Waiting

It’s probably one of the hardest things many of us can do.

And I’m not talking about waiting for your order to be delivered at your favorite restaurant. Or for a movie to begin that you’ve been wanting to see for weeks.

I’m talking about anticipating something happening. Maybe we know when and maybe we don’t. Either way it’s not easy for a lot of us.

We wait to hear back from a job interview that we really want. They say they’ll let you know soon. But soon seems to take forever and that whole time you’re wondering what the answer will be.

You’re waiting to hear back on an offer you’ve put in on a home. You really, really want that house, and it seems to be taking forever to hear back from your realtor to find out if that offer has been accepted.

Maybe you’re waiting for a marriage proposal from that special person you’ve been seeing. You want it to happen NOW, and perhaps you’re worrying if it’ll happen at all. Or you’re waiting for the person you just met the other night to call you like he/she said they would. And it seems to take forever.

Or you’re waiting for a doctor appointment that you’re dreading. Maybe because you’re having problems and symptoms that you know could end up in a bad diagnosis. Or you’re possibly facing surgery that you need but are really scared to have, even though everyone says it’s nothing, a piece of cake!

Maybe a loved one is very sick, and you’re extremely worried that every phone call, every text message, may bring bad news. News that you’re expecting but not wanting to hear.

Or you’re waiting to find out the results of a pregnancy test; worried about what the results will be. If you don’t want to be pregnant that’s a lot of worries. If you’re trying desperately to get pregnant with no success so far, that’s even harder.

Maybe you’re waiting for a call from a friend who promised they’d call or text you so you can get together and catch up. You keep waiting, and waiting…bur there’s no call…

Or you’re waiting for your spouse or child to come ho,me and it’s late; past the time they’re supposed to be there. You wait and worry about what’s wrong and it’s even worse because they’re not answering their phone.

Waiting isn’t easy. You worry. You wonder. Your mind goes crazy imagining all sorts of things…good and bad. You’re anxious. You can’t sleep.

Yes, I’ve been there. I’ve been there myself and I’ve been there with family and close friends. It doesn’t get easier. It’s hard. People say to have patience. Well, that’s not always easy to do in certain circumstances. 

I remember a few months ago after I’d had my annual mammogram and the imaging center called and said I had to have it redone because the tech saw some tissue that didn’t look right. I got the next available appointment which was 5 days later. Five days to worry; deep inside I knew it was ok, but it didn’t stop me from worrying and counting the hours until the appointment. And yes, it was ok. But still, the waiting was awful.

Children have a hard time waiting for Christmas to come, or for their birthdays. But as adults, the things we find ourselves waiting for are far more serious than those we wait for as children. But in a child’s mind those things are just as major as the ones we wait for as adults.

It’s all a matter of perspective.

Waiting is never easy. It’s stressful, and it’s not fun. But we all do it. We have no choice. There’s nothing instantaneous in this lifetime.

But most times, what we wait for turns out to be worth the wait. Many times it doesn’t seem like it, because what we wait for may not happen the way we want it to. However, most of the time the end result of that wait turns out to be positive. Although we may not know it at that time, and it may not be what we expected.

And yes, sometimes the answer isn’t good. But we have to deal with it and handle it the best we can. That’s not easy either, but that discussion is for another time.

Are you waiting for something? Impatiently or patiently? Impatience won’t make it happen any quicker, you know.

We all go through it. We’ve all been there. But what you’re waiting for will most likely be worth it when it happens. Even if it’s not quite the way you expected.

You Can’t Change the Past

But you can make sure it doesn’t happen again. 

The memories will always be there, though. Memories of what was, what will never be again. Memories of happier times, or memories of what you wish had never happened.

Those memories are part of us, and they make us who we are. Who we’ve become. 

Sometimes they’ve made us better. Sometimes they’ve put us in a dark place that it seems we can’t escape from.

Sometimes we take those memories and change them around in our minds so that we’ll have a happier ending. It’s our way of escaping the past, and in many cases, trying to make certain memories less painful by giving them a better ending.

But the reality eventually seeps back in and the real memories are still there. And you realize memories are a truth we can’t change.

Hindsight isn’t just a matter of timing; it’s a matter of wisdom that’s gained with experience. You can stay stuck in the place you are in, reliving every moment of hurt and pain over and over until it consumes you, or you can choose to pull yourself out of that place and start living your life again. 

No, it won’t be the same. You’re not the same. People around you have continued to move on with their lives, while you’re still stuck in the past and afraid or unwilling to join them.

Who you were is not necessarily who you are now. And do you really want to continue living in the past forever?

Because it’s really not a fun place to be. 

Let the past be the past. It’s time for you to live in the here and now and look ahead to your future.

What are you waiting for?