Yearly Archives: 2017

Wearing of the Green…Flamingo Style

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The flamingos are really having a difficult time this week. You see, they never want to miss the opportunity for a good party. But St. Patrick’s Day is giving them a hard time.

Why? Have you ever seen an Irish flamingo?

Well, you know these flamboyant birds like to sparkle and bask in elegance and glitter.  But St. Patrick’s Day just doesn’t lend itself to a lot of glitz and glitter.

Green felt hats! Shamrocks? Four leaf clovers? Can you just picture these flashy birds wearing these green Irish hats? Without any touch of sparkle?

And leprechauns….they just don’t fit the flamingo mold. Bright red hair and beards don’t go with pink feathers! Neither do green coats and green top hats! Especially when they don’t even include feathers!

Now flamingos are jokesters by nature, and they do like to pull silly pranks on their friends, like leprechauns are known for, but dressing like one…no way! Not in your pink lifetime!

And kelly green doesn’t really go very well with flamingo pink! Trust me, they’ve tried all kinds of combinations. It just doesn’t work….except in bouquets of pink roses! Which has nothing to do with St. Patrick’s Day.

Then there’s the traditional Irish meal of corned beef and cabbage. Now many of you like that and even look forward to going out to dinner and enjoying a tasty meal of it.  But have you ever seen the flamingos out enjoying a meal of corned beef and cabbage on St. Patrick’s Day?

Now you do know that flamingos really enjoy their libations! But green beer? First of all, they don’t even like beer. Champagne, wine, margaritas…all manner of tropical cocktails, yes, but not beer. Especially when it’s dyed bright green! The only green drink I’ve ever seen them have is a margarita, and that’s LIME green!

Irish music? Far too raucous for these pink birds who prefer jazz or the Margaritaville sounds!

In fact, the only St. Patrick’s Day tradition the flamingos can halfway get into is the idea of the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. But then they’d have to find the leprechaun that’s guarding it in order to take it, and that’s just not their style…

So what’s a flamingo to do for St. Patrick’s Day?

Believe it or not, they are just taking this day very low key. They’ve actually planned a quiet (for a flamingo, that is) evening at home. Enjoying a dinner of lime drizzled shrimp with sliced avocado, margaritas garnished with an extra slice of lime, followed by a dessert of key lime cupcakes splashed with green and gold sprinkles.

And discussing the possibility of starting their own March 17 holiday for next year…maybe St. Flamingo’s Day…??

And the wearing of the pink?!

Happy St. Patrick’s Day from the Flamingos!

Disclaimer: All content posted here is assumed to be in the public domain. If you find one of your images here and wish it to be removed please contact me. Flamingo photos from TravelJapanblog.com

Marrying Into the Family

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It’s something you really don’t think about. Not really. You’re totally in love with your husband/wife to be, and can’t wait until the wedding day. As well you should. Because marriage is supposed to be forever. Forever with the love of your life.

And with his/her family. That includes parents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins…the whole family tree. Because now they’re your family as well.

In an ideal world, that new family tree is great! It’s strong, and its branches are ready to support a lot of new growth. Branches that are grafted on are quickly accepted and grow along with the other branches, just as if they’d always been part of that tree, blending in perfectly.

That’s in a perfect world. And sometimes that perfect world exists.

But a lot of the time it really doesn’t.

Because there are too many branches that don’t want new growth. Or new ideas. They don’t want to accept anyone new because they don’t want to change the family tree. It’s been good to them for a long time, so why mess things up by grafting on new branches?

Now before you start getting offended by this writing, let me make one important point. This is NOT written about any one family, or any one person. I’m not perfect, and neither are you. My family’s not perfect and neither is yours. But I wouldn’t have them any other way. However….

In the beginning of a new relationship, his/her family is usually excited to meet you. You’re a bit nervous, because you want them to like you. And they usually do, or seem to, at least at first.

But many times, the more you get to know them, and the more they get to know you, well, you find there are a lot of branches on that tree you’d really like to trim away.

And you eventually realize they’d probably like to do the same with you!

Every family goes through this. There are no perfect family/in-law relationships. At least none that I know of. There’s usually at least one person that wants to make your life difficult because they just don’t like you, or maybe they’re jealous of you. And there’s nothing you can do to win them over. Sure, you try, but nothing changes.

Did you know they say the same thing about you? Of course they do. Everything’s your fault. Just like to you, it’s all their fault.

And sometimes that’s actually true. Sometimes it’s one or two family members who just like to cause trouble because they want to be the most important branch on the tree, and they want everyone to know it. And you represent a change they don’t like. Or you don’t like them for whatever reason, and you let them know it by your actions.

There’s not much, unfortunately, that you can do to change it. Any more than they can change you. Just be sure you’re not the one who’s trying to change everyone else and make them conform to your ideas and your way of doing everything. That doesn’t work either.

Because all families are unique. They have their own dynamics, their own idiosyncrasies, their own traditions and outlook on life. His/her family is no different from yours in that respect.

And let’s be honest; your family isn’t perfect, and they don’t always get along with everyone either. Do they? And what does your family really think of him/her?

Combining two families into one isn’t the easiest thing to do. I’m sure you’ve all seen the signs so popular at weddings today that read something like, “We’re all family now so pick a seat, not a side!”

Well, that’s true, but…….

I have no answers for solving this age-old problem. It’s been around forever, and unfortunately will continue to be. Why? Because we’re all unique. We all have our own likes and dislikes, our own ideas of who we want as friends. We get offended at things people say and do that hurt us, and sometimes we can’t get past it. Because either we’re too proud to try, or the other person won’t try.

