Monthly Archives: March 2024

It’s Still Not About the Bunnies

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For the last several weeks, all I’ve seen are these cute little bunnies, colored eggs, decorative Easter baskets, tiered tray designs with marshmallow peeps and chocolate eggs, and all kinds of other decorative items. All my favorite craft stores are full of bunnies and baby chicks, colored plastic eggs, garland and all manner of craft ideas. Then there are the grocery stores and candy stores with all the chocolate bunnies and chocolate eggs and more marshmallow peeps, you know, that colorful nothing-but-sugar concoction that’s been around since we were kids! I didn’t like them, then, either.  But I do like those Cadbury eggs!

And you can even buy or make Easter ornaments and decorate your own Easter tree, sort of like a Christmas tree. Two years ago I decided to make styrofoam Easter trees with mini Easter eggs and decorative grass. They turned out great, and I even made two for our grandchildren.

Then there’s the Easter Bunny. Our granddaughters haven’t been real fond of having their pictures taken with him in the past, but this year was finally different. Both of the girls were all smiles when they saw him, and didn’t mind having their pictures taken with him. But the biggest surprise was that our 15 month old grandson wasn’t afraid of him at all! He didn’t cry when he saw him, and he even let the Easter Bunny hold him for pictures! Things are looking up!

Yes, it’s Easter. And EVERYONE associates bunnies with Easter, right? Along with the colored Easter eggs, of course. And those previously mentioned marshmallow peeps. In all the colors. And now there are now new flavors. Not in this household!

But, as I like to remind us all every year at this time…it’s not about the bunnies. Or the colored eggs. Or the Easter egg hunts.

From what I’ve been able to determine, the legend of the Easter Bunny bringing eggs seems to have been brought to our country by settlers from southwestern Germany in the 1800’s. Since that time the Easter Bunny has gradually become the commercially recognized symbol of Easter.

Folklore tells us the Easter Bunny brings baskets filled with colored eggs, candy, and sometimes even toys to children the night before Easter. Sometimes the baskets might be hidden, and the children have to go and find them. Most likely, that’s how the tradition of the Easter egg hunt began.

But it’s still not about the bunnies. And it’s certainly not about a politician trying to sell autographed Bibles with a copy of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, etc. added to it. That, my friends, is all about making money for the person that is selling them; nothing more!

To those of us who are believers, Easter is about one thing. Not the bunnies or the chocolate eggs. It’s about the resurrection of Jesus Christ. The very name of the holiday may have come from an ancient holiday depicting the rites of spring, or rebirth from the bleakness of winter, but to us, it represents much more than a rebirth of the world. Easter is a celebration of the eternal life we have waiting for us when we leave this earth. In fact, our belief in the resurrection is the very foundation of our faith.

John 11:25-26 “Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?”

While Jesus was conducting his ministry on earth, He told His disciples what would happen to Him in order to fulfill the ancient scriptures, but of course, they really didn’t believe Him, and even tried to prevent it. Until they saw the truth for themselves.

We have read about the agony of the crucifixion. We have seen it depicted in countless movies and plays, sometimes in such a gruesome manner we have to look away. But the real crucifixion was much more gruesome than can be portrayed in a movie or a play. And our Lord suffered the most horrific pain, so we will be eternally with Him in heaven, along with all of our friends and family who also believe.

What a wonderful, unselfish, beautiful story. As wonderful as the Christmas story is, the Easter message is so much better. Because in this story, death is defeated for all time. The baby that was born at Christmas has grown up, became a man who is the son of God himself, and gave His very life to save ours, and has now defeated death itself.

Just imagine…the loved ones we have lost we will see again, and be reunited with them. We will know them, and they will know us, and we will be together. We will be eternal beings along with the Lord. And what a glorious day that will be! And just think of all the catching up there will be; and all the family members we will meet that we never knew before.

Many of us have lost family members and friends over the past couple of years, as well as many years ago. And I admit there are still times that I think about those loved ones, and how wonderful it will be to one day be with them again. To enjoy the serenity and peace of that heavenly home with those that I love the most. Because the Lord has said it, and I believe it.

You may choose to believe, or not. That is your choice, But I do believe, and I know in my heart there is so much more to come that we cannot imagine, because of what happened during this Easter season. No, it’s not about the bunnies. Yes, they’re cute and cuddly. But the true Easter story isn’t cute and cuddly. It’s real, and it’s not pretty. But it’s also the greatest love story that ever took place.

