Category Archives: Encouraging Thoughts

Every so often we get discouraged. We all do; it’s part of life. And when that happens, sometimes we just need a word or two of encouragement, sort of like a jump start, to get us going; to make us realize that we can do what we set out to do. So try some of these.

Stop Beating Yourself Up

Posted on by
1

You are a work in progress. We all are.

Which means you get there a little at a time. Not all at once.

Others may get there ahead of you. And it’s not because you’re not good enough, or not trying hard enough. It just may not quite be your time.

The others that get there before you may actually not be ready to be there. They may have taken a few shortcuts, stepped over others, in order to get there. And as a result, they won’t be successful there because they aren’t truly ready.

You’ve probably heard the saying that “slow and steady wins the race.” Think about that.

You’ll get there as long as you kept trying. One step at a time. Patience. Another step.

A work in progress isn’t finished in a shortened time span. It takes the time it takes. 

Hurrying something along only makes it take longer to complete.

And when that work in progress is completed, you’ll realize it was as all worth it.

Don’t Make A Permanent Decision…

Posted on by
Reply

….based on a temporary emotion.

It never turns out good.

And you’ll find yourself suddenly living in the land of regret.

Sure, you may be devastated because your significant other just broke up with you, but that doesn’t mean you have to quit your job and move to another town where you don’t know anyone and start over because you’re afraid people will talk about you. 

You may be angry at your employer, angry enough to quit your job to “show them how much you’re” needed”, but all that does is make you unemployed with no immediate job prospects and no hope of a good reference from that former employer.

Or you may be upset because of the way you thought one of your friends was treating you and decide to tell them exactly how little you think of them. Only a day or two later you discover you were wrong, and lost several of your other friends because of your actions.

Uncomfortable or life-altering situations occur in our lives more often than we’d like. And our first reaction to such situations is often anger or in some cases devastating heartbreak, as in the loss of a close loved one. At those times we’re not thinking rationally, and our thought processes are turned upside down. 

We’re not able to totally comprehend the gravity of what may have just happened, let alone think clearly enough to make permanent decisions based on what happened. Because the next few days may start to clarify things that will enable you to make more rational decisions. 

We’ve all heard stories such as this, like the woman who thought she’d caught her husband cheating, and went home and destroyed all of his clothes, his important papers, and told his employer what she’d supposedly “discovered”. Only to find out the woman she’d seen him with was a travel agent helping him book a surprise vacation for their anniversary.

Farfetched? Not really. Most of us have been in or heard of similar instances. 

Our emotions can easily get the best of us when we’re angry, stressed, or facing a difficult situation in which we can’t see a way out. Making permanent decisions when we’re in that frame of mind are a recipe for total disaster. And if you sign your name on the dotted line, there’s usually no turning back.

The lesson here? Don’t make major, permanent decisions until you really think them through. A day or even better, a week or two, will give you a cooling down period in which you can determine the best way to handle your particular situation. 

Because if you don’t, you’re most likely going to regret it.

No One Ever Injured Their Eyesight

Posted on by
Reply

By looking on the bright side of things.

And if you’re trying to look at things in the dark, you’re not going to see clearly unless you turn on the lights.

If you’re always trying to find the worst in a situation or somebody, you’re going to overlook the best part because you’re trying not to see it.

If you’re going around thinking that something bad is going to happen at any time, it probably will, because you’re too busy looking for the bad and ignoring the good.

Nobody ever injured their eyesight by looking on the bright side of things. 

Everyone Is a Writer

Posted on by
Reply

No, you say. Not me. I couldn’t do that. I have no talent.

Or, why would I do that? I don’t like reading.

Or, I have no time to write. No desire.

But think about this. You are actually in effect writing. Because you’re writing your own story as you’re living your life.

It’s up to you to determine how the story goes. 

Yes, there are always other people in your story who come along and complicate things, but you’re the main character, the one who deals with the complications and puts things back together. Or changes things for the better.

What chapter are you starting today?

You Can Always Make Time

Posted on by
Reply

For the things you want to make time for.

You say you’re too busy and don’t have time to call or even text a friend? When you promise you would?

Must not really be that good of a friend. Or you’re not that good of a friend. And I’ve sure found that out.

We make time for things we really want to do and for people we care for. We don’t make promises and forget about them.

Saying you can’t find the time to do something really means it’s not really that important to you. Sure, there are days we really are overwhelmed with a “to do” list that doesn’t seem to end, but we still can make time tomorrow to do what we really need to do.

Before it’s too late.

Overcoming the Victim Mentality

Posted on by
Reply

He did this to me.”

“She said that about me.”

“I was being bullied because someone said something that I don’t agree with and I didn’t like it. They’re making me feel like they hate me.”

“He told me I’m fat and ugly and don’t deserve to have anything nice.”

“Everyone picks on me. No one understands what I’m going through. They don’t get it. I’m always being picked on.”

