I’m Here! What Do You Think of Me?

Today I was finally born. I’m sorry you went through so much pain, but I’m here now, and all that’s over. Now we both need to rest. Because there’s an exciting world out there for me to explore with you and Daddy!

I’m so glad to finally be out, because there just wasn’t any more room for me. But those first few minutes outside were a bit scary. It was cold, and the lights were so bright! There were people everywhere, and I didn’t know who they were. And I needed to be wrapped up really well. Those warm blankets felt so good, and my little hat with that bow on it made my head feel so warm (even though it messed up my hair)! I love bows, by the way, Mommy. I was exhausted from all of the stress of being born, and I couldn’t keep my eyes open.

But when the doctor put me in your arms, I immediately knew who you were. You see, I heard your heartbeat, and the rhythm of your breathing; I smelled your scent, and heard your voice. I managed to open my little eyes for a few seconds, and as soon as I saw you, I fell even more in love with you! And Daddy, too! I’m the luckiest baby in the world to have you two as my parents! I know you two will love me and care for me and keep me safe.

And my grandparents…I got to see them in the hallway on the way to the nursery, you know. I opened my eyes, and there was my grandmother. She’s beautiful. Just like you. And she reminded me so much of your own grandmother. I tried to smile at her, and I think maybe I did, but I was so tired. My grandfather was there, too. He looked like he was getting ready to cry. That was so cute.

Daddy never left my side while they were taking me to the nursery in that little crib, and he stayed right there until I got settled. He was making sure I was comfortable and warm, and he just couldn’t stop looking at me, and telling me how much he loved me.

After he left, the doctors kept examining me and not letting me sleep; that did get a little old after a while. But I guess it was for my own good. After giving me a quick warm sponge bath, which tickled, by the way, my nurse put a little shirt on over my head to help keep me warm before she wrapped me in the blanket. I think it’s going to take a little while for me to get used to wearing clothes, because they feel a little strange on my skin. But I know I’ll get used to them, and I know you have lots of pretty ones waiting for me at home. There was just so much going on all the time, no wonder I kept sleeping! It was exhausting!

Finally they brought me in your room. I just wanted to be with you! I love how we have those matching bracelets…you and me and Daddy! Not that you’d ever not know it was me, but it made me feel good to know they were being so careful. But that sensor tag on my ankle was a bit much, wasn’t it!? I’m sure we’ll laugh about that later.

It wasn’t easy getting the hang of that bottle either; those first few times with it I wasn’t real sure what to do. But my little tummy was rumbling so I knew I had to learn! After a few tries I caught on, and that formula tasted pretty good! You and Daddy are really good at feeding me, too. It’s such a special time together, isn’t it??

My grandmother and grandfather enjoyed feeding me, too. Grandmom holds me and talks to me, and sometimes she just looks at me and smiles and smiles! I bet she did that when you were first born, too. I can’t tell you what she was talking to me about, but I’m sure she’ll tell you one day.

Now in case you’re wondering how I’m still writing to you even though I’m finally born, and no longer inside of you, it’s really very simple. God wanted to surprise you, so He’s letting me do this for a few more days. I don’t know exactly for how long yet, so we’re just going to enjoy it while we can. I don’t think you mind, do you Mommy?

And I’m really more tired now than I was before I was born. You notice I’m sleeping most of the time, right? I have to get a lot of rest right now, so I’ll be sleeping a lot for the next few weeks. And when I get more energy we’ll have so much fun together!

What an exciting day it’s been though, right!? I’m so excited to finally be out and meeting you and all of my family! And I’m so looking forward to my new life here!!! I love you!!


Changed Lives

May 30, 2016

One week ago two lives were forever changed. They’d prepared for it as best they could. They had the furniture, and the accessories, the clothes and the diapers. They’d had baby showers and gifts. Her name had been selected months before.

They were ready. So they thought.

But when the moment came, and that tiny new life, created from the best parts of both of them, was placed in their arms, life forever changed. And they knew they hadn’t been prepared. Not really.

Because how can you totally be prepared for the miracle of new life when she’s suddenly placed in your arms? No longer inside her mommy’s belly, being nurtured and protected only by her, this little miracle has now entered the world, totally helpless and dependent on her parents to provide for her every need. She cannot feed herself, clothe herself, or change her own diapers. She cannot put herself to bed. She cannot hold her own head up yet, cannot crawl, cannot walk.

She is totally and completely theirs, and she is relying on them for everything in her entire new little adventure into a big, and sometimes scary, new world.

They knew all of this. But until she was in their arms that first time, there was no way they really totally KNEW.

Because until you hold that little life for the very first time; until you look in her eyes together and see yourselves in her face; until you hear that first sweet cry, you cannot image the pure love that you are suddenly engulfed in. It’s a feeling that’s indescribable, and one that will never leave, no matter how old you become. The bond between child and mother and child and father is one to be cherished forever, and is not meant to be broken.

They were both totally overwhelmed with emotions they never even imagined were possible. They couldn’t believe she was theirs. It was almost more than they could comprehend. But one thing they knew…their lives were changed forever from that first moment. Changed for nothing but good, and the good only gets better and better every day.

I knew my daughter and son in law would be great parents. But I just am overwhelmed by how they’ve taken on their new roles as mommy and daddy. They both are amazing, especially Daddy, who has to take a bit more active role now because of Mommy’s C-section recovery.

Watching my daughter hold her own daughter, who looks exactly like her when she was born, is nothing short of amazing to me. There’s just something about watching your child holding and feeding her own child; you wonder where the years went, and suddenly realize, you succeeded as a mother, because your own daughter has so naturally become a mother now herself.

And for us, as new grandparents, our lives are changed as well. We now have another generation to love and nurture, and to watch as she grows up to become an amazing young woman.