Just remember, it’s his/her family and you’re now a part of it, too, or will be soon. Make yourself the strong branch to be grafted on that tree. And if the tree doesn’t accept you, as long as you’ve done your part, there’s nothing more you can do.

Except start a new tree with your new spouse. Plant it close to theirs, but realize it’s now got to stand on its own, rooted in good fertile soil and nourished by love. And one day, just maybe, a few of the branches on that older tree may finally want to be grafted on to yours.

Mom, I Wish I Could Tell You…

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I have so much to tell you. Especially about last weekend. Do you know how many times I caught myself thinking…I have to remember to tell Mom that! Or, wait til I tell my mother about… Or, Mom will be so excited when I tell her who I saw…

But I can’t do that. Because you’re gone.

Even though it’s been ten years, I still have moments…lots of them…that I start to pick up my phone to punch in your number. I still remember it, you know. And probably will for many more years. That’s not something you forget when it’s been such a big part of your life.

But last weekend after my book signing, I really, REALLY have so much I want to tell you. So much I know you’d be happy to hear. So much I want to share with you.

Like my first visitors…a couple I’ve known for years. Now in their early eighties, but hardly looking even seventy. I remember when Emma and Joe were married. You and Daddy dressed up and left me to stay with my aunt and uncle while you went to the wedding. Before you left, Uncle Fowler took a picture of the two of you, and you can see me reflected in the mirror behind you, giggling like the little girl I was at the time. This couple had stories about you, and even more precious memories of my father, who had been a loyal customer at their family car dealership for many years. (Joe sold us my first car – a 1968 gold Camaro with a black vinyl top!) Mom, you would’ve loved to have seen them.

A lady who’d known you for years came by. She told me how as a young nurse she used to go to our house and give insulin shots to my grandmother when she’d lived with us. And as soon as she said that, I remembered her! I’m sure you would, too!

And Mom, a couple of ladies from your church came by as well, and told me how much they still missed you. One of them reminded me how you sat behind her every Sunday! (You all did make sure you sat in the same pew every week!) And did you know the church actually put the word out about my book signing in their bulletin? I couldn’t believe it!

Several of your former students also came by or called. They told me how much they loved you, and how you’d been their favorite teacher. How you gave them snacks every day, and taught them colors and numbers, and always made sure their day was fun!

One of your assistant teachers even came by and said you were the best teacher she’d ever taught with! And I’m sure you were!

I even got a personal note and book order when we got home from your former reading supervisor from your teaching days. She said the most wonderful things about you, including how honored she’d been to have worked with you!

And did you know some of my friends from high school had a reception for me afterwards? As you remember, a lot of them still live there, but several of them came back to town just to be there for us! Us. You and me.

Only you weren’t there. Except in our memories.

And my friends had wonderful memories of you, too.

Carol and Molly told me how you’d taught their daughters, and how one of those little girls had obviously never had to pick up her toys before. Until Mrs. Chapman taught her that’s what was expected!

Diane reminded me about the dining room set you’d given her when she and her husband were married almost 50 years ago! And she wanted me to know that same dining room set is now being used by their son and his wife. They just couldn’t bear to get rid of it. (And she bought three books! One for her and one for each of her sisters!)

I know you remember my high school best friend Laura. Of course you do. After all, her mom joined you in heaven about 6 months after you got there. She and I had a great time getting reacquainted after all these years. And I so hope we can continue to rekindle that relationship.

And my friend Jenny’s brother told us how his mom would let him walk across the field from their house to yours, watching him every second, of course, so he could go visit you. You’d give him milk and cookies and talk for a while, and then you’d walk him across the street and watch him cross the field to go back home. I’d never heard that story, but I can picture you doing it.

Everyone there remembered the parties you let us have in our basement rec room. We’d eat sandwiches and potato chips, listen to music, dance, and shoot pool for hours. Many of them remember going upstairs during the parties, just to talk to you for a few minutes, because, well, they just enjoyed your company.

Everybody loved you, Mom. I don’t think you had any idea how much.

I just wish I could tell you all about how wonderful it was to see so many people I grew up with, and how touched I was with their remembrances of you.

Many of them have already emailed me about how much they’re enjoying our story. And I’m so happy…I just wish you were here to enjoy it with me.

I miss you so much. But what an impression you made on so many people.

It was all worth it.

 

Note: Names of my high school friends have been changed. But you know who you are.

Going Home Again

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It’s nostalgic feeling. Like nothing I can describe.

Sure, you can move away, but somehow you just never seem to totally lose contact with the people you were close to when you were growing up. Especially the ones who still live in that same area.

In my case, miles and time have separated us, but the memories and the friendships have not. The ties may have loosened for a while, but they are still there, and still intact.

The memories keep us together.

When my first book was published a few months ago, I wanted to have my first book signing in my hometown. Since the book is about my mother and the last years of her life, as well as dealing with the heartache and grief that accompanied that tragic event, it was only fitting to return to the town where I had grown up, and where my mother had been a beloved kindergarten teacher for many years. Where several of her friends still lived, and so did many of my school friends.

And I’m so glad I did.

You see, you can go home again. I did.

It may not be exactly the same as you remember, but it’s still home. There are the same streets, the same houses, the same churches. The “downtown” area is still there, only with new businesses, several owned by friends I went to school with. My old high school is there, in the same location, but with an entirely new facade and totally modern interior. But it’s still there, and as we drove past it, so many memories flooded back I was just suddenly overwhelmed. Especially when I realized I was going to see so many of those high school friends again soon.

