Why can’t I draw/paint it? After all, it’s there in front of my eyes. I can see it. Clearly.

So what’s keeping me from taking a pen or pencil and sketching it on a piece of paper? What’s keeping my from painting it in the beautiful colors I see in my mind’s eye?

If it’s there where I can see it, why can’t I capture it so others can see it?

What’s stopping me? Actually it’s the fear that I can’t do it. My fear that it won’t be perfect. That it won’t look right. That it won’t be like what I see in my mind, because I keep telling myself I can’t do it.

What? Because I want it to be perfect as soon as I start. And that just isn’t going to happen. Because each of us has to start at the beginning of something…practice…keep at it; until we get to a point where we can say we’re pleased with what we created.

Like most of us, I don’t want to start out at the beginning and make mistake after mistake until I get it right. I want to be able to do it perfectly the first time.

And how many of us can say that we did that?  I daresay not many.

I know how to sew. I used to make most of my clothes a very long time ago. But I didn’t start out making tailored suits and such; I started out with aprons and simple skirts before I learned how to do the more complicated things.

I play the piano. Not a lot any more, although I’m starting to get back into it. When I first began, I could only play a few scales. I took weekly lessons and to practice daily. I had to learn how to read music, work at it, and that took time, and patience. I actually was very good at one time, and will be again, as long as I take the time to work at it again.

So why am I so frustrated when I try to do something else creative and I don’t do it right the first time? 

Most likely because the older I get, the less patience I have. I want to do it NOW, and not take the time to learn how to really make the most of the talents I have. I think I can draw and paint, but like the new music student I used to be, I couldn’t sit down that first day and play an entire song. I had to take my time and learn. And it didn’t happen overnight.

And now, although I have the desire, I finally realize I can’t just sit down and create a beautiful work of art without putting in the time it takes to learn how to do it. 

So what do you think? Is there something you want to do but don’t think you can? Try it. The only thing stopping you is yourself. 

Now I know I wrote about this last year, and I still haven’t really started my project. At least not like I wanted to. But I did try it, and finally finished my first piece. And yes, it’s a flamingo. And like my usual perfectionist self, I’m not totally happy with it.

But the thing is…I actually did it! It’s not great, but not what I thought it would be.

But it’s a start.

So now I’m going to stop beating myself up and resolve to learn to draw and paint the right way. I bought a couple of books, and THIS time I’m going to actually do all the exercises in them and practice my skills before I try another painting.

At least that’s my plan.  I may not ever sell a painting, but if I practice, and try it, and work at it, at least maybe I’ll create something frame worthy. For myself, if no one else.

And that’s what counts. So here I go….

Next time I write about my painting, I’m going to include a few pictures.

And hopefully in a few weeks!