Tag Archives: starting over

Sometimes You Have to Accept…

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…that the people you thought were your really good friends really aren’t.

…that the people you thought would always be in you corner don’t really care about being there.

…that although they think they care, many times they’re just too busy to be that person you need.

…that true friends don’t always have to agree with everything we believe in; but that those disagreements should be put aside for true friendship.

…that when you really need a shoulder to cry on or a hand to help you up, it may not be there from the people you expected.

…that true friendship sometimes comes from those we least expected.

…that true friendship doesn’t expect anything in return for that friendship.

…that we’re not always the friends we need to be to others.

…that sometimes apologies are needed by both sides.

…that acquaintances are not the same as friends. Acquaintances can become friends, and friends can become only acquaintances.

…and that some day it may be too late to try to rekindle a friendship that has long since gone by the wayside.

Treasure your true friends; if they leave, then they were only friends for a season. If they stick by you through good times and bad times, and don’t desert you if they make new friends, then they are friends forever.

Life is a Risk Worth Taking

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If you don’t take risks, you’ll never really live, you know. At least not life to the fullest.

There are all kinds of risks. They don’t necessarily have to be dangerous.

It’s risky to leave a job and start another where you’ve been comfortable for so long. You know everyone and know exactly what you’re doing, but you’re not getting ahead in your career. And you think you’ve now found the perfect job. More money. More responsibility. And already a step up from where you are now. 

But still, it’s new. You’re starting over, sort of. You don’t know anyone there. Will you be accepted? Or feel out of place? What if you don’t like it? Because there’s no going back.

But what if you do, and it turns out to be everything you’ve wanted?

It’s risky to move from where you’ve been renting for quite awhile and become a homeowner. 

It’s also risky to sell your home in one city and move to another one in a new city where you don’t know anyone.

And it’s really risky to take that leap

of faith to quit your job and start up your own business, knowing you only have about three months’ worth of savings to fall back on if it doesn’t work.

It’s risky to finally decide to make a break from a bad relationship, either a long term dating situation or an unhappy marriage. Because you don’t know how hard it’ll be to start over. And if it was an abusive relationship, you don’t know whether he/she will try to come after you.

There’s also a risk in agreeing to certain surgeries, whether elective or not, because there are always certain kinds of complications in any surgical procedure.

These are the serious risks. But there are hundreds of risks we all take in any given year. Maybe even more. 

Because if we don’t take some kind of risk almost every day, we don’t grow. We stay in the same place, not moving ahead in life, and sometimes even going backwards. 

Now I could mention risks like skydiving or white water rafting, both of which would be huge risks as far as I’m concerned, but those aren’t the risks we’re talking about here. I’m talking decisions we’re called upon to make every single day that can affect our lives, and we don’t really think about them. Maybe I should call them opportunities, or choices, instead of risks, because that’s really what they are.

Without taking a chance on something in life you aren’t going to go forward. Do you want to be in the same place next month you are today?  Or are you going to see what else is out there for you?

And you’ll never know unless you make a decision to take a risk. Because that’s what life is all about.

The Day After

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It always starts with a different feeling in the air. The feeling that today is a new beginning. 

Until it all comes rushing back.

For too many, the day after brings back all of the sadness, the grief, the loss, and we find ourselves once again trying to make sense of it all.

The day after a joyous event is a day to rejoice in, and to look forward to the future. A day of planning and new beginnings.

But the day after a crushing event seems to be another day that will only end in more sadness. A day that we don’t think we’ll get through. A day that has a different kind of new beginning.

But somehow we get through it.

Because we have to.

Because there are others counting on us and looking for direction as to how to continue on.

And somehow we get through it with a strength we didn’t know we had.

Because an ending is also a new beginning. Not one we’ve necessarily looked forward to, but a new beginning nonetheless.

And somehow we do get through it and slowly start our new beginning.

One step at a time. One hour at a time One day at a time.

Until we get where we need to be in our new beginning. And we step out and start over

When the End Becomes the Beginning

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Sometimes we go thru trials so hard it’s gut wrenching. Our knees get weak and we fall. We feel like we have no one to turn to.

Our priorities change because of the “ends” in our life.

But an ending always brings a beginning of something else.

A marriage may end, but maybe you and your spouse weren’t really happy together. Maybe he/she was cheating, living a life you knew nothing about. Hiding it so well no one saw it coming.

It may be the end of that marriage but it’s the beginning of a whole new adventure. No, it’s not always easy, but instead of feeling sorry for yourself and wondering how you’ll get through it, look at it as the beginning of your next adventure.

Which doesn’t necessarily mean you need to find a new partner right away. Find yourself first. Find out who you are and who you want to be. It may surprise you.

The end of a job isn’t easy either, especially if you didn’t see it coming. Especially if you’re not financially prepared. You’re most likely angry, embarrassed, scared, and/or wondering what your next step needs to be. And how you’re going to pick up the pieces and start again.

You could be depressed to the point of doing nothing. You could trash the company you no longer work for. You could do the old “I never liked it there anyway. They never appreciated me” routine.

Or you could take the high road. Get in touch with all your business contacts and start networking.  Re-do your resume, updating and highlighting your skills. Determine what you want to do and start contacting the companies that fit your goals. And set your own goals to make it happen.

You may suddenly become empty nesters, it may feel like the end of being a parent. Suddenly you don’t have the same responsibilities. Suddenly it’s just the two (or sometimes one) of you in a big sort-of-empty house. How do you adjust to that? What do you do? Do you downsize and start over or rearrange your new lifestyle?

Or maybe you’re retiring, ending a lifelong work career. Beginning a totally new lifestyle. Where do you even start? What are you going to do to keep busy?

There are so many more types of endings in our life. Some anticipated and some that are not. Endings with closed doors that cannot be opened ever again. Endings that are seemingly impossible to turn into beginnings.

But time can do that. Even a death in the family introduces a new beginning. albeit a painful one. Not one that was ever wanted, but one that almost all of us experience sometime in our lives.

Painful as it may be, endings always turn into beginnings.  It’s up to us to take advantage of those beginnings, and select the right one.

Endings are not the beginning of the end. They’re a beginning of a new beginning.