The flamingos are really having a difficult time this week. You see, they never want to miss the opportunity for a good party. But St. Patrick’s Day is giving them a hard time.
Why? Have you ever seen an Irish flamingo?
Well, you know these flamboyant birds like to sparkle and bask in elegance and glitter. But St. Patrick’s Day just doesn’t lend itself to a lot of glitz and glitter.
Green felt hats! Shamrocks? Four leaf clovers? Can you just picture these flashy birds wearing these green Irish hats? Without any touch of sparkle?
And leprechauns….they just don’t fit the flamingo mold. Bright red hair and beards don’t go with pink feathers! Neither do green coats and green top hats! Especially when they don’t even include feathers!
Now flamingos are jokesters by nature, and they do like to pull silly pranks on their friends, like leprechauns are known for, but dressing like one…no way! Not in your pink lifetime!
And kelly green doesn’t really go very well with flamingo pink! Trust me, they’ve tried all kinds of combinations. It just doesn’t work….except in bouquets of pink roses! Which has nothing to do with St. Patrick’s Day.
Then there’s the traditional Irish meal of corned beef and cabbage. Now many of you like that and even look forward to going out to dinner and enjoying a tasty meal of it. But have you ever seen the flamingos out enjoying a meal of corned beef and cabbage on St. Patrick’s Day?
Now you do know that flamingos really enjoy their libations! But green beer? First of all, they don’t even like beer. Champagne, wine, margaritas…all manner of tropical cocktails, yes, but not beer. Especially when it’s dyed bright green! The only green drink I’ve ever seen them have is a margarita, and that’s LIME green!
Irish music? Far too raucous for these pink birds who prefer jazz or the Margaritaville sounds!
In fact, the only St. Patrick’s Day tradition the flamingos can halfway get into is the idea of the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. But then they’d have to find the leprechaun that’s guarding it in order to take it, and that’s just not their style…
So what’s a flamingo to do for St. Patrick’s Day?
Believe it or not, they are just taking this day very low key. They’ve actually planned a quiet (for a flamingo, that is) evening at home. Enjoying a dinner of lime drizzled shrimp with sliced avocado, margaritas garnished with an extra slice of lime, followed by a dessert of key lime cupcakes splashed with green and gold sprinkles.
And discussing the possibility of starting their own March 17 holiday for next year…maybe St. Flamingo’s Day…??
And the wearing of the pink?!
Happy St. Patrick’s Day from the Flamingos!
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Their grand dessert finale was the traditional King Cake….flamingo style. Traditionally the King Cake is a round cake confection decorated with sugared icing in the Mardi Gras colors of green, gold, and purple. The cake itself may be colored as well, or it may contain apple, cream cheese, or other fillings. It usually contains a small figurine of the Baby Jesus, although today the figurines can be any number of different items. But only one, because tradition says that whoever gets the figurine in their slice provides the cake for next year’s party.
Unfortunately they wouldn’t allow photos of their performance, as they’re in the process of negotiating a major recording contract, and they want their publicity photos to be released at the time of their first album! What can we say….?
While the flamingos were enjoying their coffee the other morning they happened to be watching TV, and saw all the commotion about Punxsutawney Phil seeing his shadow, and how it meant six more weeks of winter. Which did not make them happy. For a number of reasons.
Yes, the flamingos were quite upset. And if you’ve ever seen a bunch of upset flamingos, you know it isn’t a pretty sight! When I left for work that morning, they were still squawking about Groundhog Day!
So the time arrived. For some reason they picked 3:00 in the afternoon for the event to take place. By the pool, of course, even though it was definitely too cold to go swimming! And at exactly 3:00 Vincent von Flamingo, the host of the event, strutted out, appropriately dressed in top hat and tuxedo jacket, and proclaimed that Dazzling Dorothy, Flamingo Prognosticator Extraordinaire, and Weatherperson of Wonder, would in just a few minutes be presenting herself on stage to make her first major prediction about spring.
The crowd went wild, taking pictures, videos, and squawking in delight! They knew this was going to be a day to remember!
And of course one thing eventually led to another, and suddenly they were making snowmen…well, actually snow flamingos.
Well, I guess I did, and I guess I didn’t put it on my calendar (probably because we weren’t invited!) but they showed me the invitation they’d already sent out, so I had no choice.
Now you may not have heard of him as much as Santa Claus himself, but Santa Flamingo is a very important bird. And very important to the main man, Santa Claus himself!
He knew he needed help, so he decided to branch out and hire some other Santas to help him out. This wasn’t an easy thing to do, because he had to hire just the right ones for the job. He had to trust them to make all the deliveries on time, and at the right houses; his helpers had to be sure to eat the cookies left out by he kids; and they had to be absolutely sure NO ONE saw them while they were carrying out their duties.
So he gave instructions to the elves on what to do while he was gone (after all it was only for 4-5 days), and he and Mrs. Claus packed their bags, jumped on an airplane, and a few hours later they were checked into a beautiful hotel in Aruba. Right on the beach. They quickly changed their clothes, put on their swimsuits, and soon they were relaxing by the pool, with a cold drink in their hands. Ahhhhh….now this is what he needed, thought Santa!
But he still couldn’t get his mind off the fact that he really, really needed to get some help. And quickly. And as nice as it was there, it didn’t make it any easier when everything on the island was already decorated for Christmas. He even saw flamingos wearing red Santa hats.
He thought about it all afternoon and mentioned his idea to Mrs. Claus that night over dinner. “So that would solve the problem, at least in one part of the world. They wouldn’t need the red suit, not with those bright pink feathers anyway. They could just wear some of my hats, and it would be perfect! I can even interview some flamingos while we’re here. I’m sure we’ll find just the right one. And then he can select the ones that he’ll use to pull the sleigh. We have a few extra ones anyway, and they all have GPS now, so there’s no way any children will be missed. What do you think?”
Santa asked around at the hotel next morning, and that afternoon, a flamingo stopped over by Santa’s lounge chair. He was even wearing a Santa hat, decorated with a sprig of holly. “I heard you’re looking for some help,” he squawked. “I’m here to apply. My friends and I would love to help you out! They’re ready to fly, and I’m ready to drive. They even have reindeer antlers! I already have my hat, and the wife and I agreed a change of scenery for a few weeks, you know, up to the North Pole and all to learn everything, would be a great vacation. We’ve always wanted to see snow, so this is perfect! What do you say?”
Do you remember when I wrote about finding the flamingos in my kitchen making their Thanksgiving dinner? I’m still trying to figure out how they turned my kitchen pink, but at least when they were finished they turned it back to its original state.
