Tag Archives: relationships

Are You Leading By Example…or Something Else?

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Intimidation

Fear

Unforgiveness

Threats

Judgment

Condemnation

Ostracism

Self righteousness

Arrogance

Bragging

Controlling

Don’t do as I do…Do as I say

All of these behaviors do nothing to build someone up, to make them want to be a better person. Instead of leading by example, you’re making people feel worthless, incompetent, and destroying whatever self confidence they once had.

All because YOU want to be seen as a power figure, someone important. Someone who knows so much more than anyone else.

And why is that? Could it be that you’re really not all the confident and self assured? That you don’t want anyone to know you don’t have all the answers? That someone else may actually have a better solution for a problem than you?

Why do you always have to be right? Why do you always have to have the final word?

A true leader doesn’t need to resort to the tactics I mentioned in the beginning of this post. A true leader leads from strength, concern for others, and by listening to those around them, and letting others speak what they feel without fear of reprisal.

A true leader is respected, not feared. They don’t try to bully others into doing what they want.

And this is true in your personal relationships as well as business situations. While there should never be a “leader” in a relationship, since a relationship is a partnership, neither partner should try to make the other do something using any of the methods listed above.

Look at yourself closely. Are you using any of the negative tactics mentioned above? And if you are, don’t you think it’s time for some self-evaluation?

You Can Always Make Time

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For the things you want to make time for.

You say you’re too busy and don’t have time to call or even text a friend? When you promise you would?

Must not really be that good of a friend. Or you’re not that good of a friend. And I’ve sure found that out.

We make time for things we really want to do and for people we care for. We don’t make promises and forget about them.

Saying you can’t find the time to do something really means it’s not really that important to you. Sure, there are days we really are overwhelmed with a “to do” list that doesn’t seem to end, but we still can make time tomorrow to do what we really need to do.

Before it’s too late.

There Will Never Be a Relationship Manual

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So don’t look for one.

Why? Because relationships involve two people, and no two people are alike.

So how can any relationship be anything like another?

You have to write your own manual. And that manual is one you add to every day. There’s no end to it.

Relationships are complicated. What works in one relationship won’t work in another. They’re the hardest things in the world to get right because they involve people, and you can’t control other people. You can’t make decisions without them, and you should never make decisions without consulting them.

You think there are perfect relationships? I have to tell you. There is no such thing. If you find someone who says they’ve never argued with their partner, they’re not telling the truth. 

In every successful relationship there are always times one or both partners feel like they want to give up. Start over with someone else. But that’s not how it works. 

Sure there are situations in which there are totally irreconcilable differences…abuse, cheating, untreated drug or alcohol abuse, to name a few.

But more relationships fail because of lack of communication and a true lack of commitment than the reasons I mentioned above. Without each person being able to communicate to the other, being able to express their feelings, and being ready, willing and able to truly listen to what the other has to say, it’s much harder to make the relationship successful. 

Trust is also vital. If you can’t trust someone with your feelings, how do you expect them to trust you with theirs?

Where is your relationship right now? If it needs some work, there no time like now to get started on repairs.

And if it’s going along beautifully, you’re truly blessed. Because in each relationship there’s always a little something that can be improved.

It’s Sad When Someone You Knew

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Becomes someone you knew.

How often does that happen? Too many times as far as I’m concerned.

There are many reasons. People relocate to new places and meet new people. Interests change. Spouses change, making once close relationships uncomfortable.

It’s tough maintaining relationships today. But as we get older, we learn to appreciate those who stay with us, and those we reconnect with after several years.

Facebook and Instagram have helped me reconnect with people I’d sadly lost contact with over the years, which I’m delighted about. I may not see some of these friends often, because they aren’t living close to me. But we’ve rekindled friendships, which are important.

The sad thing is, many people I used to know who are living here locally are no longer people I know.

Oh, I know them. And we used to be close. But life changes, and we don’t even realize it until it’s too late and those friendships disappear, lost in a sea of being too busy or not really caring any more, or having such strong viewpoints on subjects we can’t even agree to disagree on. And the friendship is gone as quickly as it began.

And they become someone  that we used to know.

Fortunately, in my case, many friends who moved away are still close, and we see each other a few times a year, but talk or text regularly. Friendships that are still strong and growing.

It’s sad when people we used to know become just that. People we used to know. Maybe we were friends, but maybe we really weren’t. 

Maybe we never really knew them, because we now hear them say things we could never imagine them saying or even thinking!

Sort of hard to tell sometimes, isn’t it?

Sometimes

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You don’t realize a relationship is wrong until you find one that’s right.

Sometimes it takes a while.

Sometimes the other person makes that decision first. And that hurts.

Sometimes you make that decision first which hurts the other person.

But true love can’t be found by settling for something safe and second best. Isn’t it better to be hurt for a short time than to be unhappy for a lifetime?