My old house, or should I say my mother’s old house, is still there, looking almost the same, and for a brief instant I felt like we should turn the car into that U-shaped driveway and pick her up to go with us to my book signing. And every time I ride past it, my heart overflows and the memories leak out of my eyes.

But then I realized…the book was about her, and about my losing her. How I felt; how I dealt with it. How other daughters can deal with the same tragedy and survive. If she were still here, which I still wish, none of this would be happening.

This was the time I was going home to honor my mother’s memory by introducing the book I’d written about her.

I didn’t know what to expect at all. A good friend from high school was hosting my event in her gallery. Like almost all of my classmates, she’d known my mother, like probably over half the town had.

But after her being gone for ten years, would they still remember her?

Did they ever! I cannot tell you how many people came by or called, or even emailed me to tell me they remembered her; they loved and missed her; how she taught their children, or their grandchildren. Several people came by just to tell me she’d taught them, and how they still remembered her after over forty years, and what an impression she’d made on their life. My heart was so touched from the outpouring of love I experienced. Many of the visitors told me stories from her teaching days that I’d never heard. And they all told me how much she’d been loved. Not only her friends, but my friends who still live there, or who, like me, came back to their hometown for the event. To honor my mother.

There was a reception after the book signing at one of my friends’ homes, and I had the opportunity to not only reconnect with a lot more of my high school friends, but to exchange stories of our parents, since our parents all knew each other as well as we did. That’s the beauty of a small town.

You can go home again.

It won’t be the same as it was when you were growing up. Because you’re older; you’re now an adult; not the teenager growing up and ready to spread those wings and fly away. Even though, like me, when you return to your roots, to your home town, you suddenly feel you’re back in those earlier days when we were still young, when our entire life was ahead of us. When we just knew we were going to make a difference in the world.

But guess what. You and I did make a difference. We all did. In our own various ways. I learned that this weekend. We touched other people’s lives in ways we didn’t even realize, and in ways we’ll never know. Just by being who we were; who we still are.

And for a little while that weekend I wished in a way I could be living back there again, as well as in my current city. We even made a few new friends, friends we will definitely keep.

Funny how that works. I still miss my hometown.

One thing I do know, though, I can continue going home. Because my heart will always be there.

As will my memories. My memories in this daughter’s heart.

Mardi Gras – Flamingo Style

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It’s only been a couple of weeks since their big Valentines Day bash, which turned out beautifully, by the way, but they’re already at it again!

As you know, flamingos are extremely social birds. They can’t resist a good party, and the more flamboyant the better! So when they heard about Mardi Gras, well….you can only imagine their reaction. Talk about a party designed with them in mind….!

So they set out to plan their Mardi Gras celebration. Which of course had to be bigger and better than the ones they’d heard about in New Orleans! After all, they have a reputation to maintain for party planning….whether they’d ever been to a Mardi Gras celebration or not.
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They did their research on line with their pink iPads (well actually they borrowed mine since it has a pink cover), and came up with some absolutely perfect Mardi Gras party plans…flamingo style, of course!

And since Mardi Gras parties are filled with glitter and feathers and all manner of gaudy, flashy and flamboyant decor, it was their idea of a perfect party! And they set to work to plan the ultimate Mardi Gras festivity!

The guest list was easy, and the invitations were simple to create! And as with their many other parties, everyone quickly accepted, because they knew the flamingos threw the best parties in town! Then they set to work selecting decorations, planning their menu and their special drinks, hiring a band, and of course, planning the most elaborate costumes and Mardi Gras masks they could design! (With prizes for the best ones, of course!)

Their masks were amazing! Lots of feathers and sequins and glitter. Lots of pink, although there were a few of the traditional colors thrown in as well. They figured a little purple, gold, and green did blend rather nicely with their favorite shades of pink. What do you think of their choices? And which one would you select as the winner?

And then there were the ropes of beads! Lots and lots of them! In a rainbow of colors….not just the traditional colors, but of course lots of pink sparkly beads, many with fun flamingo figurines on them, of course! They even hung some of those necklaces around the house in strategic places as decorations, and on the front door.

The flaminguys had to have top hats to go with their formal attire, of course. Formal attire for a guy flamingo, being a pink bow tie, vest, and cummerbund. With a pink rose pinned to their lapel…in this case, with the roses sprinkled with glitter!

Decorating was easy. It always is for the flamingos, you know; they’re known for their flashy but stylish decorating skills! And since just about anything goes for Mardi Gras, well, they certainly outdid themselves!

With fancy feathered and beaded chair covers, shiny beaded chandeliers, and tables set with flowers and beads, and beaded wine bottles, well, let’s just say the attendees said they’d never seen a Mardi Gras party as spectacular this one!

And the menu…let’s start with the bar, because after all, Marci Gras is known for the amazing libations, along with the amazing creole cuisine and amazing King cakes.

The flamingos were certain to have the most unique, most original libations to be found! Their version of the popular Marci Gras Hurricane was a work of art, with their own special blend of several flavors of rum, passion fruit syrup, lime juice, and of course their own touch of pink fruit juice that they just will not share! Topped off with slices of lime and orange slices, and a couple of maraschino cherries for the final garnish, well let’s say each drink was a work of art, and served in hand-painted (or rather, wing-painted) glasses that were given to each guest as a party souvenir.