There is just nothing like the feeling of holding your baby’s baby in your arms; no words to describe it, and I still cry once in awhile as I feel her softness and cuddle her closely. I marvel at her every time I hold her, and have even caught myself calling her my daughter’s name because they look so much alike. Her new granddad is already head over heels in love with her, and he’s already wrapped around her tiny finger. The love on his face as he holds her is simply amazing.

Yes, all of our lives were changed a week ago. And we wouldn’t have it any other way.

Happy one week birthday Rachel Marie!

I Really Miss You, Mom

This was actually written on November 16….. However, it is so totally true……

There are some times I miss you more than others, Mom. Today was one of those days.

Even though you’re no longer here, I truly believe you know that your granddaughter Ashley and her long-time boyfriend Chris were married a little over six months ago. I wish you could’ve met him. I know you’d love him as much as we all do. They’re absolutely perfect for each other. They have the same temperament. The same likes and dislikes. They balance each other.

I knew from the first few dates they had, that they’d end up together permanently. There really wasn’t any doubt.

Although some may think I’m a bit crazy, I believe you and Daddy, and the rest of our family who are with you in heaven, were given the gift of seeing their wedding. There were times that day I felt your presence so strongly….like you were there giving them your blessing, as you squeezed my dad’s hand and told him how proud you were of your granddaughter…how much you loved her. Did you see the charm on her bouquet? With that picture of you and her in your kitchen…with her sunburned face as she smiled at you? That’s one of her favorite pictures of the two of you.Bouquet Charm

Today was a special day, and one that I would have so loved to have shared with you. I’m sure you already know that our baby, your granddaughter, and my daughter, is having a baby of her own. I’m sure you knew it before I did, and probably before Ashley and Chris did. In fact, as Ashley said earlier, you already know whether it’s a boy or a girl. And you’re not telling us, either.

A few weeks ago Ben and I were able to join Ashley and Chris as we saw the first ultrasound of our grandchild. That was an awesome moment. Watching the two of them as they saw the first glimpse of that new life they created…I cannot even begin to express my thoughts. Ben and I were both a bit teary eyed. Ashley and Chris were just amazed. It was still a bit hard to believe.

But today. A month later, it was so different. It was just Ashley and me in that ultrasound room. Chris was at work, and so was Ben. I watched as the technician moved that wand around on my daughter’s belly, and that little darling grandchild of ours…your great-grandchild…was there just lounging around. Once in a while the legs would kick, or the arms would wave. This time, that little baby who’s only an inch and a half long, was clearly visible as a baby. A new life…not just a collection of cells, but a little person coming into being.
I so would have loved to tell you how I felt…to share that moment with you. I wanted the three of us…three generations…to be involved. I wondered how you’d felt when you found out I was having a baby. How you felt knowing your baby was having a baby of her own. Because that’s all I could think about. My baby that I carried for nine months was now carrying a baby of her own.

Jeremiah 1:5 tells us “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, before you were born I set you apart…” The Lord already knows all about this little person. What he or she will look like. What he or she will do with their life. And I believe the Lord has already filled you in, Mom, on all of it. And you and Daddy are even more excited about all that your first great grandchild will be. And you’re excited for all of us as well!

Yes, today was one of those days I have missed you more than I can even express, because there are just those times that I need my mom to talk to and share special moments with.

Mom, even though I can’t tell you in person, I just want you to know how excited I am. I think I can finally almost imagine how you felt when Ben and I told you that you were finally going to be a grandmother.

I just wish I could share it all with you in person. I love you, Mom. And I miss you…

November 16, 2015

A Letter to our Daughter and Son-in-Law

Our daughter and her husband are having a baby! We’ve known for several weeks and have been wanting to share their news with the world. And now we finally can!

I actually wrote this several weeks ago, and have patiently (well not really patiently) waited until I was given permission to make the news public.

To Ashley and Chris:

You’re having a baby! There are a million thoughts going through your minds right now. Joy, excitement, wonder…and let’s face it, I’m sure just a little bit of fear. Especially with your first one.

There’s so much to think about. Now that you’ve told your family, how are you going to tell your friends? What will he/she look like? How are you going to decorate the nursery? How is your life going to change? And how in the world can you possibly get everything ready before he/she gets here?

But there’s something else you need to think about…the wonder of actually having created a new life; a new person. There’s actually a very tiny living being inside of a mother-to-be. And for nine months, Mom will be carrying that other person inside of her, nourishing him/her, and looking forward to the day when that little person actually arrives and is placed in your arms. Leaving the safety of Mom’s body and entering a whole new world. There’s nothing like it!

The wonder of all of this struck me one morning driving to work as the Lord gave me this verse and asked me to write this for you.

Jeremiah 1:5 – “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, before you were born I set you apart…” (NIV)

The Lord already knows this baby. He knew this baby before he/she was even conceived. He knows if it’s a boy or a girl, his/her name, what he/she will look like, what his/her personality will be. He knows the struggles as well as the triumphs he/she will face in life. He knows what career he/she will have, and where he/she will live. He even already knows who your baby will marry and how many children he/she will have one day.

Imagine the enormity of all of that. The wonder of the Lord is amazing. Here you are, just discovering you’re going to be parents, and the Lord already knows all about this little being who’s only the size of a lime right now. He knows his/her total future. He has plans for him/her. And He will make sure those plans are fulfilled, even if he/she gets off track. And He personally selected YOU to be his/her parents. How totally amazing is that?

Most likely you haven’t thought of all of this; at least not yet. There’s too many other thoughts going through your heads.
But the Lord is amazing, and He has gifted you two with a wondrous and precious gift…a gift He created just for you.

Dad and I cannot wait to meet our first grandchild! We love you all!