Don’t Make A Permanent Decision…

….based on a temporary emotion.

It never turns out good.

And you’ll find yourself suddenly living in the land of regret.

Sure, you may be devastated because your significant other just broke up with you, but that doesn’t mean you have to quit your job and move to another town where you don’t know anyone and start over because you’re afraid people will talk about you. 

You may be angry at your employer, angry enough to quit your job to “show them how much you’re” needed”, but all that does is make you unemployed with no immediate job prospects and no hope of a good reference from that former employer.

Or you may be upset because of the way you thought one of your friends was treating you and decide to tell them exactly how little you think of them. Only a day or two later you discover you were wrong, and lost several of your other friends because of your actions.

Uncomfortable or life-altering situations occur in our lives more often than we’d like. And our first reaction to such situations is often anger or in some cases devastating heartbreak, as in the loss of a close loved one. At those times we’re not thinking rationally, and our thought processes are turned upside down. 

We’re not able to totally comprehend the gravity of what may have just happened, let alone think clearly enough to make permanent decisions based on what happened. Because the next few days may start to clarify things that will enable you to make more rational decisions. 

We’ve all heard stories such as this, like the woman who thought she’d caught her husband cheating, and went home and destroyed all of his clothes, his important papers, and told his employer what she’d supposedly “discovered”. Only to find out the woman she’d seen him with was a travel agent helping him book a surprise vacation for their anniversary.

Farfetched? Not really. Most of us have been in or heard of similar instances. 

Our emotions can easily get the best of us when we’re angry, stressed, or facing a difficult situation in which we can’t see a way out. Making permanent decisions when we’re in that frame of mind are a recipe for total disaster. And if you sign your name on the dotted line, there’s usually no turning back.

The lesson here? Don’t make major, permanent decisions until you really think them through. A day or even better, a week or two, will give you a cooling down period in which you can determine the best way to handle your particular situation. 

Because if you don’t, you’re most likely going to regret it.

We Make the Best Decisions We Can

With the information we have at that time. 

If we knew what the future held, we might have made different decisions. 

Which would have changed what our future was. 

Think about that….

Think about some of the major events in our history which could have been so different if other decisions had been made. And the way history would have changed our world.

The Kennedy assassination. If he hadn’t gone to Dallas and ridden in an open car.

The Martin Luther King assassination. If he hadn’t stepped outside on that balcony in Memphis.

People make decisions based on what they know at the time.

A young girl finds herself pregnant and has no idea where to turn. She has an illegal abortion and ends up unable to have children.

A woman stays with her abusive  husband because she’s embarrassed over her mistake of marrying him; until he throws her down the steps and breaks her back.

Then again, some decisions we make which we look back on with regret turn out to be the best decisions when we later think about it.

For instance, if I’d gone to law school instead of letting my husband at that time convince me I shouldn’t, I’d probably never have met my forever husband at that mall in Washington.

If he’d become an architect like he’d planned, instead of giving up because he hated geometry and decided to go into sales, he’d most likely have never been in that mall in Washington.

And, all that being said, we wouldn’t have our daughter Ashley or our two, soon to be three, grandchildren.

We make decisions every day based on what we know at the time. Some end up happily, and some we regret forever. Others, we realize after time, were not only right, but exactly what was meant to be.

If there’s decision you made years ago that you’re still regretting, think about all the things that have happened since that decision and what you would be missing today if you’d done differently. 

Yes, there are some decisions that have a disastrous effect on the rest of your life, and some that made your life happier than you could’ve imagined.

But the decisions we make along the way shape our lives into what they are today. And they shape others we meet along the way as well.

And because of our decisions we’re exactly where we’re supposed to be at the time.

Decisions

We make them every day, you know. And they’re not always big ones.

We decide what we’re going to wear that day, and what shoes go best with that outfit.

We decide what we’re going to eat. If we’re going out to eat, and if so, we decide where. Or if we’re staying at home, we have to decide on a menu, and if we’re cooking it ourselves or having it delivered from a restaurant.

If we have children, we have to help them decide what to wear, and what they’re going to eat. Among other things.

We have to decide what we’re going to do on our weekends. Where we’re going and with who. Or if we’re just going to enjoy time to do nothing.

If someone we care about has a birthday coming up, we have to decide on a gift.

When it’s Christmas we have to decide on gifts for our family and friends, and even more, decide on ways to make the holiday a very memorable and special time.

These are decisions we make that many times we don’t even realize we’re making them. They just happen and we usually do them without a lot of thought. 

They’re easy to make.

But then there are the other decisions. The tough ones. The ones you don’t want to have to make, but you sometimes have no choice.

The decision to leave a job and start over, when you see that things are going terribly wrong and may not get better. Or you’re not going anywhere with your current job and you know you need to make a change. 

The decision to move yourself and your family several hundreds of miles away for either family situations or employment opportunities, leaving behind other beloved family members and friends you’ve known forever.

The decision as whether or not to split up with a spouse for totally devastating reasons: unfaithfulness, theft of your personal savings; criminal activity; severe drug or alcohol abuse; physical or emotional abuse. The list can go on but you get the idea. And it’s especially hard if you have young children.

The decision to move an elderly parent or maybe your spouse to a nursing home or other specialized care facility because they can no longer care for themselves and you cannot do it either.

Or even worse, the decision to take a family member off of life support because there is no hope for recovery.

Decisions are sometimes easy, and other times difficult, even gut wrenching. Unfortunately they’re part of life, and there’s sometimes no choice in the matter. You make the best decision you can under the circumstances. And once you do, you can’t look back and do a “what if?” Because those “what if’s” aren’t going to happen. 

Whatever decision you may be facing in the coming days, weeks, or even months, make the best one you can under the circumstances. And don’t look back, because you did the right thing at the time. 

May you have the confidence to make the right decisions in the coming year, and may you make them with no regrets afterwards.

If You Put Off Making A Decision

It’ll be made for you. 

And it might not be the one you would have made for yourself, except you hesitated. Didn’t want to deal with it.

But if you put off making a decision you really need to make, because you’re afraid to make the wrong decision, you’ll be stuck with a result that you’ll have to live with for a long time.

It may be a decision you’d have made much differently, but were hesitant to decide one way or another. 

So now you’re stuck with the consequences.

Consequences you caused because you wouldn’t make a decision. Isn’t it better to live with the consequences of a decision you made, instead of one you refused to have a say in?