“He/she deserted me for someone else and now nothing’s going right. It’s not fair.”

“Whatever I do or say, someone always tells me I don’t know what I’m talking about and makes me feel bad about myself. They’re always picking on me.”

Do these statements sound familiar? 

Does someone you know say such things all the time? Or do you find yourself saying them?

What do these statements all have in common?

They’re what you use to make yourself the victim in everything that goes wrong in your life. Because it’s easier to blame someone else for everything than looking at yourself and asking why all this seems to be happening.

Maybe you’re the type of person who just can’t be happy unless there’s something to complain about.

Maybe it’s easier to explain away all your unhappiness because it’s someone else’s fault. 

But when you keep repeating the same reasons over and over in every unhappy situation there’s a problem.

It’s your victim mentality. Because it’s easier to blame someone else rather than look inside yourself and try to figure out why this same situation happens time after time.

Maybe you don’t know any other way to be. And maybe keeping that victim mentality in its strange way makes you happy. Because it’s easier to keep complaining than move out of your comfort zone. 

There’s always an excuse. But what you don’t realize is, you’re the excuse, because you’re always playing the victim.

And if you don’t stop, you’ll never be the conqueror.

And isn’t it time for you to be a conqueror rather than a victim?

You Don’t Want to Be Like Anyone Else

Posted on by
Reply

You just want to be you. Because that’s who you are. There’s only one you.

Only one person in the world exactly like you. Others may look a bit like you, like a lot of the same things you do, even dress similarly. But there are still differences.

Even identical twins have slight differences. And sometimes only they can know the differences. But they’re still there.

You’re unique. You are wonderfully and perfectly made to be exactly who you are.

So instead of wanting to be like someone else, cherish your uniqueness.

Because there’s someone out there who wants to be like you!

Problems Just Don’t Go Away

Posted on by
Reply

It’s a mistake to turn your back on a problem. Or run away from it.

Because it’s going to follow you. It’s going to keep right on your heels until you turn around and face it.

It won’t ever go away on its own. You may think it has. But it’s still there, hiding, and biding its time til it’s ready to return and remind you it’s still there.

And it’ll return when you least expect it.

So my advice to you: turn around and deal with it now. Because each time it returns, it’s bigger than before.

Deal with it now. And be done with it forever.

Decisions

Posted on by
Reply

We make them every day, you know. And they’re not always big ones.

We decide what we’re going to wear that day, and what shoes go best with that outfit.

We decide what we’re going to eat. If we’re going out to eat, and if so, we decide where. Or if we’re staying at home, we have to decide on a menu, and if we’re cooking it ourselves or having it delivered from a restaurant.

If we have children, we have to help them decide what to wear, and what they’re going to eat. Among other things.

We have to decide what we’re going to do on our weekends. Where we’re going and with who. Or if we’re just going to enjoy time to do nothing.

If someone we care about has a birthday coming up, we have to decide on a gift.

When it’s Christmas we have to decide on gifts for our family and friends, and even more, decide on ways to make the holiday a very memorable and special time.

These are decisions we make that many times we don’t even realize we’re making them. They just happen and we usually do them without a lot of thought. 

They’re easy to make.

But then there are the other decisions. The tough ones. The ones you don’t want to have to make, but you sometimes have no choice.

The decision to leave a job and start over, when you see that things are going terribly wrong and may not get better. Or you’re not going anywhere with your current job and you know you need to make a change. 

The decision to move yourself and your family several hundreds of miles away for either family situations or employment opportunities, leaving behind other beloved family members and friends you’ve known forever.

The decision as whether or not to split up with a spouse for totally devastating reasons: unfaithfulness, theft of your personal savings; criminal activity; severe drug or alcohol abuse; physical or emotional abuse. The list can go on but you get the idea. And it’s especially hard if you have young children.

The decision to move an elderly parent or maybe your spouse to a nursing home or other specialized care facility because they can no longer care for themselves and you cannot do it either.

Or even worse, the decision to take a family member off of life support because there is no hope for recovery.

Decisions are sometimes easy, and other times difficult, even gut wrenching. Unfortunately they’re part of life, and there’s sometimes no choice in the matter. You make the best decision you can under the circumstances. And once you do, you can’t look back and do a “what if?” Because those “what if’s” aren’t going to happen. 

Whatever decision you may be facing in the coming days, weeks, or even months, make the best one you can under the circumstances. And don’t look back, because you did the right thing at the time. 

May you have the confidence to make the right decisions in the coming year, and may you make them with no regrets afterwards.

Be at Peace…Not in Pieces

Posted on by
Reply

I don’t know about you, but lots of time I feel like I’m pulled in so many different directions I’m in the middle of a tug of war and about to be torn apart.

Sometimes I just need a break to regroup and let go of some of the things that are pulling at me and threatening to tear me apart or crush me into pieces.

