alive. 

As long as it’s working. Now we trust his doctor completely, and I know he’ll make sure it’s replaced in a timely manner.  But I can’t help but think about the what if’s. It’s natural, of course, especially with everything Ben has been through over the years, and particularly the last two months.

But he’s a survivor, and he’s proved that a number of times. And he’ll continue to do so.

But it was still a bit unnerving when the pacemaker alarm went off again on Tuesday. 

And again this morning as I was posting this blog.

It’s a countdown we don’t need to be reminded of.

So Many Books, So Little Time

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I always totally enjoyed collecting books that I knew I’d read eventually. Then I started running out of space for them all. And eventually had no choice but to donate the ones I’d already read to others who’d appreciate them as much as I did.

That was hard, because to a book lover like myself, those books became cherished friends, and it was like giving away a part of myself. For that same reason I don’t like loaning a book to someone because I’m afraid I’ll never get back, and when I do, it certainly won’t be in same condition as when I loaned it.

But in order to accommodate my reading obsession, I had no choice if I wanted to continue my favorite hobby of reading a good book. As often as I could.

Why reading, you may ask? Why books? Why spend so much spare time reading books when there are other things to do? 

It’s actually quite simple.

Books can take you to places you’ve always dreamed of going without ever having to leave your chair. Or in my case, quite often my pool float.

Books introduce you to all kinds of new people who end up becoming old friends. When you come to the end of that book you continue to wonder what else those people are up to now. (That’s the great thing about reading a series. The stories continue on in several more books with the same characters continuing to live their lives and pursue new adventures. And you always keep hoping the author will decide to write just one more about your now old friends.)

Books teach you to be happy by yourself, because they make you feel

like you’re never alone. You’re with interesting people who take you to interesting places and introduce you to new ideas.

Reading a really good book makes you want to climb inside and live with the characters wherever they’re living. Help them do what they’re doing, and even sit down and have a cup of tea or a glass of wine with them as you both share your life stories.

To an avid reader, the movie made from a book is almost never as good as the book itself, because so many parts are left out of the movie for the sake of time, and the characters are not as developed in the movie as they are in the book. Many of the nuances in books just can’t translate onto the screen.

And why do avid readers find it difficult to pick out their favorite book? Because we find little pieces of ourselves scattered throughout so many of the stories we read. Combine the stories and you figure out the person. One person isn’t just one story. It’s all of them.

Thousands of people read the same book but in each person’s mind the chapters look different and the setting changes. We may all be reading the same book but it’s unique to each one of us. I picture the characters most likely in an entirely different way than another reader. But we both enjoy the same book.

My husband is the exact opposite. He likes to read, but only newspapers and magazines and online news sites. He finds reading a book boring, and just wants to see the movie. We’ve been together over 40 years and I still don’t get it. But I’m still trying to get him to understand.

And while I still love the feel of a real book in my hands, in order to be able to accommodate my reading habit and not having a gigantic library in which to house all my books (although I’m still hoping to win the lottery so I can actually have such an amazing space), the next best thing to me is my Kindle. I debated long and hard before taking the plunge, but within an hour, I was hooked!

I now have over 1,000 books in my Kindle library, many already read, but a lot of samples, so I can read a bit of the book before I buy it. And those samples are there because I don’t want to forget about them because they all really look interesting! How many samples out of all the ones I have have I actually discarded? Maybe four or five. And yes, when I make that decision, I do feel a bit guilty!

Do I have a reading obsession? Absolutely. Is it a bad thing? Not at all! It’s not like I’m spending money on designer shoes and purses, or expensive jewelry. I’m expanding my mind and actually saving money! Kindle books are less expensive.

Right?

And now, I have about 30 more minutes to read in the book I’m reading now, so it’s time to get back to it. I have more adventures waiting.

When Opportunity Knocks

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You don’t leave it standing on the doorstep. You invite it in and feed it chocolate cake.

I read that in a book recently by Carolyn Brown, and it really made me smile. Such a great southern way to make a statement. But it sure makes sense.

Think about it. I picture a well dressed man, most likely in his early 40’s, holding a briefcase and knocking on a front door while standing on the porch, with blue hydrangeas in full bloom in the background.

He carefully taps on the brass door knocker as he’s smiling, waiting for the door to open, ready to present an unexpected opportunity to one of the unsuspecting people inside.

He’s invited in, and presents the opportunity while sitting at the table in a sunny kitchen, with a cup of coffee and a slice of fresh baked chocolate cake.