Matters of the Heart, Part 37

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After three heart valve replacements. numerous ablations, catheterizations, and cardioversions, two pacemaker installations, and the insertion of a watchman device to prevent blood clots from forming in the heart…what’s one more pacemaker insertion?

Actually, it seems visits to his cardiologists are actually becoming routine visits, rather than worrisome appointments that tend to make us think something could really be wrong.

Fortunately Ben has two excellent cardiologists, and the one who was scheduled to do this pacemaker replacement has done several procedures on him. He’s an excellent physician and a really great person.

Such procedures are of course scheduled for early mornings, but fortunately we didn’t have to be at the hospital until 8 am, rather than the crack of dawn. That certainly made it easier, at least for me. As I’ve said before, I’m not an early morning person. 

And after he got registered and we arrived at the cath lab where the procedure would be done, the whole team was waiting for us, ready to get him prepared for surgery.

I must say this was one of the most pleasant pre-op surgery experiences we’ve had. The nurses and technicians were fun to be around, and made everything enjoyable. Well, as enjoyable as it could be when facing surgery.

Ben was his usual upbeat self, joking around with them when they asked if he needed anything. And of course he said “a mimosa”, which promptly started a barrage of jokes about what kind of mimosa would be most appropriate for heart surgery, and if everyone could join in with him!

A small glitch took place when one of the nurses was unable to get the IV line in his vein. I guess he’s had so many surgeries and IV’s, his veins have had enough.

After several unsuccessful attempts, they had to call in a specialist to use an ultrasound machine to guide the needle in. Ben asked if the guy was experienced with such things, and they told him not to worry. It was his first day in the job, but he’d be fine! 

Which of course wasn’t true (he was the leader of that team) but he played along with everyone, telling Ben he thought he could do it! We were all laughing by then, and as he started he asked if anyone had any good stories to tell so we wouldn’t get bored. Evidently some of the surgeons start out like that before the actual procedure begins, just to lighten the mood. It makes sense.

But the technician got the needle in the first try with the ultrasound machine, and Ben said he didn’t even feel it! Now if that had been me, I would’ve passed out! I don’t do needles well!

And of course there was the continued joking around about which pacemaker was going to be switched out, since he has two! We suggested they write it on his chest which one was to be changed. Which led to a story about a surgeon who used to draw a picture on the patient’s arm after surgery, and how the patients looked forward to seeing what he’d drawn when they woke up!

Unfortunately Ben’s doctor doesn’t do that. Because it would’ve been a great story. I thought how cool it would be for him to wake up with a drawing of a heart or a pacemaker on his arm, and tell him it was permanent. But no, that will have the wait til another surgery.

Time passed fairly quick, though, and soon the anesthesiologist came in to see him to discuss his role in the procedure, and Ben still continued his jokes about wanting a mimosa, which the anesthesiologist went along with as well.

We also talked about how great it would be if we didn’t have to go through this to take care of the battery, and wondered why someone hadn’t invented a way to simply charge the battery by placing some sort of charging device on his chest on top of the pacemaker, sort of like charging a cell phone. 

Good concept, and most likely one day that will actually happen. Who knows?

Soon it was time to take him back, so Ashley and I told him goodbye and went to the waiting area until everything was over.

I still had no worries or concerns this time, unlike during some of the previous such operations. I guess we’ve gone through so many, by now they all begin to feel routine, even though they really aren’t.

It wasn’t long before his doctor came out to let us know it was all done; the pacemaker replacement went smoothly, and we could see him shortly. He’d be able to go back home after about an hour.

Which he did. And now, a few days later, the only evidence of the procedure is a bandage over the incision which stays on for two weeks, and the limitation not to raise his right arm over his head for two weeks, or lift anything heavier than ten pounds.

Other than that, he’s back to normal activities, and even enjoying his two birthday celebrations, and telling people his most expensive birthday gift was a brand new pacemaker! And it actually was, since this took place three days before his birthday.

And in another two weeks he should be off restrictions and able to start practicing his new hobby of pickleball! He’s excited!

So right now, life is good. His pacemaker is doing what it should, his new heart valve is functioning perfectly, and his watchman which is designed to stop blood clots, is also working well. His blood sugar finally seems to be regulated, his oxygen levels are staying where they should be, and his glaucoma still seems to be under control. 

More to follow when necessary. But for now, everything is going well! And we are looking for it to stay that way!

Matters of the Heart, Part 36

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As I write this we are only a few days from another heart procedure for Ben. 

Last November we discovered there were only a few months of battery life on his pacemaker. You know, the device that’s keeping him alive.