And of course, their menu included their favorite shrimp dishes, along with some Cajun crawfish, red beans and rice, and a few surprises they begged us not to reveal. After all, flamingos have to have a few secrets, only to be shared with other flamingos.

commdiginnews-comTheir grand dessert finale was the traditional King Cake….flamingo style. Traditionally the King Cake is a round cake confection decorated with sugared icing in the Mardi Gras colors of green, gold, and purple. The cake itself may be colored as well, or it may contain apple, cream cheese, or other fillings. It usually contains a small figurine of the Baby Jesus, although today the figurines can be any number of different items. But only one, because tradition says that whoever gets the figurine in their slice provides the cake for next year’s party.

Naturally the flamingos just weren’t satisfied with the traditional one layer cake, so they contacted their favorite flamingo cake artist, and he was able to provide several beautifully decorated cakes (as well as some special Mardi Gras cookies) for the event. And what was baked inside each one? Why a plastic flamingo statuette! What else?!

It wouldn’t be a Mardi Gras party without some New Orleans jazz, though, and let’s just say this…if you’ve never heard the amazing King Creole Funky Flamingo Five, you haven’t heard jazz! Flamingo style, of course!

With Fancy Catfish Fred on trumpet (he’s the one wearing the sequined catfish on his derby hat!). Long Tall Louie on trombone, with his hanging flamingo charms clipped on his trombone slide. Saucy Shrimpy Sal on saxophone, a legend for the amount of shrimp he can consume at one meal (and we hear he’s been known to stash a few shrimp in the bell of his sax, just in case he needs a snack while performing!).

Then there’s Fletch “The Stretch” on sousaphone, who’s known for his ability to stretch some of the most amazing melodies out of that instrument! Watching Fletch perform is always a treat!

Last but certainly not least, we have Lester “Skinny Legs” Lawrence the Liberace of the snare drum, famous for his flowing multi-colored feathered robes!

And they used the occasion to introduce their newest members, Marvelous Matilda and her twin sister Amazing Miss Mavis. Matilda is a delightfully talented flamingo keyboard artist extraordinaire whose feathertips can tickle those keys like no other! And Miss Mavis’ vocal talents are truly amazing! Guess they’ll have to change the name of the band, since they now have seven members!

2017-02-25-09-51-56Unfortunately they wouldn’t allow photos of their performance, as they’re in the process of negotiating a major recording contract, and they want their publicity photos to be released at the time of their first album! What can we say….?

But we did get sneak a picture of Marvelous Matilda…or was it Mavis….? You just can’t tell them apart, especially in costume!

Yes, the flamingos’ Mardi Gras party was a huge success! Did you expect anything less? And imagine our surprise when we came home the next morning (they did ask us to attend, since they were using our house – again – but we decided it would be much more fun for them to just have their flamingo friends at this particular bash!) and found several flamingos we’d never met sound asleep on our floor! It must’ve been a heck of a party!

And I’m sure they’re hard at work planning their next event….! Stay tuned!

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Ready for Paint, Part 2

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There are times I go through the blogs I’ve written previously and decide they should be resurrected and refined, updated. This is one of them. It was actually written almost a year and a half ago, but it’s still very appropriate for today.

 

Many months ago, I had a dream.

I was walking through a house, and each room was empty. Very empty. There wasn’t even carpeting on the floor; just a few windows with no window coverings. For a brief moment I thought it was my mother’s old house, except the layout wasn’t the same. And it didn’t feel right.

But the walls…the walls REALLY needed painting. They seemed to be speckled, with big white splotchy dots everywhere. I couldn’t figure out who in the world would have painted walls like that. They looked so….unfinished. So messy.

But the Lord spoke to me, and then it made perfect sense!

He said, “These rooms are ready to be painted. I have filled in the holes. I’ve patched them all, and now the room is ready for fresh paint; for a whole new look. This is your own blank canvas to paint however you wish, in any colors you wish. Use your imagination, for I have prepared it just for you. Each room is a project, and as you paint, all the holes, the disappointments and rejections from the past, are wiped away. It’s a new beginning.”

“Behold, I make all things new….” (Revelation 21:5)

I wrote this originally over a year and a half ago. And now I look back on what has happened in my life over the past 18 months, and I see how that blank canvas has been repaired and patched, and totally repainted for a whole new look. The big splotches are gone, because the repairs have been made. I’ve completed a number of projects, and started several more. I painted with colors I never knew existed, because I let the Lord take over and show me what I needed to do.

Most of the past disappointments in my life, the past rejections, the unhappiness, have been erased, painted over. In my case, I used words instead of actual paint, but the words I wrote were my own personal version of paint. We all have our own type of creativity. Whether it’s drawing, painting, writing, playing/composing music, sewing, cooking, gardening, we all have a blank canvas of sorts that is waiting to be filled. And we are the only ones who can fill it. And fill it in our own special way.

Yes, there are several things I still need to make new in my life. And there will always be more. But I’m looking forward to seeing what else the Lord is going to do as I begin painting more patched walls with fresh colors, fresh words, and fresh ideas. And I’m going out now to buy more paint and brushes, and more journals to fill!

What do you need made new in your life? What walls do you need patched? All you have to do is ask Him. And then go pick out your paint, your journals, your yarn or fabric, or your seedlings, because when you come back from the store, there are a lot of things that are going to be ready for a new look! And as you begin to create that new look, just remember, He’s looking over your shoulder, smiling, as you accept and step into your new beginning.

There is so much ahead that’s waiting for you to do. What are you waiting for?

Valentine Love…Flamingo Style

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Believe it or not, flamingos are actually quite romantic birds. Oh sure, they squawk a lot, and love to party every chance they get, but when it comes their lady loves, well, they actually become quite serious. Or as serious as flamingos can be.