Personally, I would have offered wine and a fruit and cheese board, but that’s just me.

Now of course we’re not really talking about a literal chocolate cake, or cheese board, but it makes a great visual.

The point is, when an opportunity comes your way, don’t immediately dismiss it. Don’t form an instant negative opinion because it’s not exactly what you had in mind.

Don’t think of all the reasons you shouldn’t take a chance, or sometimes even think seriously about that opportunity.

So it isn’t exactly what you thought you’d like to do, or where you’d like to live.

It may even seem like it’s a step backward, although there’s a real potential to advance a lot farther than you are now. And probably quicker than it took you in your current situation.

So what do you do? Ignore it totally? Agree to think about it? Talk it over with a few others? Or jump in and decide to take a chance?

And maybe have another piece of chocolate cake?

Or maybe that cheese board with a glass of wine!

Don’t be afraid to take a chance. And don’t take too long to decide. It may not come again.

Or opportunity may go somewhere else where he/she’s wanted and open to taking a chance. And they’ll be the ones enjoying that chocolate cake, and maybe even the wine and cheese board!

If You Can’t Push Through Your Wall of Problems

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Climb over them. Tunnel under them. Or go around them.  There’s more than one way to get to your goal.

If you don’t try to push through that wall of problems, you’re never going to be able to solve them. 

And if you don’t solve them, you’re going to be stuck behind a wall that does nothing but get bigger and thicker and taller. 

What’s stopping you?

Fear? Lack of self confidence? No motivation? Not wanting to step out of your comfort zone?

Those aren’t good reasons. They’re excuses. And excuses get you nowhere.

If that’s where you want to be, then you’ll be stuck behind that wall of problems for the rest of your life.

And you’ll always wonder what you’re doing wrong.

How Do You See the Glass in 2024?

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Half empty?

Half full?

Or maybe it’s leaking and there’s no plug to stop it.

That’s a decision you need to make. Now. The new year is only a few days old, but already you’re complaining that it’s just a repeat of last year.

The same problems, the same situations that you were stuck in last year. It’s a new year and you’re still miserable. What’s the point?

So the glass is half empty? Or is it leaking like a sieve and you can’t find anything to plug the hole?

Are you going to waste this entire new year ahead of you concentrating on everything that’s still wrong in your life? Complaining, feeling depressed, and concentrating on everything that you think is wrong in your life instead of looking at what’s good in your life, and finalizing and working those plans to change what’s still wrong?

If you continue to see the glass as half empty, it’s only going to start draining down further, and eventually it’ll be empty all the way.

Then what do you do?

Sitting around and looking at things negatively isn’t going to make that glass fill up; it’s not going to plug the hole that allows what’s still inside to pour out and become wasted.

“But you don’t understand how I feel. You have a good job/a nice home/a boyfriend or girlfriend/husband or wife/you’re not in pain all the time and facing surgery/your kids aren’t in big trouble/you’re not down to your last few dollars and can’t pay your bills/you’re not stressed about your job/you’re not so busy you have no time for what you want to do….”

Sound familiar? Guess what? You have no idea what that other person is going through. Because you’re concentrating on how miserable your life is and comparing it to everyone else’s life when you have no idea what they’re going through.

They may be fine on the outside, but inside they may be going through just as many struggles, or more, than you. They just don’t share them and complain about them.

They look at things differently. They see the glass half full rather than almost empty. Sure, they want it fuller than it is, but they know things will improve. They’re working toward that goal by thinking positive, and doing things to reach that goal.

They know the glass is only half full right now, but they also know it’s eventually going to get more in it.

They’re out there working to make things happen. Sure, it’s not always easy, and there will certainly be setbacks, maybe even failures along the way. The glass will get a little fuller, but then it’ll drain out a bit. Again.

It’s never going to be completely full, because life isn’t always perfect. And if that’s what you’re looking for, your glass won’t even be half full; it’ll be almost empty.

There’s no quick, magic solution to fix your problems, and to make that glass fuller. When you turn on the faucet to fill your glass, it doesn’t instantly fill. It depends on how fast the water runs, and if you allow some to splash out because it’s running too fast.

Being miserable and telling yourself no matter what you do it’s not going to work becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. You’ll stay miserable and unhappy and your glass will keep draining until there really is nothing left inside.

But doing something to make the situation better, and doing it daily, will eventually result in the glass becoming fuller. You may not notice it at first, but all if a sudden you’ll see it differently and realize, it is fuller…and by more than half.