And now on Thursday morning he will be undergoing a surgical procedure to remove one of his existing pacemakers and replace it with a brand new, and most likely updated, pacemaker with a brand new battery. His other one is non-functioning, but unable to be removed because of the way it was implanted ( and not by his current doctor).

The last time we went through this was around 5 years ago. We’d hoped the battery would last around 7 years or so, but obviously the pacemaker has been working a bit harder than we’d thought, so as of right now there’s probably only about a months’ worth of battery life on this existing one.

Therefore, the need for surgery to replace it just three days before his birthday. What a birthday present he’s getting!

I must say it’s a bit unnerving to think about how the device that’s keeping him alive is slowly losing its battery life. We all are used to seeing how quickly the battery life of our cell phones seems to go down, and we panic when we hit that 10% mark, because we just can’t live without our phones!

I would say that analogy has a different meaning when we think about a pacemaker implanted in the body of ourself or a loved one. There’s no way to hook that device up to a charger at night and receive a full or even half charge by morning.

Who knows, though? Maybe technology over the years will improve to the point that can actually be done.  

However, for now, we’re still waiting for Thursday, and another heart surgery, although this one promises to be a short outpatient procedure which should have him back home by noon.

So we continue our daily life until then.  And prayerfully, Thursday will just be another routine doctor appointment, only one that lasts a little longer than normal, and has the patient sleeping through most of it! 

Stay tuned! We’ll let you know!

If I See a Picture in my Mind…

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Why can’t I draw/paint it? After all, it’s there in front of my eyes. I can see it. Clearly.

So what’s keeping me from taking a pen or pencil and sketching it on a piece of paper? What’s keeping my from painting it in the beautiful colors I see in my mind’s eye?

If it’s there where I can see it, why can’t I capture it so others can see it?

What’s stopping me? Actually it’s the fear that I can’t do it. My fear that it won’t be perfect. That it won’t look right. That it won’t be like what I see in my mind, because I keep telling myself I can’t do it.

What? Because I want it to be perfect as soon as I start. And that just isn’t going to happen. Because each of us has to start at the beginning of something…practice…keep at it; until we get to a point where we can say we’re pleased with what we created.

Like most of us, I don’t want to start out at the beginning and make mistake after mistake until I get it right. I want to be able to do it perfectly the first time.

And how many of us can say that we did that?  I daresay not many.

I know how to sew. I used to make most of my clothes a very long time ago. But I didn’t start out making tailored suits and such; I started out with aprons and simple skirts before I learned how to do the more complicated things.

I play the piano. Not a lot any more, although I’m starting to get back into it. When I first began, I could only play a few scales. I took weekly lessons and to practice daily. I had to learn how to read music, work at it, and that took time, and patience. I actually was very good at one time, and will be again, as long as I take the time to work at it again.

So why am I so frustrated when I try to do something else creative and I don’t do it right the first time? 

Most likely because the older I get, the less patience I have. I want to do it NOW, and not take the time to learn how to really make the most of the talents I have. I think I can draw and paint, but like the new music student I used to be, I couldn’t sit down that first day and play an entire song. I had to take my time and learn. And it didn’t happen overnight.

And now, although I have the desire, I finally realize I can’t just sit down and create a beautiful work of art without putting in the time it takes to learn how to do it. 

So what do you think? Is there something you want to do but don’t think you can? Try it. The only thing stopping you is yourself. 

Now I know I wrote about this last year, and I still haven’t really started my project. At least not like I wanted to. But I did try it, and finally finished my first piece. And yes, it’s a flamingo. And like my usual perfectionist self, I’m not totally happy with it.

But the thing is…I actually did it! It’s not great, but not what I thought it would be.

But it’s a start.

So now I’m going to stop beating myself up and resolve to learn to draw and paint the right way. I bought a couple of books, and THIS time I’m going to actually do all the exercises in them and practice my skills before I try another painting.

At least that’s my plan.  I may not ever sell a painting, but if I practice, and try it, and work at it, at least maybe I’ll create something frame worthy. For myself, if no one else.

And that’s what counts. So here I go….

Next time I write about my painting, I’m going to include a few pictures.

And hopefully in a few weeks!

Reflections on Another Generation

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We recently attended the celebration of life service for my almost 98 year old aunt. She was the youngest sibling of my mom and her sisters and brothers, born almost 14 years after my mother, who left this life 17 years ago.

Back in “those days”, in the 1920’s,  having a baby that late in life was embarrassing and almost unheard of. My mom was told her baby sister was found in the cabbage space, and my mom, who was about 13 at the time, went out to the fields and looked to see if she could find another baby. 