That’s why they really love Valentine’s Day. Not only is it a day of lots and lots of pink, along with a smattering of red hearts and roses, it’s a day of romance and beauty, which, of course, makes their feathered pink hearts go pitter patter! (That’s what they told me to say! I’d have said it a bit differently, but….)

Anyway, this year they really wanted to do something extra special for the female birds in their life. The sky was the limit! This Valentine’s Day will be a day to remember! And yes, what I’m about to share with you will be a surprise for the lovely flamingirls, because the flaminguys made them promise not to read this until the day after. And the ladies didn’t want their surprises spoiled either, so I’m sure they’re keeping their promises!

So what to do for your special lady when you’re a romantic flamingo?

Obviously, the first thing is breakfast in bed. But what to serve that would be the perfect beginning? Actually that was fairly easy. Heart shaped pancakes with strawberry syrup. A bowl of fruit on the side; strawberries, raspberries, and cherries, topped with a dollop of whipped cream sprinkled with pink colored sugar and a few candy hearts. A strawberry mimosa, of course, to give it that perfect pink touch. And naturally the tray has to be decorated with pink roses and a beautiful romantic Valentine card…the first of several for the day!

After such a delightful breakfast treat, the flaminguys have another treat planned for their ladies. After enjoying a warm leisurely pink bubble bath, with another pink mimosa, of course, the flamingirls will be driven in a (what else?) pink limousine to a day spa where they’ll be treated to a relaxing massage, pedicure, and having their feathers styled. All in preparation for their getting ready for a big night on the town with their favorite Valentines! And yes, I’m sure there will be more pink mimosas…good thing they have a limo waiting for them!

Of course, while the flamingirls are busy being pampered, the flaminguys are going to be busy as well. After all, they have big plans to take their ladies out on the town! But first….They arranged to have dozens of pink roses and pink orchids delivered to the house, arranged in crystal and pink vases, which will be placed in every room! Can’t you just imagine the fragrance when they walk in?

And of course, it wouldn’t be a Valentine’s celebration without chocolate, so they’ll have pink balloons, and pink heart shaped boxes of delicious chocolates sitting around as well, along with a few trays of juicy chocolate drizzled strawberries. And to greet their ladies when they get home…the flaminguys wearing tux jackets, complete with pink bow ties, as they prepare to serve their ladies pink champagne before their evening out.

And being the romantic birds they are, they made reservations for a romantic dinner at their favorite seafood restaurant. Each flamingo couple will have their own table for two, with more flowers, more champagne of course, and a special valentine gift, beautifully wrapped in pink valentine paper and tied with a sparkly silver bow.

What’s inside the gift boxes? Well, they asked me not to tell, but they did say I could give a hint. So…it’s sparkly, and guaranteed to put a smile on each lady’s beak. Oh, and they’re each just a bit different.

After a sumptuous dinner of shrimp, wine, and more chocolate drizzled strawberries, the flamingo couples will head over to their favorite piano bar, featuring a pink piano, of course, for music and dancing, and possibly a bit of a sing-along. Flamingos do have an amazing musical ability, and some have exceptional vocal talents, so I’ve heard!

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Yes, it will definitely be a Valentine’s Day to remember for our pink feathered friends. Sounds like a great day to be a flamingo!

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When the Valentines Don’t Come

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How many times have you seen February 14 referred to as “Single Awareness Day”?

How many times have you gone in a store when it’s getting close to Valentine’s Day and wanted to turn around and leave because all it did was remind you that you’re not part of a couple? That you have no one to buy those mushy, sugary cards for? That you have no one to give you candy or flowers or even a card on Valentine’s Day?

How many times have you wanted to take that Cupid and just throw him against the wall, or maybe even run him over with your car? Because his bow and arrow haven’t been working for you, and at this point you’re not sure they ever will.

How many times do you feel like calling out sick from work on that day, because you just know all the other women will have flowers, or candy, or balloons, or other reminders delivered to them at work, and you won’t?! And you’ll feel like everyone else is waiting for something to be delivered for you, and when it doesn’t you can just imagine what they’re thinking.

“What’s wrong with her?”

“Why doesn’t she have a boyfriend/husband?”

“Poor thing, I feel so bad for her…”

How many of you have felt like that? How many of you still do?

Surprisingly, our daughter never liked Valentine’s Day since about the time she entered high school. She always said, and actually still does, that Valentine’s Day is just a day designed for card stores and flower shops to make money. “Why should we have to have a day for everyone to remind someone they love them? They should do that every day.” And she didn’t say that because she didn’t have a boyfriend at the time. Because she did.

She’s even told her husband that same thing, ever since they started dating ten years ago. She means it.

And she has a good point. Why do we concentrate on showing how much we love someone on just one day each year?

What about the other days?

Don’t get me wrong. I like Valentine’s Day. But there were many years I was that woman who felt out of place on February 14 because I didn’t have a special relationship in my life. I was one of those who dreaded the day and was glad to see it over.

Valentine’s Day shouldn’t be a day that reminds those who are not in a relationship that they’re alone. But unfortunately it does.

So for this upcoming Valentine’s Day, instead of hiding or feeling depressed, make an effort to show your love to someone who’s important to you. I don’t mean try to enter into a romantic relationship; that’s something that just happens on its own, and usually when you least expect it.