How do I know? I’ve been there. I compared my life to everyone else’s and thought mine would never be better. And until I started to see the glass as half full instead of half empty, I didn’t think things could ever be better.

My life isn’t perfect; no one’s is. At least no one I know. But my glass is a lot more than half full. And I work on it every day because I don’t ever want to see it half empty, or worse, almost empty, ever again.

Keep that in perspective. Write down the good things in your life. Not just the big things, but the little ones, too. Then do the same with the things you need to change. And then…write down how you’re going to change them for the better. And don’t stop until you have at least one idea on how to change each bad thing to better.

It’s all up to you, you know. It’s your glass you’re seeing. And you’re the only one who can change how you see it.

There’s a whole lot of new year left. Start filling that glass!

Resolutions…or Not? It’s 2024 Now.

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Traditionally almost all of us make at least one or two New Year’s resolutions. We say we’re going to lose weight, exercise more, get our financial lives together, or spend more time with our families instead of our jobs.

We really mean it when we make those resolutions. But by the end of the first couple of weeks, or at least by the end of January, all of those resolutions are forgotten. Discarded. We just can’t seem to make them work. It takes too much effort, or we lose interest.

Personally, I hardly ever make any New Year’s resolutions, because I know I won’t keep them. What’s so special about making a change in our lives simply because it’s a new year? If we don’t change ourselves and our way of thinking, turning over the date on the calendar isn’t going to do it.

And once again I didn’t make any resolutions. Instead of making resolutions I’m going to continue to be thankful for the things I have. The things that really matter to me. Because that’s what it’s all about.

In fact, I can almost bet that a lot of those resolutions many of you made Sunday evening on New Year’s Eve have already gone by the wayside. Or are already close to being gone and forgotten.

So here’s what I am thankful for.

Health – My husband’s as well as mine. He’s had a number of medical issues over the years…heart issues, high blood pressure, two cornea transplants, lung issues, sleep apnea, and most recently a bout with RSV which has led to steroid induced diabetes. But he’s still going strong and maintains the same upbeat attitude about life. I am still extremely healthy. I may be stressed, but who isn’t!? I’m not overweight. My cholesterol and other bloodwork are fine. With a number of friends and family members going through some serious health problems right now, good health is a huge deal!

Friends – Ben and I have several very close, very dear friends who are always there for us when we need them, just as we are there for them. They are not acquaintances. They’re our family, and we love each other dearly. I wouldn’t trade them for anything.

Our home – I may grumble about having to cook and clean, but we have a comfortable home. It may need fresh paint and more new carpet in a few more places, but it’s our home, where we raised our daughter, entertain our friends, and just enjoy being together.

A loving and helpful husband – Ben helps me around the house without my even asking. He does the grocery shopping and even cooks most nights, helps me clean and sometimes does the laundry. He is a gem, and I would not trade him for anything in the world.

Our children and our grandchildren – Our daughter Ashley and her husband Chris, who we consider our son, have now presented us with THREE beautiful grandchildren who are a constant source of joy to us. What could be any better?

Our pets – Our two dogs, Benji and Chloe, continue to be our constant loyal companions, and of course are spoiled rotten. And our cat Hershey, who is now 20 years old, continues to be in excellent health.

Our country – We live in a country where we are free to worship as we please without fear of being arrested because of our beliefs. We are also free to voice our opinions without fear of being imprisoned. Is it perfect? No; not by a long shot. We still have a lot of political unrest and other serious problems to reconcile. But even with all of the chaos we are experiencing, our country is still so much better than all of the rest.

Employment – Ben is semi retired and working part time in a job he totally enjoys. I am still employed full time in a job I truly enjoy with a great team of coworkers and a wonderful supervisor. Plus, I am able to work remotely here in my home office. I couldn’t ask for anything more in that regard.

Our Lord and Savior – who loves us unconditionally, who answers our prayers, even when we don’t like the answers, and promises us the gift of eternal life, just because we love him.

With blessings such as these, who needs New Year’s Resolutions?

What blessings do you have that you may take for granted every day? Stop and think about them. Even if your life may not be as perfect as you’d like right now, I can almost guarantee if you stop and think about it, you can think of at least five, if not more, blessings that you enjoy that many others wish they were lucky enough to have.

May each of you have a blessed and Happy New Year! Count your blessings rather than your resolutions, and if you wish to share those blessings, we’d love to hear them!