Tag Archives: life changes

Decisions

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We make them every day, you know. And they’re not always big ones.

We decide what we’re going to wear that day, and what shoes go best with that outfit.

We decide what we’re going to eat. If we’re going out to eat, and if so, we decide where. Or if we’re staying at home, we have to decide on a menu, and if we’re cooking it ourselves or having it delivered from a restaurant.

If we have children, we have to help them decide what to wear, and what they’re going to eat. Among other things.

We have to decide what we’re going to do on our weekends. Where we’re going and with who. Or if we’re just going to enjoy time to do nothing.

If someone we care about has a birthday coming up, we have to decide on a gift.

When it’s Christmas we have to decide on gifts for our family and friends, and even more, decide on ways to make the holiday a very memorable and special time.

These are decisions we make that many times we don’t even realize we’re making them. They just happen and we usually do them without a lot of thought. 

They’re easy to make.

But then there are the other decisions. The tough ones. The ones you don’t want to have to make, but you sometimes have no choice.

The decision to leave a job and start over, when you see that things are going terribly wrong and may not get better. Or you’re not going anywhere with your current job and you know you need to make a change. 

The decision to move yourself and your family several hundreds of miles away for either family situations or employment opportunities, leaving behind other beloved family members and friends you’ve known forever.

The decision as whether or not to split up with a spouse for totally devastating reasons: unfaithfulness, theft of your personal savings; criminal activity; severe drug or alcohol abuse; physical or emotional abuse. The list can go on but you get the idea. And it’s especially hard if you have young children.

The decision to move an elderly parent or maybe your spouse to a nursing home or other specialized care facility because they can no longer care for themselves and you cannot do it either.

Or even worse, the decision to take a family member off of life support because there is no hope for recovery.

Decisions are sometimes easy, and other times difficult, even gut wrenching. Unfortunately they’re part of life, and there’s sometimes no choice in the matter. You make the best decision you can under the circumstances. And once you do, you can’t look back and do a “what if?” Because those “what if’s” aren’t going to happen. 

Whatever decision you may be facing in the coming days, weeks, or even months, make the best one you can under the circumstances. And don’t look back, because you did the right thing at the time. 

May you have the confidence to make the right decisions in the coming year, and may you make them with no regrets afterwards.

Every Flower Blooms

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In its own time.

It doesn’t rush; it doesn’t hurry because someone else wants it to bloom right now.

It doesn’t take in extra nutrients and water to hurry the process along because it knows that would alter or even destroy the beauty that is to come.

It doesn’t fear the storms around it that may threaten the growing blooms because it knows those tiny buds are formed for a specific purpose and they are also designed to withstand those storms.

It doesn’t worry that not everyone will appreciate or even enjoy the beauty that emerges, because it was specifically designed for that one special touch of color and design that will make its area of the garden a more special and perfect place.

But only for a time. The time may be short, lasting only a day or so, or it may last a week or even two. And when it’s time, its beauty begins to fade.

It doesn’t begrudge the fact that its beauty begins to fade; it changes as it ages, as it’s designed to do. There’s even a special beauty in a drying bloom that sometimes only it’s creator appreciates.

But even as that bloom prepares to die and return to the soil that nurtured it, it spreads its seeds that will become more blooms, just like it once was.

And the flower lives on through its descendants, which grow and bloom in its image.

And in their particular appointed time.

It’s a Brand New Year

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What are you going to do with it?

That’s 365 days. It’s a lot of time to do something you haven’t done before.

To try something new. Something you’ve always wanted to do. Something you’ve thought about but just haven’t had the opportunity – or the confidence – to try. 

You’re not happy with where you are, what you’re doing? What’s keeping you from changing it? Fear of failure? Or fear of succeeding? Lack of motivation? Lack of self-confidence? Or just not knowing what to do or where to go next?

You’ve heard me say many times I don’t make New Years resolutions. Resolutions are broken usually within the first couple of weeks of the new year. Everyone can resolve to do something, but resolving and actually doing are two different things.

To be successful in this new year you’ve been given takes planning, determination, focus, willpower, and something one of my favorite high school teachers called stick-to-it-ive-ness. Keeping at it no matter what.

It’s always easier to give up when it gets difficult rather than to keep pushing through to your goal. It’s easier to say “I can’t” rather than “I can.”

That’s not saying you have to keep doing the same thing over and over if what you’re doing just isn’t working. Take a hard look at what you’re trying to accomplish and try to figure out how to do it differently to produce the desired results. Ask others to give their input and don’t be afraid to listen to what they have to say. Many times a fresh pair of eyes can see things you can’t, and suddenly you figure out a new plan that will change your outcome.

What’s your first and most important thing that you need to re-do?

Are you trying for a new job, but nothing seems to be working? Is it because you’re not presenting your qualifications properly? Or maybe you’re trying for a job that’s just not right for your skills and interests? Or maybe you’re trying for a job instead of a position that excites you; a position that enables you to use your past experiences in a new way, maybe in a new field.

Try writing out a job description of your ideal position, using your qualifications and experience as a base for what you’d enjoy doing. And don’t give that position a name, because it limits your creativity and boxes you in to a particular job. Again. Then make your plan to look for a position that incorporates those skills. Who says you have to stay in the same line of work you’ve always been in?  Your unique set of skills may open you up to an entire new career.

Maybe you want to start your own business. Be your own boss. While that’s not as easy as it sounds, if you want to do it, what’s holding you back? Try it. Put together your business plan. And if it doesn’t work right at first, instead of getting discouraged and giving up, take a hard look at what your business is. Are you selling a product, and if so, is it a product lots of people will want, and can you sell enough of that product to make it a full time endeavor? Maybe, although it’s a product you’re excited about, maybe you’re one of the few who are excited about that product. So what could you change about it to make it more desirable to others? Or what could you add to your product line to generate business?

If you’re offering a service, is it service that lots of people need? Who are you trying to reach? How are you trying to reach them? Look closely at how you’re marketing the service. Are you reaching your target audience?  If not, what can you do differently so those people will know you’re out there, ready to help them?

And if your business plan isn’t working, maybe you need to redo that plan so it’ll work.

Or maybe you’re looking for a new relationship. Maybe you’re stuck in a relationship that doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. You don’t want to give up, but you also aren’t happy. So are you going to settle for what you’ve got or decide to go for someone who’s more suited to you, whose interests are the same as yours, and who enjoys spending quality time with you? Rather than being afraid you’ll not have anyone at all, look for someone who’s more suited to you. Which is worse – settling for what you think you have, or deciding there’s more to life than what you currently have, and doing what’s necessary to change it? Being alone with yourself is usually better than being alone in an unhappy relationship.

Maybe you want to improve your health, exercise more, eat healthier. That’s a great goal, but you still need a plan, and you need to stick to it. You’re the only one who can make that plan work. And remember that’s going to be a lifetime commitment. Not just for this coming year. And believe it or not, this will be the hardest of the four ideas I’ve just presented to be accomplished. 

These are just a few things you can look at changing for the new year. Notice I still didn’t say the word “resolution”. Because resolutions don’t work. Plans can work. But change only works when you make a plan and stick to it. 

And remember all plans have to be flexible. Because something is always going to come up and try to derail your plan, no matter how well thought out it is. And that’s called life. Life happens to all of us. And we have to continually be prepared to change our plans to fit in with what life brings us.

Sound like an impossible situation? Not at all. All our plans and goals are important to us. It’s what makes us who we are. And just because our first set of plans don’t work, it doesn’t mean we’ve failed. It means we’re learning. And growing.

Happy New Year to everyone!