So reach out to someone else who may be feeling the way you do. You may actually brighten each other’s day in ways you never imagined. Send a card to a neighbor or someone else you know who’s lost a loved one recently; Valentines Day is hard for them as well, perhaps even harder than it is for you, because there are so many reminders of what they’ve lost.

Buy a valentine card for yourself…one that speaks to your heart. It’s not as crazy an idea as you may think. After all, who knows you better than you know yourself? And aren’t you worth it? If you don’t really love yourself, how can you expect someone else to?

And remember, Valentine’s Day is just that. A day. One day.  The year has 364 more days in it. Even though you may think love has passed you by, believe me, it hasn’t.

The best is yet to come. It will come in its own time, and its own way. It will come when you’re not looking, and when you’re not expecting it. It’s not something you can rush, or force to happen.

Cupid works all year long. Not just on Valentine’s Day. Just because he doesn’t show up on February 14 doesn’t mean he’s forgotten you. He’s just waiting for the perfect time.

And then the Valentines will come. And on more than just one day of the year.

 

Stories Never Told…Lives Never Lived

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I’d like to introduce you to three very amazing people. And I can guarantee you’ve not heard about any of them.

First, meet Jackson. His mother wasn’t married when she got pregnant, and was living with her mother and younger brother at the time. Jackson was an adventurous child, always wanting to learn, to find out what made things “tick”. A very intelligent child, he continually made the best grades in school, and always wanted to be a doctor.

His mother didn’t have much money, but Jackson was lucky, and fortunate enough to be awarded a scholarship to a local college. By that time he’d already decided he wanted to concentrate on medical research. Because he’d watched his beloved grandmother die from cancer, he made his life goal to find a cure for that disease. 

And he did. After fifteen years of long, hard research, Jackson made that great discovery, and his research paved the way for not only total cures, but eventually a vaccine against several forms of the dreaded disease. 

Then there’s Christine. Her dream was to become an actress/vocalist. As a child she’d sing along to every song she heard on the radio, until her parents decided they’d better hire a voice coach for her. 

Her singing talent progressed rapidly, and she also insisted on taking drama classes as well, so she could also pursue her acting talents. Christine became the first high school freshman  in her school to win the lead in the annual school play, and went on to do that each of her high school years. When she graduated, Christine received a special award for her musical and acting accomplishments. 

She went on to college and graduated with a degree in drama; she then moved to New York with her parents, where she won a series of supporting roles in several Broadway shows. As her career advanced, she was nominated for, and won several awards, for her musical and acting talent.

Christine, who was born with Down Syndrome, against all odds, more than achieved her greatest dream. 

Finally, there’s Carlos. The oldest son of a single teenaged mother. Carlos had his share of problems growing up, including a few skirmishes with the legal system, although fortunately as a juvenile, which may have influenced him to want to become an attorney. 

Although Carlos struggled with dyslexia, he was determined not to let that get the best of him, and enrolled in a community college after high school. Although it took him four years to graduate with his Associates Degree, he was accepted at a local college where another three years went by before he received his degree in pre-law. 

Carlos knew it was going to be hard, but his dream was not going to be stilled. He was accepted at a small law school a few hours from his hometown, where he went to school while working part time at nights with disadvantaged kids. Kids like he used to be.

Four difficult years later Carlos finally earned his law degree, and established a successful career as a juvenile attorney. Although his reading skills were still poor, he never allowed that to stop him from achieving his life goal, and as a result of his work, hundreds of teens were able to turn their lives around. 

Why have you not heard of any of these amazing people? 

Because they were never born.

They were aborted, just 3 of the 665,000 abortions that took place in the U.S. last year. And that’s just in one year.

Brady and Carlos were aborted because their mothers thought their own lives would be easier if they didn’t have their babies. Christine was aborted because doctors told her parents she’d never have a chance at any kind of normal life; and they believed him.

While I understand a woman’s right to make her choice, I am asking you to choose life, rather than the death of your baby. If you do not want to be a mother right now, please, please consider adoption. There are so many families waiting for a child who are unable to conceive or give birth. They would love your child more than anything in the world, and they would be eternally grateful for your gift to them.

Who knows what your unborn child may be destined to do; what discoveries he/she could find if given the chance? What difference that child could make in other lives as an adult?

Think about it before you make an irreversible choice. What difference can you make in someone else’s life, especially in the life of the child within?

Flamingo Day…Move Over, Groundhog!

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While the flamingos were enjoying their coffee the other morning they happened to be watching TV, and saw all the commotion about Punxsutawney Phil seeing his shadow, and how it meant six more weeks of winter. Which did not make them happy. For a number of reasons.

“Why should a groundhog get to predict the weather?” asked one of the flamingos. “What does he know about warm weather and sunshine? He lives in the ground and sleeps all winter. How can he have any idea what the weather is?”

“That’s right,” another Flamingo said. “Everyone knows groundhogs are notoriously unreliable. They say they’re going to do something, but they’re always forgetting because they’re too busy hibernating! They don’t even look at their calendar to see what appointments they have!”

“And did you see those groundhog shaped cookies someone was passing around? All brown….no color…not even a touch of pink! How boring!” (Naturally the main flamingo chef made that comment!)

“That groundhog couldn’t even carry on a good conversation ,” added another flamingo. “All those clicks and squeals…if he hadn’t had an interpreter we’d have no idea what he was trying to say!”

flockYes, the flamingos were quite upset. And if you’ve ever seen a bunch of upset flamingos, you know it isn’t a pretty sight! When I left for work that morning, they were still squawking about Groundhog Day!

When I came back home that evening, they had all calmed down. Or so I thought. Little did I know….