What about you?

Everyone needs a time to rest; a time to relax. A time to do only what you want to do.

Some time to say this is MY day to be with me and no one else. To spend time catching up with yourself. Asking yourself what’s gotten you in this shape and what you need to do to get yourself back to you.

And don’t be afraid to answer yourself.

Go to your quiet place and just be you. Do what you enjoy most by yourself. It may be reading, writing, painting or drawing, creating jewelry, or just taking a walk on the beach or having a massage.

We all need this escape from time to time, to be at peace with ourselves. Not in a bunch of pieces that seem to get more and more broken as we go along. To put those broken pieces back together.

Take some time to find your peace this week. Before life starts to break you again.

Do You Like Jigsaw Puzzles?

Posted on by
Reply

A book I read recently by Sarah Morgan had this quote which I absolutely love: “A relationship is like a jigsaw. Made up of tiny pieces. Whether it’s with a partner, with friends, with children…it’s made up of hundreds of tiny pieces. Some perfect, some imperfect. Those characteristics unique to each of us, the genes we inherit, our life experiences, the way we behave. Tiny misshapen little pieces that make us who we are….”

Personally, I really enjoy doing jigsaw puzzles. Actually I do them on my iPad. No lost pieces to contend with. And once you complete it, you don’t have to try to figure what to do with it, because who really wants to take it all apart after you’ve spent all that time working on it?

If you look at the pieces, they’re all slightly different. They may be a similar shape, but there’s only one piece that will fit exactly where it’s supposed to go. And unlike a conventional puzzle, on an iPad you sure can’t force that piece to fit where it’s not supposed to go.

But this piece isn’t about actually putting together a jigsaw puzzle.

Unless you stop to consider all the tiny pieces of your life that go into what makes you unique. Like a completed jigsaw made up of thousands and thousands of pieces that are put together to form who we are.

But there’s a difference between the pieces of our lives and a jigsaw puzzle. 

Because a jigsaw puzzle has a finite number of pieces that can only go together one way to make one particular picture. Now the puzzle program on my iPad allows me to change the number of pieces I can use, from a mere 16 which is way too easy, to 1400 which I can’t even imagine trying. 

So just imagine a jigsaw puzzle with thousands and thousands of pieces which can be rearranged at any time as new pieces are added. All of our experiences, good or bad, become part of that jigsaw puzzle that is us. 

Like the jigsaws on my iPad, we can view the pieces as a combination of major events in our lives (the bigger pieces) or the minor events that become parts of the larger pieces of the puzzle that makes up our lives.

How we view our circumstances, how we make our life decisions, is determined by the way those jigsaw pieces are put together. But unlike the puzzles on my iPad we can add pieces, and rearrange those pieces we already have to make room for the new ones.

Our lives are a complicated puzzle, which is why no two of us are alike. Nor will we ever be. No one else has exactly the same circumstances in their life that anyone else does. And everyone’s puzzle pieces are put together in different patterns.

And our puzzles are 3-D rather than the flat puzzles we normally associate with jigsaw puzzles. Can you imagine the work that goes into the puzzle that is our life?

We must also remember we are all a continual work in progress. On a daily basis. And our puzzle pieces continue to change and rearrange themselves until there are finally no more pieces to be added.

I picture my personal Jigsaw puzzle as a collage of  bright colors, with lots of flamingos, Yorkies, books, and of course an abundance of family. Being 3-D it also shifts its shape, constantly moving as pieces are added and rearranged.

Think about it. What does YOUR personal jigsaw puzzle look like? What pieces will you add today?

Fear

Posted on by
Reply

Fear can immobilize us. It can make us incapable of putting one foot in front of the other.

Fear can keep us from sleeping. It can tell us we’re not going to survive what we’re facing, and scare us out of taking the correct actions.

Fear can cause us to step away from a correct decision because that decision involves stepping into the unknown. 

Fear can prevent us from stepping out into something we’ve worked for, dreamed about, and prayed for, because we can’t make ourselves take a chance and risk failure.

Fear holds us back when we should be running ahead.

Fear is the voice we hear that says “no you can’t,” and outweighs the voice that says, “yes you can.”

Fear is what stops us from being successful.

Fear prevents us from relationships because we’ve had such bad luck in the past, and we’re afraid to take another chance.

Fear prevents us from going forward and holds us back, because fear doesn’t want us to succeed.

Fear is what prevents us from becoming the person we’re destined to be.

Fear chains us to a wall that we cannot escape from until we realize that fear is the only thing holding us back.

Fear can be overcome when we realize we’re stronger than our fears.

Fear goes away when we decide to take hold of our lives and become who we’re meant to be.

Fear becomes but a distant memory when we achieve what we’ve been purposed to do from the beginning.

And then fear becomes a voice we can no longer hear. Because fear has been put out of our lives forever.