My aunt was born in the 1920’s. Her parents, my grandparents, didn’t even have electricity at the time, although they got it a few years later. They did have indoor plumbing, but still had an outhouse that we grandchildren who were born in the 50’s, did use on occasion.

My grandparents had a phone. They were one of the first families in the area who did. It was in the wall, and when it rang, the family members had to figure out whether it was for them, or other families because there were party lines and several families were on the same line, but had different rings for each family. There were actual operators who helped the families answer or place their calls. 

My grandfather was a farmer, working some 200+ acres of farmland with a mule and a plow. He raised chickens, cows, and pigs, along with his crops of potatoes, corn, and soybeans.

My grandparents actually had two kitchens in their house. They were back to back. One with a sink and a wood stove, and one with a sink, refrigerator, and a gas stove. They thought they had one of the most modern homes in the area. And most likely they did.

This was the era my mom and aunts and uncles grew up in. I’d never really thought about it until one of my cousins’ spoke about it in my aunt’s eulogy.

Just think of all the things she and her sisters and brothers had to adjust to from the years they grew up in until they passed from this life.

And think about all of the things we’ve seen change during our years of life so far.

From the ascent of television, to 8 tracks and CD’s, to computers and cell phones, and all types of changes involving all manner of connectivity. 

My aunt who passed away at 97 a few weeks ago never really totally understood how to use her cell phone, and still relied on her old rotary dial phone in her kitchen. Neither she nor my mother ever used a computer. 

None of my aunts and uncles, my mom and her four siblings, had ever been on a plane. They all learned to drive on stick shift cars with the gearshift on the steering column. My cousins and our spouses know how to do that, but our kids, they have no idea.

The lives of my father, who died over 60 years ago, and my aunt’s husband, who died almost 40 years ago, could possibly have been saved if the medical advances of today had been around back then.

These are just some of the things we’ve thought about over the last weeks with the passing of our aunt, the last of the Lang family siblings.

It’s been a time of reflection as well as a time of grieving and celebration of a long life well lived.

It also sets in motion a time of reflection of our lives to date, as well as a time of contemplation of the years we have left. Longevity runs in my family, and I am hoping for another 15-20 years, hopefully with good health. Although, my aunts and uncles developed severe Alzheimer’s and dementia in their later years, and my mom was just in the beginning stages of dementia when we lost her.

But no matter what the circumstances, at some point we will all enter into those late years, and we have no idea what they will bring. Our generation is entering a new time, and no matter how young or old we feel, all we need to do is look at the reality of our actual ages to make us realize that we are now looking ahead and seeing a much shorter road ahead of us than in back of us.

The changes we’ve seen in the world are numerous; too many to really count. 

And for those of you who are much younger than I am, you really can’t even begin to imagine the changes you’ll see.

Gives you a new perspective on life, doesn’t it?

Do IT Afraid

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“Fear is a funny thing. We need it to keep us safe. If there is something real that is threatening our life, we need to be afraid so that we can adjust accordingly to protect ourselves. The problem isn’t being afraid. It’s letting fear get out of hand and control our lives when there is only something we perceive as frightening. Sometimes that means we end up being afraid of nothing more than a paper tiger”

I read this recently in Captiva Memories” by Anne Cabot and it made me think.  How many things have we decided not to do because we were afraid?

And how many times have we regretted it? Wondered what would’ve happened if we’d taken that chance?

But we didn’t because we were afraid. We didn’t believe in ourselves, even though everyone else did. So we didn’t  take the chance, because that paper tiger growled too loud, and that mouthful of sharp teeth scared us away.

But someone else wasn’t intimidated by that same paper tiger, and took the chance. And they were very successful. 

You’re offered a great opportunity to buy a business that’s already successful. You know it’s a great deal and you’re seriously considering it. But all of a sudden that paper tiger runs up to you, growls, and tries to swat you with that big paw!

And again you’re too scared to take the chance.

But then you come across another opportunity, and instead of waiting for that paper tiger to appear, you sign on the dotted line, and go for it! You’re still afraid, but this time there’s no turning back. The paper tiger slinks into the room, but this time you swat it away, and discover it really is made of paper after all. And it can’t hurt you.

You were afraid for no reason! You had it in you all the time. You just didn’t realize it.

And suddenly, you aren’t afraid of that paper tiger any more, because you discovered those claws couldn’t scratch and those teeth couldn’t bite. You were too busy letting your fear get the best of you instead of believing in yourself. This time you did it afraid. 

And you succeeded.