You see, unbeknownst to me, they’d planned their own version of Groundhog Day, and were calling it, what else…Flamingo Day?!!
And since they didn’t want to share their day with any other animal, they chose February 6 for their big event! They didn’t have a lot of time to plan, or send out press releases and invite the media, but I’m sure next year they’ll make all their plans well in advance, and have just as much of a celebration as Punxsutawney Phil. In fact, probably more. After all, how often do flamingos get to be weather birds?

You may not have seen the event for yourself. But it was actually quite spectacular.

Since flamingos are quite flamboyant, as opposed to groundhogs, they wanted to create a splash on their day. There was no emerging from a hole in the ground, being half asleep, and certainly not looking your best. On the contrary, on Flamingo Day the chosen flamingo had to look her best when she emerged onto the stage, her pink feathers immaculately groomed, her makeup perfectly done, and her jewelry especially designed for the occasion. With the appropriate cocktail in hand, of course. After all, it’s always 5:00 somewhere, and no self respecting flamingo ever has an important event such as this without the appropriate cocktail!

As the flamingos explained to me, it doesn’t really matter where the sun is in relation to the star of the show, because on Flamingo Day the sun will find her, and she will definitely be able to make the determination whether or not she sees her shadow. And if we will be having an early spring or not.

keleas-comSo the time arrived. For some reason they picked 3:00 in the afternoon for the event to take place. By the pool, of course, even though it was definitely too cold to go swimming! And at exactly 3:00 Vincent von Flamingo, the host of the event, strutted out, appropriately dressed in top hat and tuxedo jacket, and proclaimed that Dazzling Dorothy, Flamingo Prognosticator Extraordinaire, and Weatherperson of Wonder, would in just a few minutes be presenting herself on stage to make her first major prediction about spring.

The crowd went wild! Actually it was a huge crowd of flamingos who had flown in for the event, some from as far away as Puerto Rico and Aruba. Dressed in an array of colorful hats, sparkling jewelry, and of course sipping from an array of pink cocktails garnished with hibiscus flowers and pineapple, they were more than ready to witness the inaugural event of Flamingo Day!

And Dazzling Dorothy did not let anyone down, as she strutted to her place on the makeshift stage to stand under a floral canopy designed to shield her from the elements until it was time to see if she saw her shadow. What a sight! She was perfectly attired in her very own floppy hat, adorned with jeweled pink feathers and tropical flowers. Her jewelry, sparkling with colorful gems, pearls, and beautifully crafted silk flowers, wrapped gracefully around her neck. Perfectly completing her outfit was a stylish pair of sparkling shoes, with 4 inch heels, making her appear even more impressive!

alice-tams-birdsinhatsThe crowd went wild, taking pictures, videos, and squawking in delight! They knew this was going to be a day to remember!

Dorothy looked around, smiled at the crowd, and said, “Are you ready for spring? Me, too!” She raised her glass, downed the rest of her drink in one gulp, tossed the empty glass to Vincent, and stepped out from under her floral canopy. Taking a quick look around, she took off her hat, looked up at the sky and then back down, and happily announced, “The Groundhog was wrong! There’s no shadow! I proclaim an early spring! Now let the party begin!”

Cheers erupted throughout the crowd. Glasses clinked together in celebration. Pink feathers flew, and from the stage, Vincent announced, “The party’s inside! It’s time to celebrate!”

And the flamingos certainly celebrated! Shrimp of all kinds. Special Flamingo Day cocktails! And of course, instead of those unexciting groundhog cookies, bright pink flamingo cookies, all beautifully decorated for the occasion!

It was an awesome day to remember. And trust me, I’m sure they’re already planning next year’s Flamingo Day celebration, and most likely inviting Punxsutawney Phil himself to join in the fun and see how NOT seeing your shadow is done!

Happy Spring! It’s coming soon!

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The Secret Child, Part 3

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Part I introduced you to Elizabeth, a brave young girl who made the difficult decision to choose life and give her baby up for adoption many years ago. In a time where abortion had just become legal, she could’ve gone the other way and simply dealt with it quickly. She knew it was right, but had no idea how difficult it would be.

Part II introduced you to Elizabeth as a grown woman, living with her secret until she finally found someone she could trust to share it with. She had her life mostly where she wanted it, but knew something was still missing, and most likely always would be.

Until….she got that phone call and heard the voice on the other end saying, “This is your son.”

If you haven’t read Part I and Part II yet, I urge you to do so before reading this last installment.

 

Elizabeth’s heart most likely stopped beating for a couple of seconds when she heard those words. “This is your son.” She was afraid to breathe because the voice might go away. She thought she might even drop her phone and break it.

So she just sat there, as the voice said again, “Hello? Are you still there?”

“Yes. Yes I am.” She took a deep breath. “How do I know this isn’t a bad joke?”

So he told her. The day and time he was born. The name of the hospital, and where it was. He described the tiny birthmark on his back. And the stuffed dog she’d given him before she handed him over to the nurse to be given to his adoptive parents. “I still have it,” he said.

It really was him.

And the tears came. Real sobbing, gut-wrenching tears. But this time they were tears of joy. Finally, she’d found her son, more appropriately, her son had found her! Could she now actually allow herself to say she was a mother? Would he ever call her mom? So many questions…

Because she was at work, she couldn’t talk as long as she wanted to, which of course her son understood. So she got as many phone numbers for him as she could, as well as email addresses, and promised she would call him back as soon as she got home. And as she ended the call, she sat there and just looked at her phone, almost unsure if that phone call had just taken place, or if it had all been a dream.

But then an email came in, and when she opened it, there he was. Her son had sent her a picture, just as he’d promised. There he was, a handsome grown man, with her eyes and her nose. And the tears came again. She wished her parents were still alive, because now she’d have the courage to tell them.

She couldn’t wait to tell Carl, but this wasn’t something she could tell him over the phone.

So she rushed through the rest of her day, her mind 3,000 miles away, in a small town in California. Wondering when she could get there to see him, and wondering when he’d even let her do that. And praying he would.

Carl knew something had happened when she came home because even though her makeup was smeared, there was an excitement on her face he hadn’t seen in years.

“I have the best news ever!” she told him. And started crying again as she said, “My son called me. I know where he is, and I talked to him….”

“I was so happy for her I didn’t know what to say,” Carl told me. “All I could do was hug her and cry with her for several minutes. I’d never seen her so excited and so happy.”

Elizabeth quickly told her husband about the call, and all about their too-brief conversation. How she’d signed up several years ago on an adoption registry, hoping to someday get this call, but never really expecting it. And she showed him the picture he’d sent her. “This is Brady. This is my son.” And she cried again.

She quickly looked at the time, and told Carl she’d promised to call Brady back when she got home, and of course he told her to go do it, and take all the time she needed.

Of course she was terrified he wouldn’t answer when she called back; that he’d have changed his mind, or he’d tell her it was all a mistake. But he answered on the second ring. And they talked for hours, and he told her his story.

Brady’s adoptive parents had been wonderful, and he’d known he was adopted from the time he was about 4 years old. Unfortunately his adoptive father died a few years after that, and his mother moved to California with his adopted sister to live with her parents.

He’d gone to college there, and now owned his own small construction business. He’d married when he was in his mid 20’s, and they had 3 children. Elizabeth was a grandmother! He explained his adoptive mother had recently died, and even though she’d encouraged him to look for his birth mother, he’d held off looking for her because he didn’t want to upset the mother who raised him.

Elizabeth certainly understood.

Over the next few weeks they talked, emailed, or texted on a daily basis. They shared pictures and stories. Lots of stories. She was finally getting to know her son. And at last he asked her if she would like to come out and meet him and his family in person. An invitation she’d been waiting to hear. Would she? He didn’t have to ask twice!

She and Carl headed to California a few weeks later. She was nervous. Scared to death was more like it! What would he think of her in person? Would he resent her or welcome her with open arms? And his wife, her daughter in law? And their children…her grandchildren…

By the time they arrived she was as scared as she was excited. They rented a car, filled the trunk with the gifts she’d bought for her new family, and they drove the two hours from the airport to her son’s home.

She had no idea what to expect.

Imagine her surprise when they pulled up to the address he ‘d given her and saw the huge “Welcome Mom” sign in the front yard, surrounded by dozens of balloons, and all of them standing out front to greet her! She jumped out of the car and ran up to her son and they hugged each other and cried for what seemed like forever.

“It was amazing,” Carl told me, wiping a tear away as he remembered that day. “Her dream finally came true.”

Elizabeth was fortunate enough to be reunited in a wonderful relationship with the boy she gave up for adoption. And she was fortunate to be accepted in his life and the life of his children. They still talk at least weekly, and visit as often as possible.

Her grandchildren call her “Grandma” and her son finally calls her “Mother.”

As she said, “That’s the best name I’ve ever heard.”

 

If you are a birth mother, or an adopted adult who would like to have a chance to find your biological mother or child, you may go to Adopted.com and register. Just bear in mind that not all birth parents want to be found, and not all adopted children want to find their biological parents.

To all birth mothers who chose life, and chose to entrust their precious child to a family they didn’t know to raise him/her, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You may never fully know how much that one act meant to others.

Sometimes the Memories…

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Of what might have been…of what could have been…or what should have been… Of what will never be again.

Sometimes those memories are too painful to think about.

But we still do. It’s how we’re made.

We miss our loved ones so much…and there are still those times, no matter how many years it’s been, that we just need to hear their voice. That we need so desperately to talk to them, tell them our problems, and ask them what to do. Because they always had answers when we didn’t.

At times like this I try to imagine what my mother would tell me to do. What she’d say about the particulate problem I’m wrestling with. She’d have an answer; she always did. And usually she was right on the mark.

There are so many times I still wish I could ask her what to do. I wish I could dial her number just one more time, hear her say “hello”, and as soon as she’d hear my voice she’d know something was wrong. So I’d pour out my heart. And then hear her tell me….what? I’ll never know her answer to this problem…or others that will also present themselves from time to time.

I can’t hear that voice any more except in my heart, because she’s no longer here. And I miss her so much.

Yes, no matter how many months, how many years go by, nothing can replace that special bond we had. No one else, not even my husband, or my best friends, can give me the answers she did. And the problem I’m wrestling with right now can only be solved by my thinking the way she would have.

That’s easier said than done.

I’d also like to share my joys with her as well as my problems, but I can’t do that either. I can’t tell her about her beautiful great granddaughter, or what a good mommy her beloved granddaughter is. I can’t tell her how much our son in law loves that little girl, and what a proud daddy he is. I just hope she knows.

So tonight, as I sit here again missing my mother so much, all I can do is write this and tell her in my heart how much I miss her and how much I still love her.

And remind each of you reading this…don’t let time take away your opportunity to make memories…to ask questions. Or to just say “I love you.” Don’t waste even one day, because one day you won’t be able to make any more memories, and your loved one won’t be able to hear you say “I love you” any more.